Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Morning.  I'm writing you on a not-so early morning (it's 7am) with my oatmeal and milk.  Ooh.. I should brew some coffee.  Hmm.. my stomach says 'too harsh', so a pot of tea it is.  God will have to forgive me for not going to Mass this morning.  I didn't get a great sleep last night and wanted to sleep in a little. Even when I decided I could feel like crap the rest of the day, the rain was a factor (I walk there).  I'll be going there later today anyways, so I'll apologize then :p

Have a few things on my mind, so I'm going to spew my typical random babble.  Besides, it's been a while since I've sat and caught up with you, so it's overdue.

Work is... going.  Days are fine, though I seriously have to get new shoes.  The non-slips I wear are killing my feet, and my back and knees.  I think I'm going to wear normal running shoes with a non-slip cover.  I'm getting okay hours, but not what I was hoping.  Yet. Lots of changes at work so they're keeping us on our toes.  I think sometimes, they like nothing better to do than mess with our heads and see how much torment we can actually take.  Sadistic, they are I tell you.

There's a new special friendship forming (we'll call him J.C. ha! I just caught the irony of his initials).  God has definitely had a hand in this, so I'm anxious to see how it goes.  He's already been there for a lot.

When I see an opportunity of a potential relationship (not to imply *that's* where that friendship is going. It's not my decision and it may or may not and I'm not expecting anything, but to be fair, I'm a girl and this is where my head goes) I initially get happy, but then I get very, very scared.  I haven't been looking for anything (for a reason; I realized it wasn't time and I wasn't ready).  My point of view of relationships has changed (priorities, needs, expectations, desires) and when I stare into the eyes of someday having a major relationship again, ugh, I start to freak out.  Not in a bad way; I mean, it's good, but it's just that... well, I'm scared.  Not only for something new, I think, but because those new ideals are being challenged.  I don't jump into things heart first anymore (thanks K), or if I do, I keep it reserved (is this what normal people do??).  I'm scared of being hurt again. I'm scared of letting all abandon go and being consumed by something (though wanting it at the same time).  Boy oh boy.  Well, my eyes have been opened and I've been given a bit of a reality check.  Now I can sit back, try and let all this worry go and relax until something *wonderful* comes along.

That's a lot of philosophizing for first thing in the morning, isn't it?

I have to stay at home today until a shipment comes; I missed UPS yesterday.  Got a couple books on Amazon on the Black Friday sales (ooh! CZ - I got the Jaime Oliver book!).  Then I hope to run some errands this afternoon.  Please pray to the UPS gods I get the shipment in the morning, not afternoon.

I'm finishing my fourth (and final!) assignment.  Thank God.  Then I write my final in December and I'm DONE!  I'm so ready for this to be over.  While I love learning, my brain needs a break.

I need to start knitting again.

How's your Christmas shopping going?  I'm half done.  Some people needs additional gifts, some I haven't bought for yet.  I really should make a list.

Well, I looked on the radar and it doesn't seem to be letting up.  Ah well, that's why man made umbrellas.

Hope your week is a good one!

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