Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Dream, Interrupted

I didn't get the job.

To say I was disappointed was a bit of an understatement.  I'd kind of ridden a lot on these interviews; a chance for a new career, following a new dream, hoping for that *one* foothold to launch off of.  It would have also enabled me to obtain a car to make my life a *little* bit easier.  This wasn't it.  Part of me is okay with that.  Really.  It's just not meant to be, or at least, it's not meant to be with *them*.  And that's fine.  But there's not *one* interview that I haven't gone to where I didn't get the job.  Ever.  So you can call me incredibly skilled or incredibly lucky.  And to be honest, I wasn't too crazy about the 3am wake-up time, so I'm not too upset about that.  Anyways, when I found out, I was out with a friend and thank God for him because I would have wallowed and been depressed the rest of the evening.  Now when I think about it (the news), I don't get as upset about it as I originally would have.  Did I mention I have awesome friends?

I liken it to a funny sort of image: I'm driving my old, wooden horse-drawn cart down a path (dude, don't ask) and naturally I have a destination (I haven't dreamed where I'm going yet.  Maybe that'll be in the next image).  I hit a larger-than-usual rock/stone I didn't see and it busts off my wheel.  I stop, I look, I sigh, and I get off to fix the wheel.  It takes quite a while because I'm by myself (the horses sure aren't good to help, though they pass for 'company') and I've got limited tools.  It takes a while, some sweat, maybe a few good curse words but I am successful and carry on.

Why do our dreams.. our destinations.. our goals.. get interrupted?  Is it to test us?  To see how serious we are?  Is it to divert us to another path?  I mean, it's rhetorical to say we always get tested, but the 'tests' vary on how big they are and how they affect us (or how we let them affect us).

While I'm writing this I'm thinking of friends (some of you reading this) who have overcome or are trying to currently overcome some obstacles; a friend who finished her Masters in Psychology and is trying to get a job in her field.  Someone who got turned down by countless medical schools (and I mean *countless*) to get approved and accepted into one and is (finally) on his way to becoming a doctor.  Someone who just got the unfortunate news of not being accepted to a local, head-of-the-field veterinary school after a second try (and please understand the application process is exhausting).  Someone performing total demolition on her main bathroom (with a four-person family to boot) to start new renovations (not career-minded as others listed, but can be equally life-altering, draining and emotional).  A friend with an illness that invades her body in almost the worst way and is unable to work in the interm or socialize much (or eat for that fact - a basic nourishment we can easily take for granted).  We don't let obstacles or disappointments stop us.  We get let down, we get frustrated.. and maybe we get down right pissed off.. but maybe we pray to our own God for strength and guidance, or maybe we ask the universe to present us with an opportunity that is the right one and we keep our eyes, ears, mind and heart open to see the outstretched hand that will take us where we need to go.  If I ever had a doubt about perseverance (rare; I'm quite stubborn!), you guys are shining examples.  Thank you.

Me?  I'm going to keep on baking and French cooking at home; that's what makes me happy right now (and by the reviews of my test eaters, successful).  I'm going to push my culinary limits, improve my knife skills and get ready for the next opportunity.  I can't sit back waiting for it to come to me, so I sure as hell will prepare myself to go to it and seize the next possibility that comes along.


hydra said...

That job can't have been right for you or you would have got it. You are such an amazing writer. Ever thought of doing a counselling/psychotherapy course and writing wise words to help people? You have such insight, Perovskia. You could help so many people.

Perovskia said...

Hey Hydra, sorry I'm late responding. Thanks for your kind words; they're encouraging. I did have an interest and took Psychology for a bit in college, but never stayed in it. xx

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