The Dietitian

I've kind of been avoiding writing this post; it just brings up the feelings of frustration that engulfed me Thursday morning.  I'm not quite sure where to start.

I was received promptly, and she knows of course from the referral I'm there for managing my IBS via dietary means; weight, we discussed, will be a secondary focus.  One of the *first* things I tell her is that I have a nutrition background, so she doesn't have to "spell things out" for me, per se, like she would for most people.  I'm not sure that was well received.  She gives me a handout on foods and groups of foods to avoid for people with IBS.  I'm thinking in the back of my head, "Why are you giving this to me?  I KNOW all of this."  But maybe she has to, so I keep my mouth shut and play along.  She asked what my food triggers were (she almost seemed surprised that I knew these), medications I'm on and other secondary health issues.  Naturally, being a Canadian-certified Dietitian, she was a firm believer in Canada's Food Guide, which she also promptly put in front of me (I'm trying to count how many copies I have of this now).  I also have, what I can best presume to be an activity guide (how to get more exercise), but I refuse to look at it seeing as I told her I was active in some form or another 5-7 days a week.  Also, expending large amounts of energy is difficult for me per my sugar.

Anyways... she also gave me a handout on foods in different categories and their serving size.  I was also given sheets to record, for the next 4 weeks, food intake and subsequent reactions.  Basically it's an elimination diet (which I've also done in a light, varying form).  Then I was just told to go with said information, follow up in 4 weeks and that's it.

Really?

.... Really?

She asked me at the end if all this was "okay" and I spoke up.  "No, it's not.  I need more guidance than that."  Well, at that point it was the end of the appointment.  As it was, we went 10 min over.  I asked her if she would create an example of a one-week meal plan.  She said she usually doesn't do that as people don't often like all the foods on it (really? I think we could work together on that) and people get "stuck".  Listen, I can't apply a change of diet without some assistance of application.

I'm frustrated because there was no inquiry or discussion of my lifestyle (which greatly affects how one eats), how often I work, eating habits (telling me to eat a 'balanced dinner' every night is a moot point; I'm not going to eat a full meal at 8pm when I have to be in bed for 9), how to incorporate eating to fit my other health concerns (other than eating "every 2 hours".  Yeah, I know that, thanks).  Just.. it was a complete fail.

I'm not saying I don't have things to learn from her, but I think she went in with an agenda (a poor one at that, but who am I to judge), I went in with high expectations (an after having witnessed some great dietitians at the hospital) and came out on a low.  I'm trying to think of how to best approach her to be more productive.  I know dietitians are capable of so much more, so, I don't know.

Anyways, I've gone on enough.  That's it.

Quotes

If you do not like a certain behaviour in others, look within yourself to find the roots of what discomforts you.
~ Bryant McGill

Today's Excerpt

I have been meaning to write for a while, but life has been so busy so bear with me.  Instead of writing about the things I've wanted to write about, I'm going to share a fraction of my day with you instead.

I was doing a walk-about mid-shift; killing time, checking to see who's around, also planned to stop to talk to someone.  When talking with this person, there was some yelling in the background, in the same unit.  This patient was quite vocal and I'd say bordering on violent.

The yelling continued (it was a little difficult to converse with my person, it was getting quite loud).  Said person informed me this patient had brain damage; they were in a vehicle accident.  My person informed me of their previous occupation (healthcare, to be vague) and how it was sad to see two different, very extremes of a person.  We also discussed how it's frustrating when people walk by giving dirty looks, not for a minute thinking about the person, the human and the story behind the patient (and I'm not sure to whom they were referring to; staff, visitors, other patients, etc).

So that was my re-lesson and my wake-up call today.  Life is precious.  You never know what's around the next corner.  It was humbling for me to remember in a job that I feel I'm in a stalemate with, the stories behind the faces I serve every day.

It reminded me why I'm here.

Health Stuffs

I have a lot to catch up on, and no time to do it.  I can haz more time nao, plz?

I had my 3-month check-in with the G.I last week and I felt really good coming out of that visit.  The meds I'm on are helping more than they're not (the lack of perfection and minor side-effects are tolerable).  We discussed the possibility of using an antibiotic that's specially geared to targeting certain bacteria in the gut and rids of it.  I've heard about this before and was both intrigued and cautious.  He gave me a script for it but I want to do more research before I take it (for 10 days).  I'm very, very leery; I work in an environment that is plagued by various diseases and illnesses, but the most highly publicized C. diff recently.  I DON'T want ANY chance of getting that - I couldn't handle it on top of my already-occurring condition.  I'd have to be diligent with hand-hygiene, but at the same time we're human and things are or can be missed.  I would take a high-strength probiotic which would help a lot.  I wouldn't take it without it.  I expressed my concerns with the pharmacist and he understood what I was asking but had no concerns, citing this is one of the antibiotics with the least-range of side-effects, and how often this particular antibiotic is prescribed.  (Well duh, how the hell do you think C. diff is acquired? *smacks hand to forehead*)

Anyways, he gave me the prescription, knowing I prefer not to medicate (I agreed).  He spoke about how studies are being done the past few months and they're not quite sure how long to take it.  People will take it, they'll get better, they'll stop said med, and get worse again.  Well, with an antibiotic you can't keep taking it.  Heavens, it can't be good for the body.  So I don't quite understand that.  I'm still doing my research.  Then he says at the end, "Would you like to meet with a Dietitian?"  I exclaim with a boyant, "HELL YES!".  Pfft.. he kept talking after that and I wasn't even listening.  All I said was, "You don't have to ask twice".

Sigh.  It's all I ever wanted.

I also thought I'd have to wait forever for it.  Nope.  Just a week and some.  I can't wait.  Prayers have been answered. So we exited the appointment with a few laughs and I was on my way.  I'm lucky that he's so personable and easy to talk to.  I lucked out, there.

So... I don't think there's much else, health-wise, anyways.

Another Quote..

Quotes

"Every person was born beautiful.  Every person's true identity is beautiful, and any ugliness was put inside of you, by forces outside of yourself.  Remember you are beautiful!"
~ Bryant McGill

Maybe It's Time

So yesterday morning I woke up with a sore shoulder;  I thought maybe I slept on it wrong.  I'd felt a dull, tense ache build up over the past couple days, but I was hoping it would go away, or stay a dull ache at best.  Went to market in the morning, came back and *poof*, the pain increased times ten.  Debilitating.  I can take a lot (a LOT) of internal pain, but this was halting me in my tracks.  I couldn't do anything without screaming in pain; reaching for something, turning, breathing, and forget bending down.  Basic everyday motions.  I tried ibuprofen and when I was ready for a miracle, alternating hot and cold compresses (as touching it produced even more pain).  The compresses helped a bit and made it somewhat manageable before I went out again that afternoon - moving very slowly wherever I went.  I ingested 800mg (yes, you read right) of ibuprofen (actually about 1000mg within a 2-hr time span) and that only made the pain tolerable.  It was hard to accept that 'sleeping on it wrong' would produce so much pain.

Let me preface this story by saying the past week was a bit of an emotional one.  Sort of 'debilitating' in it's own right. I've been extremely hard on myself about my self-image, the realism of my self-worth (what I see and what you see are two different things, but I'm trying to get up to par with you), but the weight I've gained (from meds?) has been bringing me down the most.  I'm really starting to notice it and be affected by it; the way my clothes fit (or don't anymore), the change in body shape (where it's the most predominant), the difference in my face, my hands.  So, so self-critical.  Every single woman I see, be it friend, co-worker or a stranger, I dissect.  I compare her body to mine, and how much more thin she is than me.  A lot of negative self-talk is going on.  Healthy?  God no.  But I can almost bet I'm not alone (which doesn't at all make it right).  We all have parts of us that we don't like and are critical of.  Where you think your hands are thin and scrawny, others might see the ability or agility to play an instrument.  Where you think you might have too much in the hips, will be a man who can't wait to wrap his hands around them and pull them close.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so why can't we behold a better image of ourselves?  European women are much more comfortable with their self-image, no matter what it is, so I don't know why us North Americans need to butcher ourselves so much (and each other, for that fact); but that's a comparison/rant for another day.

So anyways, all this reflection was caused this morning when a close friend suggested I might need to go a little more easy on myself (citing the belief that mental dis-ease manifests as physical dis-ease, to which I agree).  Aye.  Maybe.  Whenever we have shoulder/upper back pain, it's akin to a "get off my back" mentality.  So maybe she's right and maybe I need to practice a little self-care today and be a little more easy on myself.  Talking about it here has helped and some tension has eased.  When the meds wear off, we'll see how much.  (Mental note: don't take 2 Robaxacet & 1 Advil on an empty stomach; it produces drunk-like vision and alertness as I was much amusement to Life Resident today over breakfast :) ).

Well look at that... as I sign off, most of my tension and some pain has gone away.  I still hurt a bit when I breathe (lungs expand, pressing on the shoulder blade), but not as bad as before.

Thanks for listening :)

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Sigh...

And then there were none.