Appearances

Yeah... so... hi.

Been a while, I know.  I think this is how it's going to be for a while.  I apologize in advance.  My distractions have been elsewhere and I hope to do a bit of explaining just where they've been.  I'm quite tired though (is it sad I'm this tired at 8:30 at night?), so forgive me for keeping this short.

My new love is treating me well.  So well, that it's most of the reason I haven't been here to talk to you.  We are in a habit now of Skype'ing every night (which is a luxury I'm daily thankful for), for either an hour.. or four.  It's nice and it makes me happy :)  Every day I'm learning something about him and it makes me smile.  I'm a very lucky girl to find someone so understanding, patient and loving.  It's nice to be accepted *with* your faults (not despite them) and encouraged to grow in them.  Yup, he's a special one.  I still don't want to say too much publicly for now, but all you need to know is things are going very, very well :)

Which is why I'm tired at night and shut down early.  After our talks (which can end anywhere from 5:30pm to 8-8:30) I'm done.  I've committed energy to Skype'ing which is a bit more involved than an actual in-person visit because special attention is given to shitty connections (across an ocean, of course) and making sure you hear everything the other says, if not repeat.  We also talk about a lot of in-depth things, so that also takes attention.  So after our calls, I don't feel like doing much else.  He's gone to bed (he's 6 hrs ahead) and I have an hour or three to get my stuff together for the next day.  Which means not writing you here :(  But I haven't forgotten about you!  I promise I'll write anytime something comes up.

Like bake sales!

I'm entering yet another table at work of my baked goods.  It's an annual November Fair we have that's mostly a craft show, but some people put in food items.  I'm stressing with what to make, how much to make (it's very high traffic).  I have a good idea, but not everything is finalized and it's driving my OCD a bit nuts.  I know I'm a last-minute person, but this is crazy.  Anyways, the sale is this Friday (eek!) so wish me luck!!

I started the fourth season of Doctor Who (newer series; the tenth Doctor) tonight.  Exciting :)  Enter: Donna.

Can't think of much else to tell you.  Babu is doing well and driving me nuts on a daily basis.  I've been mostly healthy aside from usual tummy-troubles made worse from a virus a couple months ago.  When you already have a weak system, it takes so long to bounce back from something like that.  I'm almost ready to throw in the towel.  Dude, if you have a healthy digestive system...BE THANKFUL.

I hope everyone is doing well.  I think of you, even if we haven't spoken in a while.  Once the craziness subsides, I will be in touch.  These days, I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and it's almost getting to be a little too much, yet I can't think of a way ahead or how to dig my way out.  I said last Christmas winter will quiet down and I'll finally be able to get to mundane things that I once liked doing.  So far?  It hasn't stopped.    In a year.  Is this how life is now?  Where did I go wrong?  Did I go wrong?  How have I committed myself in so many ways that I'm leaving nothing left for...nothing?

*faint*

That's what tonight was for; Doctor Who lets me chill out for an hour.  Did I feel guilty the entire time because I know there's things I need to be doing?  Absolutely.  And I ignored it, cause, I need to stay sane, yo.  So.. I chilled.

Me, lately, in a nutshell.

P.S - How have I not had a Doctor Who tag?!  Now, a Doctor Who tag.  Just 'cause.

Quotes

"I walked along the edge of the lake and was treated to the crunch and rustle of the leaves... The acoustics of this season are different and all sounds, no matter how hushed, are as crisp as autumn air."
~ Eric Sloane

Quotes

Overheard when I was in a diner the other day.  A sign?

"Don't look hard for an answer when a simple one is available."

Farmer's Market to... Pastry Chef?

Well, I'm happy to report today was a success.

....At least, as far as successes go.  I count anything as a profit a success, so by my standards, I wasn't asking much.  Whatever I made I considered a bonus; I'm doing what I enjoy.  Now, I was anxious as hell for getting my baking out in the public for the first time, I'm not gonna lie.  You know when things just sort of...roll in succession and happen naturally and fall into place?  That's what this was.  It was suggested I put in a table, I automatically made business cards without thinking much about it and baked my ass off for 3 days.  I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about things or deliberating if this is what I should do.

Now, having said that, I know what I would do differently next time.  I need to get on the ball more and I'd make a few changes.. but that's a learned experience and all hindsight now.  I'm making notes for next time (I need a designated notebook!).

The weather was.. tolerable.  It was drizzly today and damp - so the girls and I were a bit chilled to the bone.  I should have a bath tonight; that's a sure remedy.

There were 2 girls at a table next to me who took care of the produce (there was a lot!) and they were super nice.  In fact, one of them is a manager at a boutique grocer down the street and suggested I look into getting my product in there (did I just hear myself say someone wanted me to sell my stuff in a store.. professionally?).  I'll keep her as a contact.  Also, the manager for the cafeteria in the hospital would like to sell my items at Christmas (wow!), but we're not sure if that's feasible yet.  I'm not a registered business for all this so it poses problems - but not impossible ones.

I sit back and look at my life as it stands and... I'm so happy and so thankful.  You and I know I've wanted things to turn around for a long time now.  And if you really know about things, you know I worked hard for this and it's about damn time.  I don't feel bad saying I deserve this (something I never would have been able to say in the past; I was a different person then).

How do I feel now besides happy?  Tired as hell.  I'm exhausted.  I can barely keep my head upright.  Baking over a hot oven for 3 days and socializing for one & trying to make an adequate impression and future contacts, takes a lot out of a girl.  And apparently I'm doing this again in November!?!

Well, I'm going to take a night for myself and get to bed early (back to reality - work!).  I can't leave without saying thanks to you for all your support.  And you know I can't leave without thanking the Big Guy upstairs.  Last but never least, W.; I hate to sound cliche but my rock and my strength.  Without your love and support (and endless patience for my craziness; God love you) I wouldn't have had the strength for today.  You are my life.

It's Heeeeere... (Farmer's Market)

Hey folks.  Sorry I've been AWOL; life is changing pace and I'm doing my best to keep up.  My attention these days lies elsewhere (the new love is treating me very well, btw; I couldn't be happier!) and I'm doing my best to balance everything.

Well, that time went by fast, didn't it?  This coming Wednesday is the Farmer's Market we're holding at work.  Turns out there's not many of us, only 3 or so tables (but they're very large tables) and I was not quite volentold.. but.. coerced into putting my baking for sale (it turns out it didn't need much arm twisting).  I decided to go for it and put any sales towards my Europe Fund, as stated.  What the hell, right?

Well, it's caused me a bit of stress.  First I messed up the days and got that wrong, so it took 2 days off of planning that out (same questions as before; what will I make?  Will I have enough variety?  Will I produce enough?)... and ever since last night, I've been baking when I'm not at work.  Thankfully I have tomorrow off, so I will finish it all up then.  Oh right, and I'm entering my French baking and gluten-free baking as previously decided.  I've never put my baking out in public before, so I'm very anxious.  It's one thing to please friends, it's another to please a stranger.  But.. we'll see what happens.  Think positive!

Well, I'm going to keep this short cause um... time is money.  I need to clean up between cookies in the oven and I might even refrigerate some dough and do the rest in the morning.  I'll keep you posted!