There Was A Shift In The Universe

Ahh... the hell that was the past week is over and it's time to start fresh.

Yesterday I said goodbye to my guy of 4.5 years.  Our relationship was patchy at best and he'd always promised the world but never delivered it.  There is a gamut of things I could list here (including that he was military and was always away) that were wrong but I don't really care to go into it.  It was time to let go and I feel very much a sense of peace about things.  Like, God finally flipped on the switch and let me see things as they are.  I have no anger, no resentment.  Besides, I was given the grace to see it from all sides; those 4.5 years may have been hard for me, but maybe I needed to be there for him because he needed me more.  More than he ever told me.  I'd suspected after a few years I was his angel.  There were some really, really hard times and I was always there for him when he needed someone.  Anyways, regardless how at peace I feel about things I'm still sad.  We had so much potential.  In the end, though, I'm learning I'm worth so much more.

I no longer feel awkward.