I sit here on a Sunday night. A couple of low lights on, no electronics, so it's quiet. It's about my bedtime, but I know if I lay down I won't be able to sleep, so I thought I would talk about a few things on my mind that have been stirring for a while. I finished my second assignment, by the way, which is why you see me here :) But it won't be long before I'll be back at it again (tomorrow).
I've been highly sensitive lately. I suppose that comes with clearing out some old ghosts and making room for new. With all the 'growing pains' that have happened the last couple weeks, I think things are starting to bring about an even keel again but now I'm left feeling...... well, I can't quite think of the word. I'm over-reacting (in my head) to simple things people are saying to me. Even random everyday shit. I mean, yes, it's personal and directed at me, but I'm pretty sure it's not inflicted as I'm taking it. So this causes more stepping back and.... maybe not even analyzing this time. Maybe just.. stepping back. Sit in the quiet. Let things work out on their own. I know it'll pass. It's funny; the older I get the more I have patience for things, or the more I have acceptance of things (read: less OCD and control-freakish). I suppose this is normal. Perhaps I won't use the word "old", it kinda freaks me out (when I say a little I mean a lot). We'll say.... maturing. Feeling a little lonely tonight and a lot cuddlish as I think about sitting back and letting life pass by a little.
Oh yeah, coffee guy.. not so significant anymore. Which is to say, he was, but it's passed.
Speaking of which, heard from the past last week. It was good.
Well, I've been continuing to cut down on my sugar. Hydra, have you been doing the same, as you've suggested?? What will I try to cut next? Self-perception (and feel) of body image continues to be tremendously poor. More work to be done.
Oh, having two visits by two out-of-town friends this week. Really looking forward to that.
I don't want to talk about work. I'm leaving work behind tonight.
Well, I guess I don't really have much else to talk about. I really am tired and should get some sleep tonight.
Oh! I was given some basic music/singing lessons this weekend by a professional? Semi-professional? I'm not sure what you'd call her. Anyways, they helped! I sung better this morning. And I think our choir sounded REALLY good today. Strong. It was nice. I controlled my breathing a lot better and sang a bit stronger.
Having a dinner party this coming weekend, with only a confirmed 2 guests (oh, btw CZ, I'm hosting; but we'll talk). Small is good (and comfortable), but I was hoping for a little more.
Alright. I'm tired. My body won. I hope everyone had a great weekend!
P.S - If you're subscribed via email, you may see there's been edits to past posts. You can more than likely ignore these, I might just be adding/editing tags/labels. Thanks :)