The Insides Coming Out

So I've had a lot to deal with the past couple weeks. Let me delve into some of it...

I'm still doing a lot of thinking over a conversation with a friend a couple days ago. I think I know why I'm bothered by it and I'll approach her with it and we'll talk it out. This is someone who hasn't let me down; she's been a great friend. Even though we have a strong difference of opinion sometimes, she's assured me she's not going to become any less a friend because of it. Who'd a thunk.. more maturity I've seen from someone 10 yrs my junior, than I've seen inpeople my age or older.

Which leads me into losing a friend. This made me sad, because it was one-sided. But what bothered me about this person was that they didn't feel they could talk to me about what was wrong. It was easier for me to walk away, therefore, because I knew this person didn't respect me enough to talk to me as a simple human being. So I lost respect for them.

I'm still volunteering. Did I mention I was volunteering? At this retirement home behind me. It's going well :) I like old folks. Some of them just have a fantastic sense of humour. They appreciate having me at the home, too (the workers). We all get along really well. There's something that wants to keep part of me at a distance, though, and I'm not sure what (or why).

Ran into one of my regular patients' visitors (who's no longer at the hospital) at a restaurant, post-Mass. She informed me said ex-patient isn't doing well. This made me sad. I also have a couple of patients that are palliative so it'll be unfortunate as well when they go. I see their family, though, and they're so strong. They just try to make the patient so comfortable and never leave their side. It's touching.

Speaking of work, I learned something new this weekend; how to say "you're welcome" in sign language. I have a patient who's deaf (born deaf, lost sight 13 yrs ago) and his daughter and I 'talked' (she's also deaf). Okay, so it was mostly about his diet, but it was a very animated conversation :) (with the help of my pen and paper and her blackberry). And this man is so sweet, always smiling or chuckling. I just wanna squeeze him like a teddy bear.

Well, I think that about calls it a wrap. There's other stuff, but it's highly personal and not suited for the interwebs. Hope y'all had a great weekend!

Procrastination

Every day I mean to write and every day I put it off. I've been keeping my thoughts in my head and haven't been letting them out.

I'm a little down today so I'm not going to write much. Had a conversation with a friend yesterday that still has me thinking. I'm probably a little down from said conversation. Lets just say I've been challenged.

Well, work soon. The Santa Claus parade is going by and I hope I can cross the street on my walk to work. It's starting to die down, so maybe Santa's passed already. *hears more bands* But then, I could be wrong.

I wish I could just stay in today and curl up with a movie. Ah well...

Quotes

The future starts today, not tomorrow.

~ Pope John Paul II

Family Reprieve

I've got a LOT to write about. I'm going to break it down into different posts, though, as not to overwhelm anyone. It'll keep comments, if any, easier as well.

Where do I start. Well, today is the last day of my 4 days off. It's been glorious. I got a lot of studying done, which was sorely needed. I think my brain is about to explode, though. I got some family time in (I'll expand on this later), social time with friends and personal quiet time. People should be allowed to take 4 days off more often. Hell, even 3 (did you know they were talking about that for Canada? I kid you not. Some states already do it and I guess we've been entertaining the idea).

Time with my parents yesterday was enjoyable. Dad dropped me off at the restaurant (they own) and I did some prep. I don't think I've cut so many mushrooms and onions at one time in my life (and oh, the tears!). Went and played tourist (it's a very small, tourist-y town) and went shopping. Bought a pashmina. A pink one. Anyone who knows me knows I don't do pink ("Step out of your 'box'," the lady says). And I hate even more that it looks fabulous. Really brings out my skin tone :) I'm a girl. Who knew.

Anyhoo... Dad came to pick me up from the restaurant around 17:30 and we went back to the house, had a couple beers. Went out to the shop and talked about his bike (Harley) and how he welded a piece to affix to the bike for luggage (he's a freaking genius), looked at the cabinets he's making for the kitchen (again, a genius). Went in the house and hung out till F. got home, with pizza.. mmm (and naturally, more beer). Then we got talking about the deep stuff. I discussed with them the therapy I had earlier this year and what came of it. I told them about abuse I suffered when I was younger that they never knew about (my parents are divorced and I grew up in 2 different households). Discussed with them about relationships, past and present. And I just want to say.. I'm very thankful to have very patient, very understanding and very compassionate parents. Life sucked when I was younger, but we're making up for it now.

I was taken home, I checked messages, talked to a friend and hit the pillow at 23:30 (I was up at 07:30 that morning). I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I slept 10 hrs straight. It was fantastic.

Today I met up with a girlfriend for lunch. Went to a high-end restaurant down the street that was having a lunch special. It was fantastic. We even had a 'lil bubbly :)

Well, that about wraps it up today. Hope everyone is having a good week.

This is my Babu. A very, at the time, unimpressed Babu. I don't know what his problem was, though I'm sure he had his own reasons.

Babbling

Well, they're not enforcing masks for visitors anymore at the hospital. We're starting to run out :P

Had a girly-day today. Went to the salon to get my hair done by Michael. God, he's a genius. I love him. Cut about 4-5 inches off. Eyebrows waxed. Got pampered for an hour. Good to go. Is there a special occasion, you ask? Perhaps...

Went to the chiropractor before that. My rib went out again. Yes, you heard me. Rib. It's a 'thing' I do. *shrug* Anyways, I should have known. I had a near panic-attack yesterday and that's usually a by-product. My heart beats just go absolutely out of control.

Other than that, I picked up a shift so I'll be working tonight. Hopefully it's quiet.

I get to see my dad (whom I don't get to see often) on Monday, so I'm looking forward to that. We're spending the entire day together :) We have a lot to catch up on. Which reminds me, I'll have to ask how his health is (he was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year).

I need chocolate. Must have chocolate.

Well, I'm out of babble for right now. Hope everyone is having a great Friday!

Uneasy Times. Work Babble...

Strict times call for more strict measures. We received an email at work today detailing the new visitor policy. As follows....

"We are tightening our visitor policy due to the large amounts of illness in the community at this time and the high possibility some visitors are contagious but don't know it. As a result, starting today, Nov. 4, all visitors must wear surgical masks when visiting and no visitors under the age of 12 are allowed. This is just the first step in introducing more restrictions on our visitors to help protect both patients and staff.

The next step begins Nov. 10, when each patient will be asked to designate only two people who can visit during the length of his or her hospital stay. Two wristbands will be supplied to each patient and visitors must be wearing wristbands in order to enter a Unit and only then during visiting hours of 2pm-8pm. Some exceptions will be made for compassionate reasons."

I have to be honest; they're not bad policies. Strict. But not bad. All we have to do is wait for the zombie outbreak *smirk*. If anyone knows of similar policies going on, wherever you are, I would love to hear them.

A friend of mine received the shot a couple days ago and didn't feel well after at all. Weak, dizzy and had to go home from work. She says never again. So we each have our own individual reaction.

We're working VERY short at the hospital. In my department, at least. We worked short tonight, but somehow we pulled through. Hate working short all the time. It's starting to ruffle my feathers. I'd better stop before I get into a work gripe.

Unrelated, two very odd things happened to me the other night at work. One I don't feel comfortable talking about here (and I'm still partly uneasy about it). I'm going to let some time pass on that one first. But I got to witness my second seizure. Scary stuff. I was just delivering dinner and one of my patients started a seizure. Thankfully a nurse was just around the corner, so I grabbed her. She started doing her thing. I asked her if there was anything else I could do and she said to grab another nurse. Naturally, none are in the hall when you need 'em, so I had to run down all the way to the nurses station. Told 2 nurses there and they went running. I didn't know Valium (5mg in this case) was administered during a seizure, so that was interesting. Watched that for a bit, cause, yeah. Seizures are a scary thing, the way the body just completely takes over. It's fascinating.

Ahh.. life and times at a hospital...

Quotes

One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other’s stories. ~Rebecca Falls

Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and good things will be yours ~Swedish Proverb

Bjorkestra

To Bjork fans: CBC mentions Bjork's music being covered by an orchestra and/or jazz bands. You can hear it here. Listen with an open mind. Some songs I couldn't get used to, some I really enjoyed.

Enjoy :)

Animal Farm - So Far

Animal Farm has been quite an interesting read in respects to human behaviour (well, animals, but you all get the pretext). You can see right away that Orwell hates totalitarianism (get rid of the human running the farm) and to question authority. When they get rid of Jones (the farmer), the pigs set up a new system and at first, it's a diplomatic society. Decisions are made and then voted on as a group. But oddly, one pig leader (Naploeon) feels intimidated, I believe, by the smarts of another pig leader (Snowball) and ousts him. He ends up creating a dictatorship (hungry from power?), what they were trying to avoid in the first place.

Napoleon manipulates his people with lies about the previous leader, twists past occurrences to look in his favour. Over-works and under-feeds the other animals. Runs them ragged, but they keep working our of manipulation and fear.

It's then found some of the other animals have been in contact with Snowball and when Napoleon finds out he holds a group meeting to discover all who have done this. The animals, one by one, admit to having said contact and are martyred on the spot. There's this huge slaughter. Any remaining animals depart and they're very sad and depressed. Morale is low. They continue to question the authority.

We all question authority at some point, don't we?