A Quiet Winter Walk

This was the view from the footbridge I take on my travels to work/home from work.  This was Friday.  The snow was falling straight down like rain, but ever so softly.  It muted all the sounds around you.  I love winter days like this.

Argh..

I've had to change my Comments Settings.  I've had an internet troll buzz around for a while and it's starting to piss me off.  I thought about activating it so you'd have to enter word verification for each comment, but I find that's bothersome to the commenter (the true ones, at least. I'm sure it may get rid of the troll).  So I'll just review comments as they come in before posting.

Can't write much these days.. I'm on strict modifications per physio - includes no typing.  So I'm keeping things brief.  Will try to write again soon, though :)

Something Occurred To Me

Something randomly occurred to me today.  It goes along the lines of the, 'everything happens for a reason' theory.

I have problems asking for help.  Especially at work.  I've perfected the floor I'm on (the busiest of the 3) to be the fastest, most efficient person on it - because I never ask for help.  I do it all on my own.  I have a lot of pride; is that a sin? (Don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question..heh).  Even when I get busy, I wait until the last minute when things are piled up to ask for help (which is a little wrong. I should be asking for it earlier).  I'm stubborn, what can I say.  Anyways, with this whole.. arm incident thing.. I'm *forced* to ask for help.  I can't do everything on my own.  So life is teaching me a lesson.

I thought that was interesting.

Quotes

Sometimes I wonder if men and women are suited for each other.  Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
~ Katherine Hepburn

Saturday Ramble Pt. II

Well... I'm at my parents restaurant killing time.  I can't help because of my arm. I tried chopping an onion and that was enough for me.  So I'm bored.  There's only so much standing, watching, being-in-the-way one can do.  What else is there to do but peruse the internet?  So I'm hiding in the office.  My brother was kind enough to pick me up this afternoon so we could 'hang' and I'm staying here for the duration of his shift.  I could go back to his place, but.. meh.  Maybe.  It's still early-ish.

When I first got here, I did some window shopping.  It's a small tourist town with a lot of quaint shops and I was finally able to get into some stores I missed last time I was here.  Went to a French-based store (everything's from France) and I fell in love with a Provencal tablecloth. *sigh* I picked up a pashmina for a friend as she fell in love with mine.  Shh.. it's a secret.  :)  Also picked up a new kitchen utensil - a whisk.  A flat one, good for whisking eggs, etc.

Which reminds me!  In this kitchen store which my parents supply from all the time, the man was trying to sell me a copper bowl.  Apparently "magic happens" when eggs are used in copper bowls.  My step-mother confirmed this (the chef of the family) saying it was age-old wisdom.  Well.. where the hell have I been?  I didn't know this.  Oh.. did I mention the bowl was $240.  Pfft.  Anyways, I am curious about this now, and will do further research (something about the alchemy between the copper and the egg whites?).  Has anyone had experience with this?

I've been since told by my brother I'm staying the night.  "But I don't have a brush! (grabbing my hair) or my toothbrush!!"  "Rough it," he says.  Lord.  I said, "I'm not in high school anymore".  All I got was an unsympathetic, "So?".   So apparently I'm 'roughing it'... finding a church service to go to in the morning (conveniently a short walk from his house) and we will come back to the restaurant for brunch.  Mmmm... more fooooood.

I'm bloody tired.  Have been since I woke up.  And now I'm up extra early for Mass in the morning.  Hmm.. it's a good thing Babu has a full food and water dish.

Well, I'm going to see if I can't make myself useful, even if to just dry glasses...

Saturday Ramble

Oye.  When I went to the salon this morning to get my eyebrows done, my usual girl wasn't there.  Another girl greeted me to tell me it was "a slow day" and because she "has to drive in" she called in her shift.  "No one called me," I said.  The girl was nice enough about it and gave me the option to back out (she wouldn't be in till next Thurs) or I could use her.  I stood and thought about it; if I waited till next Thurs, I'd be hairy-bushwoman.  Or I could get them cleaned up and visit T. again when she's in, perhaps waiting less time than I usually do.  I bit the bullet and kept the app't.  It just wasn't the same, though.  There was no 'dishing' of girl gossip.  T. knows how my eyebrows are shaped and uses little tweezing to do it (not today - ouch!).  So I made a passing comment when I went to pay at reception that I would appreciate a call next time, as I'll only deal with T. and wouldn't have come in otherwise.  They were kind enough to make a note on my file.  Listen, don't judge.  This is the one time a month I am a gurl and indulge in something for me.  Is having my regular girl too much to ask?

My shoulder and arm is very, very sore.  That's all I have to say.

I have a three day weekend.  I'm super happy about this (more so because my arm can rest), even though I have nothing planned, which I'm a bit bummed about.  I DID have plans to have a movie date with my sister (to watch 'Julie and Julia') but she backed out.  Again.  Grr.  So I'm currently texting my brother to see if he wants to hang.  There's a specialty kitchen store in town a girlfriend and I want to check out, so might do that too.  And Mass tonight too, of course.

I've been a little lax in not keeping up with pictures for the unofficial Babu Week.  Sorry.  Things got in the way.  And well, he hasn't been that entertaining.  Clingy and needy, but not entertaining.

I think I'm done with winter.  I might pack up my snowmen *gasp*.  I long for the day I can go for a spring walk.  Open the windows and let the breeze in.

Well, here's hoping everyone has a wonderful and relaxing weekend!

More Babu

A cuddly Babu.

Health (and Gurl Stuff)

See?  I don't write for 4 days and I become a writing machine.

Health - Got a copy of my blood work I had a week or so ago.  We put me on iron supplements because my iron was a little low, for 3 months.  My ferritin only came up 5 points.  Does this seem right?  Anyone know about iron levels?  My B12 has been getting lower with each blood test; even with taking iron.  My WBC has dropped and it's also on the low side.  So... I don't know what this all means, but I'm not sure I like it.  I'm a little confused, really.

Gurl stuff - I stopped my usage of 'the pill' Sunday.  When I went to fill a prescription today for meds for my IBS, I didn't fill for my birth control.  And y'know what?  It was kinda nice.  Liberating, almost.  Not to say it isn't a little scary.  Not to have that freedom from a wild night of going bareback is a little daunting, but it just means I'm going to be most selective in my future partner(s) (which was part of the point of doing this, amongst others).  I won't be shoving hormones into my body on a daily basis anymore; that's nice, too.  My body will be taking back over in its natural cycle (not just monthly cycle, but menopause will come sooner, as it's delayed with women on the pill).  Perhaps it'll get rid of the crazies, or maybe I'll drop a few pounds or curb my chance of cancer.  Hmm... I wonder if I'll still have that weekly craving for chocolate :)

Hey, look at that, I'm growing up ;)

It Must Be Babu Week

It's a shame my (crappy, grainy phone) camera can't capture the total mood of Babu.  He had a wide-eyed look of "Mooooom, throw my toy!", sitting there wiggling his butt.  This picture doesn't do it justice.  But you can see here how fat Babu is - 15lbs!  And he's only going to be 3 in April!

Catch-Up

Sorry I've been quiet; I haven't felt much like posting lately.  The past week has been a bit stressful.  Work stuff, y'know.  So where to start....

My claim was approved by WSIB so that should make things a little easier going forward.  My arm has been killing me the past couple days so I've been very limited in my activities.  I'm starting to think I'll need something other than chiropractic to adjust my arm.  I'm going to my GP Wed., so I'll ask her to send me to physio (I've never been before).  I'll inquire about massage therapy, too (but I'll ask my chiro about that, since they're all in the same building).  With my arm being bad, we've switched me off normal duties at work (read: dinner service) and I've taken on lighter duties in lieu of.  It's caused a lot of unnecessary stress with my supervisor.  I'm not sure she likes me much anyways, we butt heads a lot, but she dished out a lot of attitude to me that I didn't appreciate.  On top of that, feeling rushed in a situation, I burned the back of my arm on the inside of our ovens (hard to explain).  Yet another incident report.  Someone just shoot me and put me out of my misery.  How's Wednesday for you?

I've taken a bit of a break from studying, but I've gotta get back at the books again.  I have to complete 2 assignments worth 50% each, so I've gotta work hard.

Oh!  The retirement home I volunteer at...wants to teach me to cook!  Maybe to help take over, if I understood correctly, when the Dietician goes on holidays.  I'm super thrilled about that.  Just means a bigger foot in the door ;)

Well, I should stop typing and relax my arm.  Might watch another episode or two of M*A*S*H (there's a marathon on TV - best. show. evar) and do some reading and head to bed.  Insomnia has been haunting me  lately, so I'm trying to catch up.

Edit: Whoops.. I saved this and forgot a couple things.

The ex wrote and wished me a Happy Valentines Day.  My heart sunk.  Aw, why'd he have to go do that?  Well, I left it alone for a bit, couldn't decide what to respond, or if I even wanted to.  In the end I decided to say, "Thank you"; I wanted to be polite, yet not encourage dialogue.  I don't hate the guy, y'know.  I'm just not ready to talk yet.  Despite wanting to write Happy Valentines in return.

My doctor is giving me a referral to a Respirologist.  Seems she didn't make the referral before when she was supposed to (3 months ago), but did last week and voila - I have a sleep study appointment.  This was news to me.  I know my doc is convinced I have sleep apnea, but I'm less inclined to believe.  Only because I'm in Denial (yes, I think I'm going to start capitalizing that stupid word).  I've done some reading and I have the symptoms.  But yes, lets deal with one thing at a time.  Denial first.  Knowledge and facts later.  The sleep study isn't until April - 3 days before my birthday.

Just For You, Bix

I caught Babu today hiding under the covers, with just his head sticking out.  He caught me sneaking a picture of him, otherwise, you can imagine him with his head sitting upon his front paws with his eyes shut trying to snooze away the afternoon.

More Stuff

Just a quick catch-up this morning.  Don't really have much to say lately.  I seem to go from one stress to another in my life.  It's like.. if everything's quiet, I almost sub-consciously create something else to have to juggle.  I can most honestly assure you I don't do it consciously.  A therapist once said to me, "Enjoy the quiet".  I'm trying!!!

I have, though, been most blessed to see my part in God's bigger plan (for one situation, anyways).  That insight was most welcome and has made me feel really positive about things and as brought me closer to Him.

I've been going through a Workers Comp claim.  If I wanted more fun than the meeting I had the other day at work, I would have asked someone to tie me up to the back of a truck, drag me 50 miles along a gravel road.  I don't like the attention, I don't like being the focus and having to explain myself, I DON'T like going up against a corporation that is bigger than me.  I hate this whole process.  But at the same time, I need to protect my arm, so I gotta suck it up and call it a learning experience.  I'm on modified duties at work; I'm not going to go into specifics here (really, I don't know if I'm allowed to expand on anything).  So the next few weeks will be interesting.  Oh, and I have to see the chiropractor 3 x week.

Well, not much more to go on about, I guess.  Week's almost over; hope it's been good for you!

I Have No Title Today

So I found the 5lbs I lost; it's on Babu.  *sigh*  Time to start cutting back his food again.

I buggered up my arm at work (pinched nerve) so there's been a WSIB (Workers Comp) claim made for it.  Actually, the claim was made without my permission and I'm a little pissed about it, but no use searing over it now, it's done.  I've never had a WSIB claim before, nor known anyone close to me who has, so I don't know protocol, what to expect, etc, so I'm a little nervous.  Having a possible meeting today with Employee Health and my supervisor(s).  That should be fun.  We'll be looking at having modified duties, to what extent, etc.  Guess they'll be looking at putting me in physio, too.  It'll be hard to step back and let someone help me with work.  I like to be very self-sufficient and pull my own weight.  So we'll see what happens.

I got one of my course midterms done last night!  I can't say how well I did on it; I have less faith than the last couple courses I've done.  Now I have to push myself to finish the second one... and I've barely finished the first chapter! (there's 5).  So this week will be interesting.  Did I mention they were due Monday?  Oh, and they have to be mailed in.

I better get at 'er...

There Was A Shift In The Universe

Ahh... the hell that was the past week is over and it's time to start fresh.

Yesterday I said goodbye to my guy of 4.5 years.  Our relationship was patchy at best and he'd always promised the world but never delivered it.  There is a gamut of things I could list here (including that he was military and was always away) that were wrong but I don't really care to go into it.  It was time to let go and I feel very much a sense of peace about things.  Like, God finally flipped on the switch and let me see things as they are.  I have no anger, no resentment.  Besides, I was given the grace to see it from all sides; those 4.5 years may have been hard for me, but maybe I needed to be there for him because he needed me more.  More than he ever told me.  I'd suspected after a few years I was his angel.  There were some really, really hard times and I was always there for him when he needed someone.  Anyways, regardless how at peace I feel about things I'm still sad.  We had so much potential.  In the end, though, I'm learning I'm worth so much more.

I no longer feel awkward.

Website

I'd like to throw your way a blog I've been following on a daily basis.  There's not much writing, mostly pictures, comics, what have you.  Very entertaining, including todays rendition of 'Caturday'.  Go check out Cat In The Bag.

Babu

Here's a picture of Babu I took yesterday.  Life's rough, y'know.

Humour

Okay, so I just stepped on the scale (I don't do this often, but I take a peek once in a blue moon).  I just lost like, 5 lbs.  Pfft.  Who's playin'?  Someone messed with my scale, didn't they...

Now if the rest of my week would go this well.... *sigh*....

Progressing Along...

Not sure where to start this post.  Had weird dreams last night.  I'd sooner not speak of them lest they come true (I'd prefer they didn't).  I'm trying to understand just what my mind was trying to manifest and why, but then, I've never been good at interpreting my own dreams.  If anyone's good at this, give me a holler.

My day off yesterday was good but I never got in any study time.  In fact, I'm having a problem studying for these two courses, so I procrastinate more (what I do best).

Downloaded some more classical pieces I like; Mozart's Symphony No. 25, Beethoven's Symphony No. 5, Bach's Cantata #208 (Was Mir Behagt), etc, etc.  I was sure I had Mozart's Symphony No. 40, but I can't seem to find it.  Regardless, this makes me happy.

Had a visit from an old friend yesterday; always a good thing.  Talked, caught up and he helped me see some insight about something which I already knew but needed to hear anyways (what are friends for).

Had an appointment with the Bishop last night.  Yeah, I thought it was a big deal, too.  He was so great to talk to, though.  I brought up a few things that were bothering me and he listened and advised.  I even brought up the veiling (he's all for it), so I have to still decide if I want to continue doing so.  It's created a bit of a ruckus in my head, so I have to let that subside first.  He has a very, "be gentle on yourself" mentality and it was very comforting (how often are we gentle on ourselves? No criticizing, no negative self-talk).  I don't think I could have spoken to a better person at the time.  And here to think I was nervous to talk to the Bishop.. *snicker*.

Remember how I said before things were changing?  Yeah, there's a shift in the universe and I'm still trying to find my place in it.  My old 'brutish' (direct, forthright) ways are harder to put into use.  The Bishop says I'm developing a "sensitive conscience".  Ugh.  I'm becoming a softy.  This is not what I had in mind.  I knew it was coming, but I was happy floating in the river Denial (is that the saying?).  Is this what getting older does?  Can I take a pass?  Okay, okay,  I'll accept it.  I wonder if this is what I've been battling with, with my awkwardness.  Fighting the past, as it were.

It won't stop snowing, but it's very light snow and we have maybe an inch or so covering the ground.  Back to work today, day one of six.  Shoot; I keep forgetting to put in my remaining vacation time (until end of March).  I'd best plan that today.

Hope everyone's having a good week.

Quotes

Why do you hasten to remove anything which hurts your eye, while if something affects your soul you postpone the cure until the next year?
~ Horace, Roman poet, 1st century, B.C 

My Weekend

What a relaxing weekend.  I haven't had one this nice, I think, for a long time.

Saturday - Slept in since I had a bit of insomnia the night before.  A friend and I (we'll call her C.Z) went to the city's Organic Conference.  We planned to originally go to a workshop and listen to someone speak, but ended up just touring and looking at all the booths.  I brought home a lot of literature.  There's an organic wine I found I wouldn't mind trying.  Talked about how I don't like chardonnay (never have), but he (the owner) thinks I don't like warm-climate chardonnays and suggested I try a cold-climate one (his).  He's got the challenge, I told him.  I'm looking forward to trying it (I'm a merlot, girl, myself).  Anyhoo, walked about, came across the Canadian Biotechnology Action Network (cban) who are advocating against Monsanto GE'd food (I'm going to get into this in another post).  I was happy to pick up a ready-written, no-postage-needed postcard where I just sign my name and it gets sent to our Minister of Health.

Went to Mass, but went to Confession first.  Gah.  It went well, then it didn't go well.  All I can say is after my confessions, I had a brief discussion with my priest about my veiling (I wear a veil to church and have just the last few months; there's a long story behind this).  He's not in favour of it at all, and expressed without saying as much, his disinterest of it (I'm not sure of his spiritual, political or personal reasons for this).  And he did it in a very, 'pshaw', 'pfft' sort of way; completely disrespectful.  In a Confessional, this is not acceptable protocol to me and I was upset and couldn't concentrate the rest of Mass.  That being said, I may be taking something too personally that I don't need to. In that I mean, I don't know *why* I'm veiling.  Sounds silly, I know.  I felt I was called to, I had an experience, it served its purpose..now it's just..habit.  *sigh*  I know this is difficult if you don't understand the concept of veiling (or if you're under 50, quite honestly), so this is just babble.  Oh, want some irony?  For my penance, I was told to pray for Haiti.  I know God was looking down, laughing.

Anyways, after Mass, had some retail therapy.  I bought 2 great new tops and a new cell phone *cough*.  I didn't like the company I was with (Virgin), they had their 3 strikes and I'm back with Telus where I'm happyyyy :)  So I've been playing with my new toy.

Sunday - Today has been *fabulous*.  Woke up a little early to have breakfast (pancakes, coffee, o.j) ready for C.Z at 10am (she was cantor at both Masses this morning; this was the break between the two).  Had a wonderful, yet brief breakfast with lots of talk.  She left and I got some cleaning and studying done.  Then the afternoon just went sooooo sloooooow.  It was kind of nice.  I'm tired as hell, though, from waking up early, so I suspect I'll be going to bed shortly after my show tonight.

In fact, I think I'm going to slip in an hour of studying before Iron Chef America comes on (Bobby Flay is battling Michael Smith!  Smith better win or I might have to cry a little).

Hope everyone had a GREAT (and warm!) weekend!

P.S - I'm still feeling awkward.