Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I Wish I Didn't Have To Publicize This...

You know, I hate that I'm hurting.  I feel this literal, physical void in the centre of my being and I want to hunch over in hurt.  Things with JC have taken a turn (a few days ago) and I thought I was on the road to resolving it with myself, but, I see that I am no further ahead.  I hate that it bothers me.  I hate that I'm blaming myself so much.  I hate that I am in tune with things, with myself, with the universe...how I've been shown how things are meant to be, yet I can't voice it because it would scare him off even further (would he even be able to trust my 'sight'?).  Being in tune can be a blessing, but in times like this it's a curse.

I have an energy about me the past couple days that has been a nuisance.  It's like every molecule and cell is lit with electricity.  I'm fidgety.  I start working on one thing, then get up and work on something else.  I have no peace.

Babu is snoring.  Perhaps I should join him.

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