A Little Calmer

Warning: language, again (sorry; it's brief though, I promise) :)

So.. a little more calmer about things now, though I'm not sure I'm any less upset.  I've just sort of gone to 'not caring' and riding each day out until Christmas is bloody well over with.  Sounds depressing, doesn't it?  I have to 'shut off' to some extent in order to survive the holiday.

Some don't understand the need to be with family this time of year.  And it might not be everyone's thing.  Maybe some people enjoy spending the holidays alone; using it as a bit of solace and downtime.  I can't.  I need to be around people.  I don't know why; all I can say is it's an innate feeling I've had, for forever and I don't think I need to apologize for it.  It's something I don't care about figuring out or questioning why.  It's just there.  I don't use it to find reason to enjoy my quiet time because I have quiet time the other 364 days of the year.  Thankfully, I find a lot of solace at church with so much going on this time of year, so I'm there a lot to fill the void.  Or at least, as much as I can be with Masses/work schedule.  As it is I'll have to sing at midnight Mass and I'm trying to figure out how to stay up for that one :)  I'll have to have a nap beforehand because there's no other way I'll be able to survive.

I got Babu an early Christmas gift - a scratching post.  It's not the caliber and quality I wanted to get, but, well, it was on sale :)  He likes it and uses it often.  I think my furniture is happy.

I feel something starting in my throat.  Not cool.

Haha.. I've got a funny story.  So, this morning I got up for work, CS picked me up and when we got to work and went to sign in, my name wasn't where it was supposed to be.  It was beside an evening shift, not a day shift.  Shit.  So there's me, CS and another co-worker and our supervisor standing there and I notice that I came in when I didn't have to and I expressed, "I GOT UP AT FUCKING 5 AM WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE TO?!?" *rofl*  omg.  I don't think I saw my co-workers mouths drop to the floor so fast in my life... that's TOTALLY made my day.  So we laughed it off and my Sup gave me a hug amidst my comical distress.   Then I apologized for swearing :)  lol  So.. I walked home, went back to bed for a couple hours (didn't sleep straight through, sadly) and got up and re-started the day.  I'll go in for my afternoon shift at 3.  The 06:30 walk home was quite nice, actually.  The wind wasn't bad and it was lightly snowing; there's something peaceful and quiet about a walk so early in the day.  But dude, going to your workplace twice in one day, not cool.

There's not much to report on JC, or at least, that I care to discuss here at this time.

Since my one other post though, I made a tremendous breakthrough about my search for particular men, realizing what I deserve, etc.  It's changed the way I look at the world.  Implementing the changes is going slowly (mental actions with physical reactions - I have to re-program my convictions, see? ).

I have a couple errands to run today; mostly for some food stuffs.  I made scrambled eggs when I got up and all I could put in was diced onions.  I'm out of veg, out of bread, milk.. argh.  And if you can believe it, I still have some Christmas cards to write out.  There aren't enough hours in the day.  Oh!  And I have to clean for company coming tomorrow...so I must attack the dishes in the sink.  My kitchen looks like a tornado went through it.  Yes, yes, company comes to see you, not your house, but I'm OCD, remember? :)

Happy Saturday, all.  If you're out and about, be safe; traffic will be crazy no matter where you are.