Thursday, December 16, 2010

Ill-Tempered Post

Warning: language. Huge vent. Be advised.

So I emailed my sister this morning to ask what was going on for Christmas because I hadn't heard anything.  She said she was holding a family gathering for New Years Eve.  I said I can't travel... and even if I did, I don't have it off (I did, but there were changes to the schedule).  She's still trying to pare down a day and said our brother was driving over for the festivities. Seriously?

I CAN'T FUCKING TRAVEL!  What does she not get about this?  She knows my stomach is bad.  She SHOULD know, she's got fucking colitis for crying out loud.  AGAIN I am not going to be around family for Christmas and I've got the whole fucking holiday off.  Lovely.  I'm almost in tears.  I don't know why she doesn't get it!  We were discussing Christmas plans before and for the parents we were just going to have dinner (that town is just 20 min away).  So... I presumed we were going to have dinner with them some night.  Perhaps a faulty assumption on my part.  Her "dinner" is with the whole extended family in Niagara Falls for a day/evening/overnight.  *headdesk*

I can't take this.  You know what?  Maybe I'll hold something here.  I'll invite the parents and if K (bro) and his gf want to come, they're welcomed.  But watch.. the parents won't be able to come because of the restaurant.  Fuck.

I'm starting to hate this fucking holiday.  I might as well take down the decorations because there's nothing to get excited about anymore.  Every year I worry about spending it with someone.  Every year it gets more exhausting.  I asked Santa for a guy this year, cause, well, I'd like one and I think it's deserved at this point (but what the hell do I know), but at least if I spent it with him, I wouldn't be so sad about not spending it with family.  I want to start my *own* family.

Fuck this post is getting depressing.  I'm out.


hydra said...

Don't take down your decorations. Leave them there for you and Babu! And do what you suggested and invite people to your place. I do sympathise. For years, I had the bad stomach/unable to travel problem and I still have attacks sometimes. Nobody ever made allowances until another friend started suffering from bad stomachs, too, and at last I had some sympathy and support.

thecottagebythecranelakeolof1 said...

I really don´t understand why it is so important to spend time with the family at Christmas? It´s a day like all others to be honest, this is most probably not the day when Jesus got born anyway.

There is so much pressure around this holiday and it must be perfect or the whole holiday is destroyed if even the slightest goes wrong. So just call Your parents and see if they can come over or go there if it is only twenty minutes away.

If that isn´t possible just enjoy Your free time, look at some crappy movies on TV and eat something Your stomach can take and keep the decorations, they are beautiful :-)

Take care now!

Perovskia said...

Hydra - Thanks. Decorations are still up and I'm just going with the flow. I wanted to have people over, but with the holidays coming so quickly, I don't have time (and I really don't think I would have good attendance, to be honest), so I'm going to have one in the new year instead.

Perovskia said...

Christer - You're right, it is a day just like any other and no, I don't think this is when Jesus was really born, anyways. I think I'm going to respond to your comment with a new post while I incorporate some other thoughts on the matter.

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