So I emailed my sister this morning to ask what was going on for Christmas because I hadn't heard anything. She said she was holding a family gathering for New Years Eve. I said I can't travel... and even if I did, I don't have it off (I did, but there were changes to the schedule). She's still trying to pare down a day and said our brother was driving over for the festivities. Seriously?
I CAN'T FUCKING TRAVEL! What does she not get about this? She knows my stomach is bad. She SHOULD know, she's got fucking colitis for crying out loud. AGAIN I am not going to be around family for Christmas and I've got the whole fucking holiday off. Lovely. I'm
I can't take this. You know what? Maybe I'll hold something here. I'll invite the parents and if K (bro) and his gf want to come, they're welcomed. But watch.. the parents won't be able to come because of the restaurant. Fuck.
I'm starting to hate this fucking holiday. I might as well take down the decorations because there's nothing to get excited about anymore. Every year I worry about spending it with someone. Every year it gets more exhausting. I asked Santa for a guy this year, cause, well, I'd like one and I think it's deserved at this point (but what the hell do I know), but at least if I spent it with him, I wouldn't be so sad about not spending it with family. I want to start my *own* family.
Fuck this post is getting depressing. I'm out.