The past week has been glorious. I've had a few days off and afternoon shifts at that, so every day has been relaxing. I've vowed to adapt to a French or Italian way of living, if you will (however temporary, I'm sure). Relaxing, napping, reading, knitting, doing up the few dishes after a couple of meals (instead of letting them sit for a day or two). A lot of work has been done around the apartment; (much needed) cleaning, organizing, throwing away of things old. I feel a little more at peace and a little less OCD. I'm not rushed. Doing things when I need to do them, not putting them off, concentrating on the effort at the task at hand and not on anything else, then resting. As quoted in Eat, Pray, Love, "The art of doing nothing".
Which isn't to say my mind is taking example. I'm still thinking and over-thinking things. I find it's easier to be mad at someone else, than yourself (which isn't at all proper and I recognize this). That's all I'll say about that. Maybe I should write a post, 'The Art Of Letting Go'. Ugh. I swear it's a daily battle.
I've been practicing my yoga semi-daily; it has also helped me slow down.
Stopping the hectic that is life will hopefully help my stomach. Not that I ever scarf down food or eat like it's going out of style, but practicing slow digestion re-trains the system to recognize itself again, notices upsets (thus perhaps prevent said upsets). Not my goal, but hopefully a positive by-product. This is also adapted after French or Italian ways, non?
Which brings me to say.. and this is very odd perhaps to hear.. but have you ever felt like you're living where you're not meant to live? Ever since I was a child I've felt like a foreigner in this country. I've ALWAYS felt I should be in Europe. Always. I'm first generation Canadian on my fathers side (Dutch) so maybe it's just cause it's...literally... in my blood? I don't know. But I don't feel I belong here. This is the first time I've made that thought public. I've adapted, but only because I've had to. My head and heart have always been overseas. Perhaps a subconscious reason for picking foreign men. Interesting reason, that.
And I think I'll depart on that note.