Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Turning Points, with Age

I'm speaking to a friend right now and she's come to realize a few things about herself. One of those, I-now-feel-a-weight-off-my-shoulders-because-I-see-things-differently-and-now-it-feels-euphoric, instances (I went through that not too long ago, as you recall). This is a girl who was polyamorous, but now only wants one mate because she's come to terms with what she really wants (and has a man with these qualities).

Anyways, it got me thinking about achieving different turning points in our lives; in this instance, we'll say about relationships. Y'know.. suddenly you don't need the guy to have a 'hotrod' to be considered hot or desirable. Or your specifications for said mate (tall, dark and handsome) don't apply as strongly as before. With age comes wisdom; we become more accepting. We come into our own more, we grow and we know what we want, but we know it might not come in that 'perfect' package we dreamt of when we were 20. We know our limitations; what we deserve, what we won't accept.

I'm not dating for the good of my health. I hate it*. I absolutely hate it. But I'm looking for a husband. How can I find said husband if I don't meet people? The hotrod shall be replaced with a Jetta or Mustang (ironically, men with both of these cars that I saw didn't work out, but using for the sake of argument). The tall, dark and handsome will be replaced with anyone so long as he's healthy and takes care of himself. I could make a list that goes on and on, but then it gets personal :)

How has age changed the way you view relationships/mates/spouses? What did you used to see and what do you see now?

*Edit: Let me clarify. I don't hate dating. I mis having the familiar. I love men too much to hate dating :) (and anyone who knows me well enough will know this). I hate what they think they can get away with (and they get away with it because we let them). I hate being treated poorly, without respect. Okay, maybe I should go back to hating dating....

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