It's been a while since you've heard from me, I know. It seems the more time goes on, the less time I have to blog. I have difficulty as of late prioritizing. That's not like me; I usually know what I want and in what order to do it in. The thing is, I have several issues that have (or are close to) similar priority, that that's when I have trouble deciding/choosing. So each day, if I don't pick what I want to focus on in the morning, I get overwhelmed about mid-day and don't become productive at all. Is my brain getting less functional as I get older??
I wanted to talk about the recent sugar detox we've been on, that you may or may not know about (via Facebook). Three weeks ago we cut out all sugars from our diet (otherwise known as a 'candida cleanse'). No refined sugar, no natural sugars (honey, agave, maple syrup, etc), no fruit, no breads, no alcohol of any form, no coffee, no processed (even sliced meat) or canned food with any form of sugar in it, no pastries or sweets (of course), no foods that have or are potential to molds (peanuts, black tea and mushrooms). I had an idea how much sugar was in everything because of my background, but it was an eye opener for W. He had no idea and I think went into a bit of shock. Gluten-free grains were permissible (buckwheat) and baking got a lot more creative (I now have a love for dates that provide sweetness).
The first week I detoxed pretty bad (him not as much). The second week came along better, especially near the end of the second week when we introduced agave, green apples (low pectin) and yogurt (allowed; probiotics). (Third week included spelt.) You'd be surprised how much that opens up your menu options. The first couple weeks were hell. I hate meal planning on the best of days, but this was torture. Into week three we've brought in all fruit but limit consumption to max one serving a day. For now.
Coming onto the end of week three we're doing *really* well. No sweet cravings, still holding fast to no sugar or sugar in processed products. I've gone from severe detox symptoms (horrible digestion, headaches, skin itchiness, etc) to none of those anymore (except digestion is still not perfect), PLUS I feel lighter, can sit/stand up straight with my shoulders back easier and have slightly more energy. My anxiety? I'd say 60-70% reduced. I can't tell you how much a relief that is and how much "weight" that takes off my being. Oh weight; I've lost 2 kilos (approx 4.5 lbs) to date and holding steady. W. didn't have many health issues aside from eczema on his head and even that is starting to clear up. I think our bodies are still detoxing. We've had *such* a build-up of by-products of sugar in our bodies, they're still trying to harmonize themselves with the new way. And even if you don't believe that, I believe 100% that our bodies are learning to function differently without the dependence of sugar and what it does to our individual organs (thus creating a domino effect with others). W. said he's actually 'tasting' food for the first time as it is. His entire life has consisted of processed foods and frequent desserts after dinner that he didn't know what real food tasted like. And now he's starting to see. How fantastic is that?! He's *really* learning a new relationship with food and I think that's so wonderful.
A detox, by definition, is impermanent. We're in the midst of deciding our long-term goals. The more we stay away from societal (incl. BigAg, BigSug, BigPharm, etc) dietary pressures, the more I feel back to nature, more harmonized, Reading 'Nourishing Traditions' is also helping a lot (thanks to a borrowed copy from a friend). It's causing me to look more at the source of my food (buy local!), develop deeper relationships with my green grocer and butcher and spend a LOT more time in the kitchen since we're on a whole-food diet. A win-win all around, I think. Long term I would like us to stay away from refined sugar and try to stay closer to natural sugars. Baking will become a challenge for me if not downright impossible. I know there will be social situations when eating processed products, breads or sweets is inevitable, but I'm okay with that. Then we can go back to the way we want to eat. I don't think those days are bad, but I'd like to keep them more in check than before. I don't know; this is something we'll have to discuss further.
Oh, something else detoxing has taught me: my relationship to food based on mood. I'll go straight for the chocolate if I'm sad, depressed or otherwise down. Like a moth to a flame. I noticed that a lot since of course, I couldn't go for the chocolate at certain times. I miss coffee. A lot. Still. I'm not ready to try it again yet since I fear I would develop another dependence to it (which would also do no favour to my digestive system). We have cheat days, but the 'cheating' is minor; a square of good quality dark chocolate for me, black tea for him.
So, on that note I shall get on with my day. I have a sink of dishes waiting for me and have to choose my "priorities" for the day. I hope you have a FABULOUS weekend. We're hoping to do something a little more cultural this weekend; it feels like it's been a while. And God-willing if the sun is out and the rain has stopped, stay outside a bit more.
Showing posts with label in the kitchen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label in the kitchen. Show all posts
Friday, June 26, 2015
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Pregnancies (not mine!), Alcohol Checks and Moving Forward
Hello all.
I recently went with a fellow expat friend to a cafe to meet with a group of other expats to practice the language. There's a man that leads it who's been in the country for almost 40 years and likes to help. There were several of us the other night and it went well. I was a bit (read: a lot) overwhelmed, but I trudged through. I even participated a little. I ended the evening both tired and stimulated. I think I'll go back and give it a try for a bit. Even if I didn't understand everything, I think it got the 'ol gear box working, y'know? It already enforced more Dutch thinking through the week and even though it started to taper off the longer the week went, it's still good progress. W. was impressed with my reading/translating tonight.
It's also been decided that I'm (even more so) joining the magazine editors team. I already contribute recipes, but now I'm going to be helping W. with graphic design. I'm even learning Adobe's InDesign. The guy who was doing it had to leave, so I'm stepping in to help out. Besides, it's something else to add to the resume and it makes my not-working time more constructive. All of this is good progress; I'm not working, yet somehow I'm being kept busy. I'm very grateful for this.
I don't know if many of you have heard of Ello (https://ello.co/). It's touted as the new anti-Facebook. It's very simple and clean-looking. You can sign up to be on the waiting list, or get an invite from a friend who already made it on (also) through an invite from a friend. It's very quiet now with not a lot of people on it and it's still in beta stage. Anything that gives me a break from Facebook wins, so... yeah. I'll say that after looking at some people's profiles (your profile is public) that it's very much for the art or culturally-minded community. Lots of art. Lots of photography. I'm not sure I fit there. I used to be this person, but it's been a very long time. I really miss Google+, I'm not gonna lie. Not as many people are on it as Facebook (or at least they weren't when I walked away over a year or two ago) and you had more control over who could see or not see your posts, but maybe I'll try again and see who's lurking. Last I checked there were new friends on that hadn't previously joined. Google+ 's network is fantastic. Much more user-friendly, I think.
There were a couple other things I wanted to talk about, but I'm going to put them on the back-burner and talk about them another time. I wanted to share a couple of cultural differences, 'cause you know those are always fun.
So the other night on my way to choir, I was on the bus and when we turned one of the street corners, traffic came to a dead stop. You know how it goes, everyone pokes their heads up and around to see if they can tell what's going on. There's talk and guesses what's holding us up. Yeah, they had an alcohol check. So get this.. the set up is pretty much the same; cops in the middle of the road, stopping traffic both ways to check for alcohol consumption (on a busy one-lane street, no less), there's two of them per station. They check you for alcohol alright. They make you blow on the spot! Every. Single. Vehicle. Even our busdriver had to blow! They have their devices with disposable cap thingies to replace with each use. Our police guy's partner was holding two bags of them. On. The. Spot. They're not messing around! I think it's fabulous! MUCH less room for error, much less guessing (for the cop, and for you and your chances. "Oh, I've just had two tonight, it's a weeknight, a RIDE Program won't be out, I'll be fine. BAM! You'll be 'fine' alright because you'll get a fine). How it works after they find alcohol in your system, I don't know how that process works. In this instance they couldn't have exactly made you pull over, cause there was nowhere to pull over *to*. So I shall ask around about that. WHY they're not doing this where I'm from is beyond me.
Gosh, there was another cultural difference I wanted to write about. Hmm.. this one is kind of a two-parter that I don't have time for, but I will get into it a little bit. So.. the list of my friends becoming pregnant around the globe is growing. Had babies. Having babies. Going to have babies. Your social life quickly diminishes if you are of the non-baby community). Gah. It's an epidemic everywhere :P Anyhoo... did you know that when you have a baby here, there is help that comes to the house to help you clean (and do laundry), make meals, they make tea and cut cake for guests, cut your flowers. Like.. the whole shibang. I couldn't believe it. Again... fantastic idea! You're alloted a certain amount of hours (which is fairly substantial, from what I remember) and I believe everyone has access to this. Maternity leave is much shorter though (compared to Ontario); 16 weeks (combination of time off includes both before and after birth). I do side more with the year off that Ontario has; it benefits everyone.
I've decided to make (at least) one recipe a week out of my Dorie Greenspan's Around My French Table cookbook. I've made a few already (and will exclude those) and have really enjoyed them. It'll broaden my cooking and baking repertoire and bring new dishes into the house at meal times. Much needed!
Okay, I'm going to take off. It's Saturday, so it's sit-back-and-binge-watch-Doctor-Who night. I better get the popcorn ready.
Hope y'all are having a good weekend. If the weather is as beautiful as it is here, be sure to get out. There is much colder weather coming around the corner.
I recently went with a fellow expat friend to a cafe to meet with a group of other expats to practice the language. There's a man that leads it who's been in the country for almost 40 years and likes to help. There were several of us the other night and it went well. I was a bit (read: a lot) overwhelmed, but I trudged through. I even participated a little. I ended the evening both tired and stimulated. I think I'll go back and give it a try for a bit. Even if I didn't understand everything, I think it got the 'ol gear box working, y'know? It already enforced more Dutch thinking through the week and even though it started to taper off the longer the week went, it's still good progress. W. was impressed with my reading/translating tonight.
It's also been decided that I'm (even more so) joining the magazine editors team. I already contribute recipes, but now I'm going to be helping W. with graphic design. I'm even learning Adobe's InDesign. The guy who was doing it had to leave, so I'm stepping in to help out. Besides, it's something else to add to the resume and it makes my not-working time more constructive. All of this is good progress; I'm not working, yet somehow I'm being kept busy. I'm very grateful for this.
I don't know if many of you have heard of Ello (https://ello.co/). It's touted as the new anti-Facebook. It's very simple and clean-looking. You can sign up to be on the waiting list, or get an invite from a friend who already made it on (also) through an invite from a friend. It's very quiet now with not a lot of people on it and it's still in beta stage. Anything that gives me a break from Facebook wins, so... yeah. I'll say that after looking at some people's profiles (your profile is public) that it's very much for the art or culturally-minded community. Lots of art. Lots of photography. I'm not sure I fit there. I used to be this person, but it's been a very long time. I really miss Google+, I'm not gonna lie. Not as many people are on it as Facebook (or at least they weren't when I walked away over a year or two ago) and you had more control over who could see or not see your posts, but maybe I'll try again and see who's lurking. Last I checked there were new friends on that hadn't previously joined. Google+ 's network is fantastic. Much more user-friendly, I think.
There were a couple other things I wanted to talk about, but I'm going to put them on the back-burner and talk about them another time. I wanted to share a couple of cultural differences, 'cause you know those are always fun.
So the other night on my way to choir, I was on the bus and when we turned one of the street corners, traffic came to a dead stop. You know how it goes, everyone pokes their heads up and around to see if they can tell what's going on. There's talk and guesses what's holding us up. Yeah, they had an alcohol check. So get this.. the set up is pretty much the same; cops in the middle of the road, stopping traffic both ways to check for alcohol consumption (on a busy one-lane street, no less), there's two of them per station. They check you for alcohol alright. They make you blow on the spot! Every. Single. Vehicle. Even our busdriver had to blow! They have their devices with disposable cap thingies to replace with each use. Our police guy's partner was holding two bags of them. On. The. Spot. They're not messing around! I think it's fabulous! MUCH less room for error, much less guessing (for the cop, and for you and your chances. "Oh, I've just had two tonight, it's a weeknight, a RIDE Program won't be out, I'll be fine. BAM! You'll be 'fine' alright because you'll get a fine). How it works after they find alcohol in your system, I don't know how that process works. In this instance they couldn't have exactly made you pull over, cause there was nowhere to pull over *to*. So I shall ask around about that. WHY they're not doing this where I'm from is beyond me.
Gosh, there was another cultural difference I wanted to write about. Hmm.. this one is kind of a two-parter that I don't have time for, but I will get into it a little bit. So.. the list of my friends becoming pregnant around the globe is growing. Had babies. Having babies. Going to have babies. Your social life quickly diminishes if you are of the non-baby community). Gah. It's an epidemic everywhere :P Anyhoo... did you know that when you have a baby here, there is help that comes to the house to help you clean (and do laundry), make meals, they make tea and cut cake for guests, cut your flowers. Like.. the whole shibang. I couldn't believe it. Again... fantastic idea! You're alloted a certain amount of hours (which is fairly substantial, from what I remember) and I believe everyone has access to this. Maternity leave is much shorter though (compared to Ontario); 16 weeks (combination of time off includes both before and after birth). I do side more with the year off that Ontario has; it benefits everyone.
I've decided to make (at least) one recipe a week out of my Dorie Greenspan's Around My French Table cookbook. I've made a few already (and will exclude those) and have really enjoyed them. It'll broaden my cooking and baking repertoire and bring new dishes into the house at meal times. Much needed!
Okay, I'm going to take off. It's Saturday, so it's sit-back-and-binge-watch-Doctor-Who night. I better get the popcorn ready.
Hope y'all are having a good weekend. If the weather is as beautiful as it is here, be sure to get out. There is much colder weather coming around the corner.
Friday, April 18, 2014
Goede vrijdag
Today is Good Friday (or in Dutch, Goede vrijdag). We're starting out with sunny weather, but it's supposed to turn to rain. How fitting. Today is also my birthday. I'm forgoing any celebrations to honour our Lord's death instead, and I'm okay with that. I'm listening to Taize songs, what they would be singing back in Canada. I always loved Easter weekend at church, it's such beautiful music. I don't care so much for the songs we're singing now. Besides not understanding them too much yet, they just don't have the solemn 'feel' to them like Taize has. We have no soloists.
I was a bit sad the other day about missing normal Easter routine at church, but while I was sitting in church Thrusday night, I got to witness new routines. Our church is the diocesan church and we had like, 12 priests there AND the bishop, several altar servers, even a female deacon (I think? I'm presuming her position) and incense up the wazoo (it was fantastic). It's always such a sight to witness such a gathering.
So I'm very curious about tonight's service. I liked Good Friday service the best at COOL; I think they conducted and arranged it very well. (A small note to anyone reading from COOL.. I can only imagine how stressed out J. is right now, thus stressing everyone else out. Try not to kill anyone, eh. Hold fast, it's almost over) ;)
In other news... I have my first client! A friend of mine has asked me to make brownies for her son's birthday on Monday. Woot! I just might throw in something a little extra for the "thanks for having faith in me". :)
Remember how I said the recipes I'm doing are read by like.. 3000 or so people? Yeah.. no. Turns out the magazine doesn't have circulation in the whole town (short of volunteers to deliver). So it's only read by 1800 people. Wanna hear something, though? One of the members of the editors team went to interview the other lady who also submits recipes (has been doing it for years, writes cookbooks and stuff) had my breadpudding recipe page open and the recipe made on the counter! I couldn't believe it! And then I worry, right. Inner diaglogue: "Omg, I hope I gave correct measurements." "What if it turns out differently for her? (and not in a good way)" "What if.. " "What if... " Bah. I finally let it go and hoped for the best.
Taxes. Oh, hateful taxes. Do not move to another country and do your previous country's taxes. It's hell. Hell I tell you! I can't file electronically, I have to do it by mail. Which I haven't done yet. Cause I'm still researching..stuff (best way to go about it, etc). That will be my focus over the next couple days.
Stuff to do, so I best get to it. I'm attending my first Stations of the Cross this afternoon (better late than never?). Won't understand it much, but it'll be nice to see. Then a choir member invited me over for dinner before we have to go back to sing tonight. That was sweet :)
Oh.. remind me to tell you about how they celebrate birthdays in the Netherlands, later. :)
May you find time to reflect today and remain in prayer. Peace be with you.
I was a bit sad the other day about missing normal Easter routine at church, but while I was sitting in church Thrusday night, I got to witness new routines. Our church is the diocesan church and we had like, 12 priests there AND the bishop, several altar servers, even a female deacon (I think? I'm presuming her position) and incense up the wazoo (it was fantastic). It's always such a sight to witness such a gathering.
So I'm very curious about tonight's service. I liked Good Friday service the best at COOL; I think they conducted and arranged it very well. (A small note to anyone reading from COOL.. I can only imagine how stressed out J. is right now, thus stressing everyone else out. Try not to kill anyone, eh. Hold fast, it's almost over) ;)
In other news... I have my first client! A friend of mine has asked me to make brownies for her son's birthday on Monday. Woot! I just might throw in something a little extra for the "thanks for having faith in me". :)
Remember how I said the recipes I'm doing are read by like.. 3000 or so people? Yeah.. no. Turns out the magazine doesn't have circulation in the whole town (short of volunteers to deliver). So it's only read by 1800 people. Wanna hear something, though? One of the members of the editors team went to interview the other lady who also submits recipes (has been doing it for years, writes cookbooks and stuff) had my breadpudding recipe page open and the recipe made on the counter! I couldn't believe it! And then I worry, right. Inner diaglogue: "Omg, I hope I gave correct measurements." "What if it turns out differently for her? (and not in a good way)" "What if.. " "What if... " Bah. I finally let it go and hoped for the best.
Taxes. Oh, hateful taxes. Do not move to another country and do your previous country's taxes. It's hell. Hell I tell you! I can't file electronically, I have to do it by mail. Which I haven't done yet. Cause I'm still researching..stuff (best way to go about it, etc). That will be my focus over the next couple days.
Stuff to do, so I best get to it. I'm attending my first Stations of the Cross this afternoon (better late than never?). Won't understand it much, but it'll be nice to see. Then a choir member invited me over for dinner before we have to go back to sing tonight. That was sweet :)
Oh.. remind me to tell you about how they celebrate birthdays in the Netherlands, later. :)
May you find time to reflect today and remain in prayer. Peace be with you.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Thankful
Good morning! Happy Monday! How are you recovering from the weekend? There was a lot going on I hear; house-warming parties, wine tours. My goodness you're a social bunch ;)
Yesterday I held my (late) Thanksgiving dinner for a party of 6. I was of two minds about it after last week's post/breakdown; I wasn't sure if I was ready to be surrounded by a few people or if I wanted time by myself, and When we arrived at the butcher Friday to pick up the turkey we were surprised; we ordered a 3 kilo turkey. We were presented with 6.9 kilos. That's over a 15 lb turkey! For 6 people! (Woo! Leftovers!) That was the smallest they could find and they did give us a fair deal, price wise. So we lugged out turkey home and found room for it in the fridge.
There was plenty of food on the table and everyone was quite sated. Turkey, ciabatta pancetta and apple stuffing (I made the night before and it was a hit), carrots, mashed potatoes, buns, green beans. For dessert there was a simple apple crisp and (homemade) Toblerone Semifreddo (semifreddo = 'half frozen', similar to ice cream). I have to say they were a perfect combination. Then tea and winding down.
His parents were sweet and got me a couple of small Friesian-style gifts (welcoming me to the country, STILL, after almost being here 4 months). Of the friends that came (a married couple), she gave me a food item (for my recipes) I've had a hard time locating. I've definitely been blessed to be around such generous people. It was a very 'gezellig' (cozy) evening.
Part of me is still very hesitant to get close to these people. I've just left my home base and I'm conscious enough to not want to fill the gaping void with just anyone. These people aren't just anyone, but I think it's taking a while for my head to catch up with my heart. All part of the adjustment.
Speaking of which, I've been making more of a mental conscious effort to acknowledge my move/change and it's going well. Much better than before, actually. I'm trying to remain more in the moment than in my head. Success.
I still miss Babu.
We had a time change this weekend. And guess what.. they do it on a *Saturday*, not a Sunday. I always joke w/W. that they do everything backwards. Not this one. It would make getting to work at the proper time on a Monday morning go *much more* stress free! They've got it right!
Very windy today (gail force winds up to 120+km/hr) but sunny, so I might just chance going out for a walk. If you don't hear from me in a day, send out the search and rescue ;)
Have a great day!
Yesterday I held my (late) Thanksgiving dinner for a party of 6. I was of two minds about it after last week's post/breakdown; I wasn't sure if I was ready to be surrounded by a few people or if I wanted time by myself, and When we arrived at the butcher Friday to pick up the turkey we were surprised; we ordered a 3 kilo turkey. We were presented with 6.9 kilos. That's over a 15 lb turkey! For 6 people! (Woo! Leftovers!) That was the smallest they could find and they did give us a fair deal, price wise. So we lugged out turkey home and found room for it in the fridge.
There was plenty of food on the table and everyone was quite sated. Turkey, ciabatta pancetta and apple stuffing (I made the night before and it was a hit), carrots, mashed potatoes, buns, green beans. For dessert there was a simple apple crisp and (homemade) Toblerone Semifreddo (semifreddo = 'half frozen', similar to ice cream). I have to say they were a perfect combination. Then tea and winding down.
His parents were sweet and got me a couple of small Friesian-style gifts (welcoming me to the country, STILL, after almost being here 4 months). Of the friends that came (a married couple), she gave me a food item (for my recipes) I've had a hard time locating. I've definitely been blessed to be around such generous people. It was a very 'gezellig' (cozy) evening.
Part of me is still very hesitant to get close to these people. I've just left my home base and I'm conscious enough to not want to fill the gaping void with just anyone. These people aren't just anyone, but I think it's taking a while for my head to catch up with my heart. All part of the adjustment.
Speaking of which, I've been making more of a mental conscious effort to acknowledge my move/change and it's going well. Much better than before, actually. I'm trying to remain more in the moment than in my head. Success.
I still miss Babu.
We had a time change this weekend. And guess what.. they do it on a *Saturday*, not a Sunday. I always joke w/W. that they do everything backwards. Not this one. It would make getting to work at the proper time on a Monday morning go *much more* stress free! They've got it right!
Very windy today (gail force winds up to 120+km/hr) but sunny, so I might just chance going out for a walk. If you don't hear from me in a day, send out the search and rescue ;)
Have a great day!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Baking
I haven't baked anything this week yet and I was starting to go through withdrawal. Thing is, I wanted something simple to keep movement, etc low with the heat. Enter kruid ("krowd") cake.
Kruid cake is a staple in Dutch homes. I'm not sure how do describe the taste; sort of.. cinnamony. I got this mix out of a Homecoming gift basket I got from a friend when I arrived....
Kruid cake is a staple in Dutch homes. I'm not sure how do describe the taste; sort of.. cinnamony. I got this mix out of a Homecoming gift basket I got from a friend when I arrived....
I was pretty blown away. She knows I love to bake and got me started in my new kitchen and it's helping me get familiar with some of their products.
Anyways.. I'm making the kruid cake, but I'm going to touch it up a notch with maybe some whipped cream or vla. Oh.. I haven't talked about vla yet.
I have a new love. And it is called vla ("fla").
Vla is like a custard-type pudding. I eat the non-dairy soy kind and it is FAB0U-LOUS. W. has some "slagroom vla" (whipped cream vla) in the fridge, but I like mine better. Oooh... maybe I'll put some of that with my kruid cake.
The Dutch, btw, believe in having dessert after dinner. Every. Single. Day. While my tastebuds delight, my waistline does not. This is going to be a challenge. Be forewarned if you ever visit; you WILL be stuffed with some sort of sugary-goodness post-feast :P
It won't let me upload pic of finished kruid cake, so it'll have to wait. Sorry :)
I gotta get outta the heat.
Ciao.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Baking
So today I'm going to bake a Normandy Apple Tea Cake. I've taken a picture to show you what I have to work with. It's an adjustment to get used to all their products (language aside). For instance: they don't use baking soda. Like, at all. Baking powder yes, baking soda no. They are favourable on self-rising flour (which I think I could get used to, so long as the price is ideal). Packages are smaller. Like.. I have not seen one bulk bag of flour. At all. How does anyone do mass amounts of baking around here? Sugar is the same package. I might need to look around online to see what I can find for flour. Also? Chocolate chips aren't common. CHOCOLATE CHIPS. What is this anarchy?! Who doesn't regularly stock chocolate chips?!?!?!? Had to go on a hunt for them and a friend here found them for me! They're about a half-hour bike ride away. Whenever I get a bike *sigh* I wonder if I can order online..................
Anyhoo... I've included a picture for you today. Click to englarge.
Anyhoo... I've included a picture for you today. Click to englarge.
From left to right: self-rising flour (€0,68, light brown sugar, eggs (-/+ €1 for 10), powdered sugar, castor sugar and butter (€0,99). I'm leaving the butter and eggs out to get to room temperature and I later took out the powdered sugar; it's not needed in this recipe and I think I just got.. sugar happy.
Ciao!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Demons
It's been a while since I've done a bare-all post so I thought about sharing this with you.
Internal demons are never-ending, I think. It's only how much head-space we give them that shows their predominance through our lives. Regardless of how many times you're told "I love you," it feels it never erases the past; a past that has over-written your self confidence time and time again despite your best attempts. A past that has made you feel you're insignificant, that you don't matter, that you're somehow less than everyone else ~ by the most significant and potentially influential people in your life at that time. Oh yes dear reader, I see the craziness in the previously written sentences, but they're still a reality and I have to honour them as such. Even though I am much smarter today than I was yesterday, building yourself back up takes work and isn't done overnight (which thus reminds me of the quote, "Rome wasn't built in a day"). Indeed Rome wasn't built in a day. It was completed, I'm sure, with collaboration, discussion, unity, vision, passion, strengths (and weaknesses), support, reliance on other people. Funny how a description of building a city can so relate to building our selves. We can't always do it alone.
But does a less-than-perfect past give much excuse to my demons today? Why can't I just fully accept that I am loved? Should it be that easy? IS it that easy? Part of me wants to say yes. Part of me thinks I can decide anything I want and I could rightly decide that I *am* loved ~ and believe it. But then a voice in the back of my head questions if I'm worth it, if I'm deserving of it. Ahhh.. negative self talk rears his ugly head again. It shouldn't be a matter of questioning; we're all human thus deserve to be loved. The mere fact that we exist on this earth earns us the right to be loved and respected in some manner or form.
Someone said to me today it's easier to say negative self-talk to ourselves than an affirmation. The affirmation may very well be true, but it's still more difficult to say. Only does an affirmation hold weight when we hear it repeatedly (and, okay, maybe some self-work thrown in there somewhere). They say it takes 10 positives to over-ride 1 negative and I like to think this has some merit. Why can't we just let the negative go? What purpose does hanging onto it serve us?
I was having a particular conversation with my significant other today and (after hearing things a) I needed to at the time and b) repeatedly) I've come into another phase of transition... of letting go...growing up & being better than my demons... of not being afraid to believe the good for once ~ and most importantly ~ believing him when he says he loves me, that I matter and I'm important. I'm going to try to see what it feels like to live a life with the attitude that my negative self-talk doesn't exist. I wonder if my perception will change or if others (i.e my loved one's) perception of me will change. This is new, so I don't know how good I'll be at it, but I'm darn well gonna try. If I stumble, don't be afraid to help pick me up and dust me off.
*******************
Side note: Passport application is in (even that's a story in itself; W. says I could write a book on my experiences) and now I wait.
Also, I've been getting back in the kitchen a little more (it's been very long since I've done some baking) and when I do I realize it's been WAY too long and I feel the longing more. So tonight I made my OMG Brownies - vegan. And hey, they're still pretty OMG :)
Internal demons are never-ending, I think. It's only how much head-space we give them that shows their predominance through our lives. Regardless of how many times you're told "I love you," it feels it never erases the past; a past that has over-written your self confidence time and time again despite your best attempts. A past that has made you feel you're insignificant, that you don't matter, that you're somehow less than everyone else ~ by the most significant and potentially influential people in your life at that time. Oh yes dear reader, I see the craziness in the previously written sentences, but they're still a reality and I have to honour them as such. Even though I am much smarter today than I was yesterday, building yourself back up takes work and isn't done overnight (which thus reminds me of the quote, "Rome wasn't built in a day"). Indeed Rome wasn't built in a day. It was completed, I'm sure, with collaboration, discussion, unity, vision, passion, strengths (and weaknesses), support, reliance on other people. Funny how a description of building a city can so relate to building our selves. We can't always do it alone.
But does a less-than-perfect past give much excuse to my demons today? Why can't I just fully accept that I am loved? Should it be that easy? IS it that easy? Part of me wants to say yes. Part of me thinks I can decide anything I want and I could rightly decide that I *am* loved ~ and believe it. But then a voice in the back of my head questions if I'm worth it, if I'm deserving of it. Ahhh.. negative self talk rears his ugly head again. It shouldn't be a matter of questioning; we're all human thus deserve to be loved. The mere fact that we exist on this earth earns us the right to be loved and respected in some manner or form.
Someone said to me today it's easier to say negative self-talk to ourselves than an affirmation. The affirmation may very well be true, but it's still more difficult to say. Only does an affirmation hold weight when we hear it repeatedly (and, okay, maybe some self-work thrown in there somewhere). They say it takes 10 positives to over-ride 1 negative and I like to think this has some merit. Why can't we just let the negative go? What purpose does hanging onto it serve us?
I was having a particular conversation with my significant other today and (after hearing things a) I needed to at the time and b) repeatedly) I've come into another phase of transition... of letting go...growing up & being better than my demons... of not being afraid to believe the good for once ~ and most importantly ~ believing him when he says he loves me, that I matter and I'm important. I'm going to try to see what it feels like to live a life with the attitude that my negative self-talk doesn't exist. I wonder if my perception will change or if others (i.e my loved one's) perception of me will change. This is new, so I don't know how good I'll be at it, but I'm darn well gonna try. If I stumble, don't be afraid to help pick me up and dust me off.
*******************
Side note: Passport application is in (even that's a story in itself; W. says I could write a book on my experiences) and now I wait.
Also, I've been getting back in the kitchen a little more (it's been very long since I've done some baking) and when I do I realize it's been WAY too long and I feel the longing more. So tonight I made my OMG Brownies - vegan. And hey, they're still pretty OMG :)
Monday, October 29, 2012
Appearances
Yeah... so... hi.
Been a while, I know. I think this is how it's going to be for a while. I apologize in advance. My distractions have been elsewhere and I hope to do a bit of explaining just where they've been. I'm quite tired though (is it sad I'm this tired at 8:30 at night?), so forgive me for keeping this short.
My new love is treating me well. So well, that it's most of the reason I haven't been here to talk to you. We are in a habit now of Skype'ing every night (which is a luxury I'm daily thankful for), for either an hour.. or four. It's nice and it makes me happy :) Every day I'm learning something about him and it makes me smile. I'm a very lucky girl to find someone so understanding, patient and loving. It's nice to be accepted *with* your faults (not despite them) and encouraged to grow in them. Yup, he's a special one. I still don't want to say too much publicly for now, but all you need to know is things are going very, very well :)
Which is why I'm tired at night and shut down early. After our talks (which can end anywhere from 5:30pm to 8-8:30) I'm done. I've committed energy to Skype'ing which is a bit more involved than an actual in-person visit because special attention is given to shitty connections (across an ocean, of course) and making sure you hear everything the other says, if not repeat. We also talk about a lot of in-depth things, so that also takes attention. So after our calls, I don't feel like doing much else. He's gone to bed (he's 6 hrs ahead) and I have an hour or three to get my stuff together for the next day. Which means not writing you here :( But I haven't forgotten about you! I promise I'll write anytime something comes up.
Like bake sales!
I'm entering yet another table at work of my baked goods. It's an annual November Fair we have that's mostly a craft show, but some people put in food items. I'm stressing with what to make, how much to make (it's very high traffic). I have a good idea, but not everything is finalized and it's driving my OCD a bit nuts. I know I'm a last-minute person, but this is crazy. Anyways, the sale is this Friday (eek!) so wish me luck!!
I started the fourth season of Doctor Who (newer series; the tenth Doctor) tonight. Exciting :) Enter: Donna.
Can't think of much else to tell you. Babu is doing well and driving me nuts on a daily basis. I've been mostly healthy aside from usual tummy-troubles made worse from a virus a couple months ago. When you already have a weak system, it takes so long to bounce back from something like that. I'm almost ready to throw in the towel. Dude, if you have a healthy digestive system...BE THANKFUL.
I hope everyone is doing well. I think of you, even if we haven't spoken in a while. Once the craziness subsides, I will be in touch. These days, I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and it's almost getting to be a little too much, yet I can't think of a way ahead or how to dig my way out. I said last Christmas winter will quiet down and I'll finally be able to get to mundane things that I once liked doing. So far? It hasn't stopped. In a year. Is this how life is now? Where did I go wrong? Did I go wrong? How have I committed myself in so many ways that I'm leaving nothing left for...nothing?
*faint*
That's what tonight was for; Doctor Who lets me chill out for an hour. Did I feel guilty the entire time because I know there's things I need to be doing? Absolutely. And I ignored it, cause, I need to stay sane, yo. So.. I chilled.
Me, lately, in a nutshell.
P.S - How have I not had a Doctor Who tag?! Now, a Doctor Who tag. Just 'cause.
Been a while, I know. I think this is how it's going to be for a while. I apologize in advance. My distractions have been elsewhere and I hope to do a bit of explaining just where they've been. I'm quite tired though (is it sad I'm this tired at 8:30 at night?), so forgive me for keeping this short.
My new love is treating me well. So well, that it's most of the reason I haven't been here to talk to you. We are in a habit now of Skype'ing every night (which is a luxury I'm daily thankful for), for either an hour.. or four. It's nice and it makes me happy :) Every day I'm learning something about him and it makes me smile. I'm a very lucky girl to find someone so understanding, patient and loving. It's nice to be accepted *with* your faults (not despite them) and encouraged to grow in them. Yup, he's a special one. I still don't want to say too much publicly for now, but all you need to know is things are going very, very well :)
Which is why I'm tired at night and shut down early. After our talks (which can end anywhere from 5:30pm to 8-8:30) I'm done. I've committed energy to Skype'ing which is a bit more involved than an actual in-person visit because special attention is given to shitty connections (across an ocean, of course) and making sure you hear everything the other says, if not repeat. We also talk about a lot of in-depth things, so that also takes attention. So after our calls, I don't feel like doing much else. He's gone to bed (he's 6 hrs ahead) and I have an hour or three to get my stuff together for the next day. Which means not writing you here :( But I haven't forgotten about you! I promise I'll write anytime something comes up.
Like bake sales!
I'm entering yet another table at work of my baked goods. It's an annual November Fair we have that's mostly a craft show, but some people put in food items. I'm stressing with what to make, how much to make (it's very high traffic). I have a good idea, but not everything is finalized and it's driving my OCD a bit nuts. I know I'm a last-minute person, but this is crazy. Anyways, the sale is this Friday (eek!) so wish me luck!!
I started the fourth season of Doctor Who (newer series; the tenth Doctor) tonight. Exciting :) Enter: Donna.
Can't think of much else to tell you. Babu is doing well and driving me nuts on a daily basis. I've been mostly healthy aside from usual tummy-troubles made worse from a virus a couple months ago. When you already have a weak system, it takes so long to bounce back from something like that. I'm almost ready to throw in the towel. Dude, if you have a healthy digestive system...BE THANKFUL.
I hope everyone is doing well. I think of you, even if we haven't spoken in a while. Once the craziness subsides, I will be in touch. These days, I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and it's almost getting to be a little too much, yet I can't think of a way ahead or how to dig my way out. I said last Christmas winter will quiet down and I'll finally be able to get to mundane things that I once liked doing. So far? It hasn't stopped. In a year. Is this how life is now? Where did I go wrong? Did I go wrong? How have I committed myself in so many ways that I'm leaving nothing left for...nothing?
*faint*
That's what tonight was for; Doctor Who lets me chill out for an hour. Did I feel guilty the entire time because I know there's things I need to be doing? Absolutely. And I ignored it, cause, I need to stay sane, yo. So.. I chilled.
Me, lately, in a nutshell.
P.S - How have I not had a Doctor Who tag?! Now, a Doctor Who tag. Just 'cause.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Farmer's Market to... Pastry Chef?
Well, I'm happy to report today was a success.
....At least, as far as successes go. I count anything as a profit a success, so by my standards, I wasn't asking much. Whatever I made I considered a bonus; I'm doing what I enjoy. Now, I was anxious as hell for getting my baking out in the public for the first time, I'm not gonna lie. You know when things just sort of...roll in succession and happen naturally and fall into place? That's what this was. It was suggested I put in a table, I automatically made business cards without thinking much about it and baked my ass off for 3 days. I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about things or deliberating if this is what I should do.
Now, having said that, I know what I would do differently next time. I need to get on the ball more and I'd make a few changes.. but that's a learned experience and all hindsight now. I'm making notes for next time (I need a designated notebook!).
The weather was.. tolerable. It was drizzly today and damp - so the girls and I were a bit chilled to the bone. I should have a bath tonight; that's a sure remedy.
There were 2 girls at a table next to me who took care of the produce (there was a lot!) and they were super nice. In fact, one of them is a manager at a boutique grocer down the street and suggested I look into getting my product in there (did I just hear myself say someone wanted me to sell my stuff in a store.. professionally?). I'll keep her as a contact. Also, the manager for the cafeteria in the hospital would like to sell my items at Christmas (wow!), but we're not sure if that's feasible yet. I'm not a registered business for all this so it poses problems - but not impossible ones.
I sit back and look at my life as it stands and... I'm so happy and so thankful. You and I know I've wanted things to turn around for a long time now. And if you really know about things, you know I worked hard for this and it's about damn time. I don't feel bad saying I deserve this (something I never would have been able to say in the past; I was a different person then).
How do I feel now besides happy? Tired as hell. I'm exhausted. I can barely keep my head upright. Baking over a hot oven for 3 days and socializing for one & trying to make an adequate impression and future contacts, takes a lot out of a girl. And apparently I'm doing this again in November!?!
Well, I'm going to take a night for myself and get to bed early (back to reality - work!). I can't leave without saying thanks to you for all your support. And you know I can't leave without thanking the Big Guy upstairs. Last but never least, W.; I hate to sound cliche but my rock and my strength. Without your love and support (and endless patience for my craziness; God love you) I wouldn't have had the strength for today. You are my life.
....At least, as far as successes go. I count anything as a profit a success, so by my standards, I wasn't asking much. Whatever I made I considered a bonus; I'm doing what I enjoy. Now, I was anxious as hell for getting my baking out in the public for the first time, I'm not gonna lie. You know when things just sort of...roll in succession and happen naturally and fall into place? That's what this was. It was suggested I put in a table, I automatically made business cards without thinking much about it and baked my ass off for 3 days. I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about things or deliberating if this is what I should do.
Now, having said that, I know what I would do differently next time. I need to get on the ball more and I'd make a few changes.. but that's a learned experience and all hindsight now. I'm making notes for next time (I need a designated notebook!).
The weather was.. tolerable. It was drizzly today and damp - so the girls and I were a bit chilled to the bone. I should have a bath tonight; that's a sure remedy.
There were 2 girls at a table next to me who took care of the produce (there was a lot!) and they were super nice. In fact, one of them is a manager at a boutique grocer down the street and suggested I look into getting my product in there (did I just hear myself say someone wanted me to sell my stuff in a store.. professionally?). I'll keep her as a contact. Also, the manager for the cafeteria in the hospital would like to sell my items at Christmas (wow!), but we're not sure if that's feasible yet. I'm not a registered business for all this so it poses problems - but not impossible ones.
I sit back and look at my life as it stands and... I'm so happy and so thankful. You and I know I've wanted things to turn around for a long time now. And if you really know about things, you know I worked hard for this and it's about damn time. I don't feel bad saying I deserve this (something I never would have been able to say in the past; I was a different person then).
How do I feel now besides happy? Tired as hell. I'm exhausted. I can barely keep my head upright. Baking over a hot oven for 3 days and socializing for one & trying to make an adequate impression and future contacts, takes a lot out of a girl. And apparently I'm doing this again in November!?!
Well, I'm going to take a night for myself and get to bed early (back to reality - work!). I can't leave without saying thanks to you for all your support. And you know I can't leave without thanking the Big Guy upstairs. Last but never least, W.; I hate to sound cliche but my rock and my strength. Without your love and support (and endless patience for my craziness; God love you) I wouldn't have had the strength for today. You are my life.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
It's Heeeeere... (Farmer's Market)
Hey folks. Sorry I've been AWOL; life is changing pace and I'm doing my best to keep up. My attention these days lies elsewhere (the new love is treating me very well, btw; I couldn't be happier!) and I'm doing my best to balance everything.
Well, that time went by fast, didn't it? This coming Wednesday is the Farmer's Market we're holding at work. Turns out there's not many of us, only 3 or so tables (but they're very large tables) and I was not quite volentold.. but.. coerced into putting my baking for sale (it turns out it didn't need much arm twisting). I decided to go for it and put any sales towards my Europe Fund, as stated. What the hell, right?
Well, it's caused me a bit of stress. First I messed up the days and got that wrong, so it took 2 days off of planning that out (same questions as before; what will I make? Will I have enough variety? Will I produce enough?)... and ever since last night, I've been baking when I'm not at work. Thankfully I have tomorrow off, so I will finish it all up then. Oh right, and I'm entering my French baking and gluten-free baking as previously decided. I've never put my baking out in public before, so I'm very anxious. It's one thing to please friends, it's another to please a stranger. But.. we'll see what happens. Think positive!
Well, I'm going to keep this short cause um... time is money. I need to clean up between cookies in the oven and I might even refrigerate some dough and do the rest in the morning. I'll keep you posted!
Well, that time went by fast, didn't it? This coming Wednesday is the Farmer's Market we're holding at work. Turns out there's not many of us, only 3 or so tables (but they're very large tables) and I was not quite volentold.. but.. coerced into putting my baking for sale (it turns out it didn't need much arm twisting). I decided to go for it and put any sales towards my Europe Fund, as stated. What the hell, right?
Well, it's caused me a bit of stress. First I messed up the days and got that wrong, so it took 2 days off of planning that out (same questions as before; what will I make? Will I have enough variety? Will I produce enough?)... and ever since last night, I've been baking when I'm not at work. Thankfully I have tomorrow off, so I will finish it all up then. Oh right, and I'm entering my French baking and gluten-free baking as previously decided. I've never put my baking out in public before, so I'm very anxious. It's one thing to please friends, it's another to please a stranger. But.. we'll see what happens. Think positive!
Well, I'm going to keep this short cause um... time is money. I need to clean up between cookies in the oven and I might even refrigerate some dough and do the rest in the morning. I'll keep you posted!
Monday, September 10, 2012
Farmers Market?
In the beginning of October the gentleman (executive chef) who runs the cafeteria adjacent to our kitchen at work is hosting a Farmers Market for the hospital. One has the option of getting a table ($20 fee, payable to ...something or other; some department or fund). He suggested I do some baking and get a table and earn a few bucks.
It's a nice idea and the income (post costs) would go towards what will now be called my Europe Fund. I'm asking myself a lot of questions; what would I bake? How can I keep costs low and income high? Do I have the time and/or energy for this? How do I decide prices? Low enough to entice purchase but high enough to generate income.
What are your thoughts? What else should I be asking myself? What would you do?
I would definitely do some French Baking, and especially some Gluten Free stuff. I'd rather not bake ahead too much and freeze, as it compromises the taste of the final product, though I might not have a choice. I'm not going to do pies and stuff like that; they're too common. Mind you, I might sell slices (or whole?) of something like my Raspberry Almond Clafoutis, Blackberry Butter Cake, Tart au Citron, things like that. Cookies, maybe, but that might go under the GF category.
I have to be careful because October will be here before I know it, so I'd have to decide fast. Don't be afraid to throw any thoughts or ideas my way! Thanks!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Phew
Well, I'm writing sooner than I thought I would. Isn't it typical, I say I'm taking some time off, then write the next day. Ah well. Hi! :) I guess I haven't written cause I don't know where to start, there's been so much going on. So... I guess I'll just pick a topic and go from there.
I've been getting back in the kitchen lately, which feels SO good. I haven't baked much over the summer. With the heat, it was just too much, y'know? ..despite having an A/C. The other day a la French, I made a Blackberry Butter Cake. It turned out horribly. I mean, it was edible for the most part, but I forgot a step and.. bleh. Anyways, it's just another excuse to make it again :)
I've come across a few sites/articles I wanted to share because I thought they had some element in them that I agreed with, identified with or thought should come to light.
HP's We Respect Our iPhones More Than Our Elders (which, doesn't really mention personal devices at all, so much as getting and giving back to seniors).
Hp's 7 Laws of Fearless Living. I *loved* the points in this. Good to think about as you consider your current position in life.
CBC's Tropicana Orange Juice lawsuits question 'natural' status.CZ CS, this ties in to something we were talking about before. Folks, if it's important to you, know that the o.j on the shelf isn't as pure as you may have thought it to be. But then, we shouldn't be surprised. If you can afford to juice, do it.
HP's What's in your God Box? Hmm... I'm going to let you read this one on your own.
Random, but The Traveler's Lunchbox, The Well-Salted Tart. I want to make this. AR, I think you would be happy if I did, so I'll get back to you ;)
Ah! This was an interesting site; Wheat Belly (linked to About the Author which kind of gives the synopsis of what he's about) which exposes thoughts on wheat and the detriments it's causing to our health.. and depending on your current nutrition beliefs, you may (or may not, but I'm not sure how) agree with.
lifehacker's The Snarky Voice in Your Head is Killing Your Productivity; Here's How to Stop It. I liked this, too, and have often found myself guilty (so often! eek!) of the negative inner voice and this will cause you to be mindful of curbing your "inner asshole". Or at least, bring it to your attention and you can decide what you want to do. (C'mon.. tell me you're not guilty of some of these points.)
This is a blog post on how to Scare Yourself Every Day, if you're into personal challenges or need a kick in the arse for motivation to try something different. This may or may not be for you.
HP's Tithing In Canada: Churchgoers Divided Over Donating Percentage of Their Income. An interesting read about tithing rules, practices, beliefs of different denominations. The statistics are interesting.
Wow! That was a lot I had saved up, eh? I'd be interested what you thought of any of them.
The only other thing I have to write about is a new love; a dear friend of mine whom I've known for a few years. The catch? (..cause there's always one in Jody's life) He's in Europe. Which means I have a helluva'n adventure ahead of me if it works out. I hope it does :) Think positive, people! :)
Due to possible impending move, I've been trying to adapt to a more minimalist way of living. Not that I have a lot of stuff or am materialistic, but am second-thinking purchases. Oh.. ha.. except for this. Well, it didn't even cost me anything, but I have to show you; with my airmiles I saved up, I got a new Henckels knife set. It's so pretty. It's sitting on my counter, constantly whispering every day, "Use me!"
I'm applying for a new job and need your positive thoughts for that, too! It's in a kitchen in a higher-end hotel in the city; I'm really feeling pulled towards it.
That's all for now. I need to make me some lunch. Hope the week is treating you well. I'll be hitting up the Jazz Festival this weekend with a couple friends (including a close friend coming in from out of town) and I can't wait. My favourite time of year.
I've been getting back in the kitchen lately, which feels SO good. I haven't baked much over the summer. With the heat, it was just too much, y'know? ..despite having an A/C. The other day a la French, I made a Blackberry Butter Cake. It turned out horribly. I mean, it was edible for the most part, but I forgot a step and.. bleh. Anyways, it's just another excuse to make it again :)
I've come across a few sites/articles I wanted to share because I thought they had some element in them that I agreed with, identified with or thought should come to light.
HP's We Respect Our iPhones More Than Our Elders (which, doesn't really mention personal devices at all, so much as getting and giving back to seniors).
Hp's 7 Laws of Fearless Living. I *loved* the points in this. Good to think about as you consider your current position in life.
CBC's Tropicana Orange Juice lawsuits question 'natural' status.
HP's What's in your God Box? Hmm... I'm going to let you read this one on your own.
Random, but The Traveler's Lunchbox, The Well-Salted Tart. I want to make this. AR, I think you would be happy if I did, so I'll get back to you ;)
Ah! This was an interesting site; Wheat Belly (linked to About the Author which kind of gives the synopsis of what he's about) which exposes thoughts on wheat and the detriments it's causing to our health.. and depending on your current nutrition beliefs, you may (or may not, but I'm not sure how) agree with.
lifehacker's The Snarky Voice in Your Head is Killing Your Productivity; Here's How to Stop It. I liked this, too, and have often found myself guilty (so often! eek!) of the negative inner voice and this will cause you to be mindful of curbing your "inner asshole". Or at least, bring it to your attention and you can decide what you want to do. (C'mon.. tell me you're not guilty of some of these points.)
This is a blog post on how to Scare Yourself Every Day, if you're into personal challenges or need a kick in the arse for motivation to try something different. This may or may not be for you.
HP's Tithing In Canada: Churchgoers Divided Over Donating Percentage of Their Income. An interesting read about tithing rules, practices, beliefs of different denominations. The statistics are interesting.
Wow! That was a lot I had saved up, eh? I'd be interested what you thought of any of them.
The only other thing I have to write about is a new love; a dear friend of mine whom I've known for a few years. The catch? (..cause there's always one in Jody's life) He's in Europe. Which means I have a helluva'n adventure ahead of me if it works out. I hope it does :) Think positive, people! :)
Due to possible impending move, I've been trying to adapt to a more minimalist way of living. Not that I have a lot of stuff or am materialistic, but am second-thinking purchases. Oh.. ha.. except for this. Well, it didn't even cost me anything, but I have to show you; with my airmiles I saved up, I got a new Henckels knife set. It's so pretty. It's sitting on my counter, constantly whispering every day, "Use me!"
Ooooh.... ahhhh.... teh pretty.. (thanks to AC for photoshop)
I'm applying for a new job and need your positive thoughts for that, too! It's in a kitchen in a higher-end hotel in the city; I'm really feeling pulled towards it.
That's all for now. I need to make me some lunch. Hope the week is treating you well. I'll be hitting up the Jazz Festival this weekend with a couple friends (including a close friend coming in from out of town) and I can't wait. My favourite time of year.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Kitchen Frustration
I just realized I would have more room in my cupboards (I'm constantly grumbling that I'm out of space) if I took my cookbooks out. I would love to display them - but I have nowhere to put them!
/frustration
/frustration
Thursday, June 14, 2012
"Yes, Chef!"
Okay, so I haven't been able to shout the inevitable words, "YES, CHEF!" yet, but it'll come. I mean, I'm just a dishwasher; they don't have much need for me. Yet.
The shift went very well. I was told, "You kicked it" among other various accolades by the end of the night. Right on. Cause dude.. I fell behind a couple times (more than a couple). I have a very small space to process a very large amount of dishes. Keep in mind I'm working *in* the kitchen with everyone else - which means I'm surrounded by heat, fast movements and a lot of noise. And I have to put away these dishes *while* they're working, dancing around them to get in and out to put something in place. It's crazy. Sometimes I couldn't get in to put things away and they had to pile up a bit. #OCD
The people were fantastic and welcomed me on whole-heartedly. We joked around a lot and they were completely open about letting me ask questions about what they were doing or letting me watch for a minute (at one point the executive chef was carving a veal heart - *so* interesting to watch, but I never got to ask what parts are served, go where, how prepared, etc. Not my cup of tea, but interesting, nonetheless.). And I was also served and offered absolutely fantastic food :)
Now, having said all that, I also have been forced very quickly to step out of my comfort zone (which, of course, is never comfortable). I'm soft spoken by nature, but you can't survive like that in a restaurant kitchen. If you don't tell someone, "Walking behind!", you or them are liable to get face-planted on a 500-degree burner and/or hotplate and/or open flame. Not my idea of a good time. The heat radiating off these surfaces is intense, just walking by. So in the name of safety, for my protection and those around me, I got very used to, very quickly saying, "Behind!". Also, there were times I had to re-direct dishes (from the servers, post-dinner consumption; when I have pans and hot items in the sink, we don't want dinner plates etc in there) and I had to tell them after a while to put them to the side. I was letting them ALL pile up until someone suggested otherwise.
I did minor food prep and did plate a few desserts. Easy.
I came home with an aching body. I could barely move. My feet sore, my hands aching from grabbing so many items. I hadn't eaten in hours. And I was absolutely giddy. Despite the craziness, feeling a bit out of sorts because it was a new environment... I felt comfortable. If I wasn't watching, I was listening. After a while I could feel the flow and have an idea what would be called when (for pickup). When I came home, I crashed. Heck, I don't even think I remembered to brush my teeth last night. I had a spoonful or two of yogurt and went to bed. Random side note; do you know how depressing it is to come home to a fridge filled with a) barely anything and b) less-than-stellar items after spending a few hours surrounded by French cuisine? I just stood at the fridge, door open and went, "Ugh." Closed it and walked away. I think I fell asleep before 1am.
I'm going to bake today; I've got some bananas to use up, so making bread. I can't complain too much about my state today; my body is a bit sore, but not much. Not used to all the work (I work hard at the hospital, but it's a different kind of work). My feet on the other hand...sore. I have a sensitive left ankle and I really should get orthotics. Maybe someday when I get more money.
I'm back Friday and officially on staff :)
Anyways, I'm rambling. Sorry. Thanks for listening. Wish me luck Friday - I'm going to have twice the amount of dishes and not a place to put them! :)
The shift went very well. I was told, "You kicked it" among other various accolades by the end of the night. Right on. Cause dude.. I fell behind a couple times (more than a couple). I have a very small space to process a very large amount of dishes. Keep in mind I'm working *in* the kitchen with everyone else - which means I'm surrounded by heat, fast movements and a lot of noise. And I have to put away these dishes *while* they're working, dancing around them to get in and out to put something in place. It's crazy. Sometimes I couldn't get in to put things away and they had to pile up a bit. #OCD
The people were fantastic and welcomed me on whole-heartedly. We joked around a lot and they were completely open about letting me ask questions about what they were doing or letting me watch for a minute (at one point the executive chef was carving a veal heart - *so* interesting to watch, but I never got to ask what parts are served, go where, how prepared, etc. Not my cup of tea, but interesting, nonetheless.). And I was also served and offered absolutely fantastic food :)
Now, having said all that, I also have been forced very quickly to step out of my comfort zone (which, of course, is never comfortable). I'm soft spoken by nature, but you can't survive like that in a restaurant kitchen. If you don't tell someone, "Walking behind!", you or them are liable to get face-planted on a 500-degree burner and/or hotplate and/or open flame. Not my idea of a good time. The heat radiating off these surfaces is intense, just walking by. So in the name of safety, for my protection and those around me, I got very used to, very quickly saying, "Behind!". Also, there were times I had to re-direct dishes (from the servers, post-dinner consumption; when I have pans and hot items in the sink, we don't want dinner plates etc in there) and I had to tell them after a while to put them to the side. I was letting them ALL pile up until someone suggested otherwise.
I did minor food prep and did plate a few desserts. Easy.
I came home with an aching body. I could barely move. My feet sore, my hands aching from grabbing so many items. I hadn't eaten in hours. And I was absolutely giddy. Despite the craziness, feeling a bit out of sorts because it was a new environment... I felt comfortable. If I wasn't watching, I was listening. After a while I could feel the flow and have an idea what would be called when (for pickup). When I came home, I crashed. Heck, I don't even think I remembered to brush my teeth last night. I had a spoonful or two of yogurt and went to bed. Random side note; do you know how depressing it is to come home to a fridge filled with a) barely anything and b) less-than-stellar items after spending a few hours surrounded by French cuisine? I just stood at the fridge, door open and went, "Ugh." Closed it and walked away. I think I fell asleep before 1am.
I'm going to bake today; I've got some bananas to use up, so making bread. I can't complain too much about my state today; my body is a bit sore, but not much. Not used to all the work (I work hard at the hospital, but it's a different kind of work). My feet on the other hand...sore. I have a sensitive left ankle and I really should get orthotics. Maybe someday when I get more money.
I'm back Friday and officially on staff :)
Anyways, I'm rambling. Sorry. Thanks for listening. Wish me luck Friday - I'm going to have twice the amount of dishes and not a place to put them! :)
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Quiet Weekend
It's my last weekend off for a little while. I kind of got used to this.. having weekends off.. thing. I often found myself twiddling my thumbs once in a while unsure of what to do and how to fill time, but it was quickly filled with reading, knitting, movie-watching (btw, Red State, by Kevin Smith? Wow) and today.. baking. GF Dark Chocolate Brownies. They're baking as I speak. Mmmm. I was going to do laundry, but it's being used. Ah, the joys of communal facilities; these days, I soon hope will end.
I've hit a bit of a wall in my self-work. I'm at a pinnacle of, "What am I afraid of?" but I have no answer (or I have an answer and my subconscious isn't ready to voice it yet). Am I afraid to truly be happy (pertaining to relationships (or not))? Am I afraid of success? Am I afraid of branching off with a sort-of new career? Ugh.. this all sends knots in my stomach, so I'm going to say yes. Perhaps not fear, but definite anxiety. There's a lot more I can say here, but it's a bit too personal just yet and not ready for publication. I know, this blog is a bit of a bare-all, but, this will have to wait. *breathes out the anxiety and remembers to re-visit it later*
Mmm.. I smell chocolaaaate...
Was referred to and visited a Dermatologist last week; had a mole removed my doctor was concerned about (my third). On my back - so it's impossible for self-care. Thank goodness for nurse friends :) Stitches come out and results obtained in a few days. Melanoma, I'm told, spreads fast and is one of the cancers that can actually kill you, so we're swift to stay on top of things.
Choir has been going well, but I'm not at all pleased with my voice. I start out alright, but my voice gets worse with use (read: not one constant range, not strong, wavers). It was suggested I might be developing a cold and I have been coughing a bit more than not lately, so possible. I just wish I knew how to sing *properly*. Vocal lessons, I *cannot* afford.
~Wow~ Whoever said GF food has to be dull and tasteless has NOT tasted these brownies. God, I'm a fabulous baker. See? This is why I need to move and obtain a larger kitchen. The space I have now does NOT suffice.
Alright.. the rest of the evening calls and I think I'm going to kick back with a movie on TV, some knitting, dinner and brownie-eating :) Hope y'all have had a great weekend and got to relax before a new week begins. If it's cold where you are - stay warm!
I've hit a bit of a wall in my self-work. I'm at a pinnacle of, "What am I afraid of?" but I have no answer (or I have an answer and my subconscious isn't ready to voice it yet). Am I afraid to truly be happy (pertaining to relationships (or not))? Am I afraid of success? Am I afraid of branching off with a sort-of new career? Ugh.. this all sends knots in my stomach, so I'm going to say yes. Perhaps not fear, but definite anxiety. There's a lot more I can say here, but it's a bit too personal just yet and not ready for publication. I know, this blog is a bit of a bare-all, but, this will have to wait. *breathes out the anxiety and remembers to re-visit it later*
Mmm.. I smell chocolaaaate...
Was referred to and visited a Dermatologist last week; had a mole removed my doctor was concerned about (my third). On my back - so it's impossible for self-care. Thank goodness for nurse friends :) Stitches come out and results obtained in a few days. Melanoma, I'm told, spreads fast and is one of the cancers that can actually kill you, so we're swift to stay on top of things.
Choir has been going well, but I'm not at all pleased with my voice. I start out alright, but my voice gets worse with use (read: not one constant range, not strong, wavers). It was suggested I might be developing a cold and I have been coughing a bit more than not lately, so possible. I just wish I knew how to sing *properly*. Vocal lessons, I *cannot* afford.
~Wow~ Whoever said GF food has to be dull and tasteless has NOT tasted these brownies. God, I'm a fabulous baker. See? This is why I need to move and obtain a larger kitchen. The space I have now does NOT suffice.
Alright.. the rest of the evening calls and I think I'm going to kick back with a movie on TV, some knitting, dinner and brownie-eating :) Hope y'all have had a great weekend and got to relax before a new week begins. If it's cold where you are - stay warm!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Healing
So, it was a most excellent weekend spent with friends and family :)
Saturday I was able to whip up a batch of Shortbread Chocolate Chip Cookies (melt in your mouth) and had a friend over in the evening for dinner and a bit of football watching. Sunday I was Mass and breakfast and headed home to meet a friend at the pub quickly to pick up a stained glass piece she did for me, then I had to get home 'cause my sister was coming to pick me up to see the new baby. He's so adorable. So... we spent time in the hospital with baby and the new parents (I got to hog him and hold him for what seemed like forever... and Ienjoyedeveryminuteofit). Oh look - there's that healing circle I was talking about :) We rallied and sat around the bed and talked, shared birthing stories. Then the new parents rested while the rest of us held down the fort/took care of baby/answered phones/took care of carpooling other's kids to-and-from, etc. I myself, came away grounded after visiting the family.
Today I'm doing my own sort of healing (with food!) and cooking a stew in the oven; it takes 4 hours. I think about how we (past and present) rally around in the kitchen for meals; the kitchen, when used, is the warmest part of the house (in winter). Unfortunately, Babu doesn't share in my desire to 'share stories over the cutting board'; he just gets greedy and comes to pick up potato peelings :)
I'm going to go spend more time in the kitchen; it's the most enjoyable place for me to be right now. I've got veggies to chop up for snacking and a chickpea salad to make for lunches. Stay warm and attempt to stay stress-free the week before Christmas. Spend time with who makes you happy. Don't lose the art of story-telling; share your stories and reconnect with those close to you.
Saturday I was able to whip up a batch of Shortbread Chocolate Chip Cookies (melt in your mouth) and had a friend over in the evening for dinner and a bit of football watching. Sunday I was Mass and breakfast and headed home to meet a friend at the pub quickly to pick up a stained glass piece she did for me, then I had to get home 'cause my sister was coming to pick me up to see the new baby. He's so adorable. So... we spent time in the hospital with baby and the new parents (I got to hog him and hold him for what seemed like forever... and Ienjoyedeveryminuteofit). Oh look - there's that healing circle I was talking about :) We rallied and sat around the bed and talked, shared birthing stories. Then the new parents rested while the rest of us held down the fort/took care of baby/answered phones/took care of carpooling other's kids to-and-from, etc. I myself, came away grounded after visiting the family.
Today I'm doing my own sort of healing (with food!) and cooking a stew in the oven; it takes 4 hours. I think about how we (past and present) rally around in the kitchen for meals; the kitchen, when used, is the warmest part of the house (in winter). Unfortunately, Babu doesn't share in my desire to 'share stories over the cutting board'; he just gets greedy and comes to pick up potato peelings :)
I'm going to go spend more time in the kitchen; it's the most enjoyable place for me to be right now. I've got veggies to chop up for snacking and a chickpea salad to make for lunches. Stay warm and attempt to stay stress-free the week before Christmas. Spend time with who makes you happy. Don't lose the art of story-telling; share your stories and reconnect with those close to you.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Your (Rhetorical) Tip of the Day
When using a knife, unbeknownst to your knowledge that was just professionally sharpened, please be careful when cutting onions.
I was having a hard go of it last night and a friend invited me for dinner. I helped contribute (anything to work in the kitchen) by making my chickpea salad. I was chopping said onion when... /slice/.. on my thumb. Don't worry, I caught myself in time and it just cut the nail - thank God. No skin was broken at all, but let me tell you, it was a fraction of a millimeter. If I hadn't watched what I was doing.. oh boy.
That's all :)
I was having a hard go of it last night and a friend invited me for dinner. I helped contribute (anything to work in the kitchen) by making my chickpea salad. I was chopping said onion when... /slice/.. on my thumb. Don't worry, I caught myself in time and it just cut the nail - thank God. No skin was broken at all, but let me tell you, it was a fraction of a millimeter. If I hadn't watched what I was doing.. oh boy.
That's all :)
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