Catch Up, Travels & History

Well, another month has flown by.  You shouldn't be surprised it's taken me this long to write (I am surprised, but that's every time I sit down to write; it's like Groundhog Day).

So much to tell, but where do I start?

Choir - I've gone to 2 practices.  Very nice people, very proper and most of them are older. If someone doesn't recognize me they immediately walk up, shake hands and introduce themselves.  Do I remember names?  Not at all.  I do well to remember names at best when in English, but in new circumstances in Dutch - forget it.  Still, I reply in kind and make it obvious I'm the new Canadian girl.  The lady I sat next to last week though was from New York, so her English was fantastic.  Phew.  I will email her and ask her any questions I have; she seemed to know her stuff and communicating with her will be easy.  It turns out we don't sing every Sunday in church, though.  Not what I'm used to, but given current schedules I welcome it.  We don't sing until Feb 23rd, and that's in another church.  It seems we're the parish choir (which would explain our size; I still haven't counted all the people yet but I'm guessing around 40 or so) and we hop around between 3 churches.

I had my interview for the magazine W. volunteers for and submitted not one, but two recipes.  Read by almost 4000 people, they will learn who I am, why I came here and what brings me into the kitchen so often.  So yeah.  I don't know what I'm expecting from it, or that I'm expecting anything at all, but even when you say you "don't care" there is still a part of you that wishes for feedback or some sort of acknowledgement.  So we'll see.

I had to turn down meeting a friend in Paris the other day.  Seriously?  Who gets to say, "Oh, so sorry, but I can't get to France or Switzerland this weekend." Who says that?!  Apparently I do and it blows my mind.  I consider myself fortunate.

Last weekend (or maybe it was the weekend before) W. and I went to Zwolle; We hadn't travelled in some time and I was gettin' antsy.  For the religious folk, Thomas a Kempis settled here in 1399.  The city centre (centrum) is surrounded by a moat and canals for protection (established in the 17th century) and was also surrounded by town walls (which only survive on the north side of the city now). In the town centre in the Grote Markt is the Grote Kerk where public executions took place (we were both surprised to hear this). Unfortunately the church was closed when we got there so we couldn't go in.    I posted a couple pictures on Facebook, but for those that don't have it, I've included them plus a couple more. Click to enlarge.



The Sassenpoort, from 1409 and it's the town's oldest mediëval gate. The following pictures are beneath the gate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Closer, on the outside

 

Outside

Outside (and W.).

 

Grote Kerk (1614) where the executions took place. The sign reads, "Watch and Pray".

 

Part of the town wall. I believe the steps were added after?  But we're not sure.

 

Town wall.

 

Town wall.

 

 

An old church converted to a bookstore. It was pretty :)

 

Town wall (and W.)

 

Town wall, bridge that raises when boats go by in canal.

 

Town wall. Sign out front a restaurant says you're welcome to board on the pannenkoekenship (pancake ship).  Pannenkoeken boats are a Dutch novelty; since the ships aren't used anymore, they're put to use for your eating pleasure.  Not in this visit but a recent one in Leeuwarden, I finally ate at one and it was quite good.  Dutch pannenkoeken (pancakes) are different than North American pancakes (larger and a bit flatter, but not quite a crepe).

 

Onze Lieve Vrouwekerk (Our Lady's Church). They were supposed to be open but opened late, even despite waiting around 20 min for them. Originally a Catholic church (the last sermon was in 1580), the Protestants took it over in the Reformation and finally gave it back in 1809.

 

Entrance to unknown church.  Guessing from the way it's set up, it's not used very often.

 

 

This city was amazing.  I got to geek out in a couple kitchen stores (I will be back!) and I got to touch walls that are 700 years old.  I was out of my head.  Incredibly humbling.  I could imagine those walls have seen a lot and I, in a way, felt my place in the world.  Small, but significant.  Each one of us makes up a whole and contributes to some sort of history. 

 



Phew! That was a lot.  So.. I need to not sit at the computer anymore :)  Hope you enjoyed the pics!  I am going to have lunch, do some cleaning up and organizing and prepping tonight's dinner.  W. has planned a surprise for me for my 6th-month anniversary here (which was actually Jan. 4th).  Can't wait!

 

Doeg!



Utrecht

Last weekend we went to Utrecht on a whim.  We had no plans on the Sunday and felt like being adventurous.  Utrecht was one of the cities open so we went on a day trip.  We got a bit of a late start to the day, leaving just before noon (on a 2.5 hr train ride) but arrived just fine and enjoyed the city. 

We went to see the Domkerk (Dom church) first off.  The current building as it stands was built in the 1300's and the nave was destroyed by a hurricane in the 1600's.  So what exists now is the rear of the church (more details on Wiki) and the tower.  There's plenty of seating and they have a beautiful organ.  Any carvings or statues of saints (attached to the walls) are destroyed, usually in the face area, from the Reformation.  There are a couple tombs inside which is pretty cool.  Unfortunately I was unable to take pictures as they weren't allowed. 

After that we walked around, in and out of shops (I found a kitchen store to die for - they had everything - but unfortunately one of the few stores in the Netherlands that does not ship online).  We went for dinner at a restaurant (with horrible service, but good food) seated down on the water beside the canal.  It was a great spot.  A little cool; a scarf was required, but still enjoyable. 

They are much more fashionable in Utrecht.  They also had a laisez-faire attitude about the day, stopping and resting on marble steps, soaking in the sun.  Typical what you'd expect from the French, but not behaviour I'd associate with the Dutch.  It was nice to see and also experience.

Looking across from us when we were having dinner.  They've made use of the canal space below ground and created restaurant seating.

View from the table.  We also saw people in paddleboats or small motor boats go through the canal.  A wonderful way to tour the city and relax. Almost *every* boat had beer in it (Heineken), something, I told W., you would *not* see in Canada.

View of Domkerk in the street

Domkerk tower.

Small alleyway near Domkerk. I think this was attached to or very close to the church tower and there was a small area blocked off by a black iron gate that held the stone remains from the circular stairs that would have gone up. Meant to take a picture of that; sorry :/

Introductions, Dining and Franeker

Well, Amsterdam didn't happen.  Once we started mapping out the day, it would have taken us 3 hours to get there, to spend 6, to travel 3 more home, to get in at a good time (he works today).  We were sad about it, but it just wasn't realistic.  Amsterdam is a place that when you travel, you need to spend it overnight.  At least for us.  Or, have a car, drive part way to a city centre then take the train the rest of the way in.  Having no car, we'll have to go with option #1.

So, we made different plans.  Having events change in the morning, we spent part of the day with his kids & ex.  I got to meet everyone all at once for the first time.  Yaaaaaaay.  *cough*  Well, with 3 kids it can be very tiring, but it was a good visit.  They took to me very well; especially his oldest.  That was nice.

After that visit, we went to Franeker where there is the Eise Eisinga Planetarium museum (linked in English).  Quick history: this planeterium is the oldest working planeterium in the world.  Very small as it's based out of the man's house (or what would have been his house at the time).  He understood how the stars and planets worked, and when people were in fear of the world ending (as was thought at the time), he actually built a working solar system in his living room to show people that it wasn't - and why/how.  He cared about calming the masses and we thought that was a pretty special trait to have.  All the little cogs in the working solar system were made by hand, all hand-forged nails (10,000 to be exact).  Wiki shows you a couple pictures, but I went to the museum's website and it showed on more of the inner workings of the cog/weight system (if you view it in Dutch it shows even more pictures, not sure why. P. S - Google Chrome is your friend).

After getting some rich history, I started to feel ill and needed to eat.  W. asked the woman if she could advise any places in the area.  We ended up going to an inn just down the street.  I really enjoyed this place and would like to go back.

This view was was side of the footbridge we crossed to get to the inn.  Note the steep banks on the left, which would have been defence mechanisms for the town from the canals. 

This is the inn, the view on the other side of the footbridge.  Their seating area goes right down to the water (to the right) - and that's where we got to sit!  

This dining experience was absolutely lovely.  Dining in Europe is way different than back home.  Back home it's.... come in, get addressed within 30 seconds (on a good day), order, eat, leave so the next people can come in.  It's all about turnover.  Here.. it's sit, relax for a few minutes.  A minute or two later your server comes to ask if you'd like anything to drink, if you're there to eat (if you want a menu).  Menu is brought, we look it over and eventually order. They really leave you to relax and enjoy the entire meal.  If you're not expecting this, to a North American, it could seem as very slow service.   First we were brought tapas (if we'd known they were bringing this, we wouldn't have ordered appetizers).

Sorry, I took the picture after we started eating it :/  Note my glass of lemon water (holy lemons, batman. That's what I call service) to the right.  It comes with a stick, which apparently quite common.  At the end of the stick is a flat peice TO GET MORE JUICE OUT OF YOUR LEMON WITHOUT HAVING TO TOUCH IT.  Also, to keep it at the bottom when you drink, if you so choose.  Y'all in North American need to get on that.  If they exist, I haven't once seen where.  And I order a lot of water. 

Apps and dinner were perfectly times apart (we got the house steak) and were very good. Then came dessert.  Sweet holy Jesus.  They didn't have anything on the menu I could have (dairy-free) so I got a coffee.  He got strawberry tiramisu.  

This was our dessert spread.  My coffee came with various sugars and bon-bons.  There's another tiramisu above my coffee that we didn't order but weren't sure if it was part of the whole "comes with bon-bons" thing.  We ate it anyways :P

Check out the layering of that coffee.  Impressive.  

W.'s tiramisu, strawberries, (real) whipped cream and a strawberry liqeur.  Yum.

The sun was out that afternoon and it was hot, though there was a cool breeze (it was perfect).  While the sun was very hot, the UV index was only... 1.  I'm not even lying.  We were there for almost 2.5 hours and I didn't even turn pink.  If we'd done that back home, I would have been walking home with 2nd degree burns.  

More than pleasantly sated (we were stuffed), we headed home after a very long day.  Let's just say we slept very well last night. 

Lazy Sundays

Hoi!  Goeimiddag.  Het is zondag.  (Hi! Good day. It is Sunday.)

The extent of my Dutch doesn't go beyond that; I'm trying to learn Dutch in a Frisian-speaking town so it hinders my learning a bit.  I'm getting more anxious to learn, so perhaps we'll put the push on more.  Anyways.. that's that.

We spent a wonderful day in Groningen yesterday.  The weather was perfect, though it seems to be almost every day; cool in the morning, warm and sunny in the afternoon, then cooling back down around dinner time.  He took me to a French cafe (he knows me so well) where we each had an open-faced sandwich, fresh-squeezed orange juice and we shared pain au chocolat (chocolate croissant).  We sat outside and it couldn't have been more "European".  I'm definitely going back for more.

We went to Mass which is in English on a Saturday.  The church is beautiful, if you've seen my pictures on Facebook.  I have to say, though, I felt happier in the Dutch/Sunday Mass than I did Saturday.  Saturday is more low-key of course, so no big choir (just a couple people) and it's hard to get into things when they sing songs/hymns differently than you're used to, right down to the Allelujiah.  Now, in the Dutch Mass, they sang most Mass parts in Latin.  That was surprising, but nice.  All I could say at the time was, "Thank goodness COOL taught me how to sing Latin," but even those were sung to a different tune.  Anyways, they were all nice experiences.  I'm having a hard time finding a Dutch Missal, though.  I asked the priest last night but he seemed in a hurry to get somewhere and not too concerned to help me.  *shrug*

We passed a restaurant not yet open, on the way to Mass.  It's an Italian restaurant.  Fine dining.  I'm so tempted to apply.  I really should take some time to still integrate and get used to life here, but, I'm getting antsy :)  I'd really like to start working again, even if it's one day a week, I don't care.  I'm not sure they'll hire me, speaking mostly only English, so my chances are poor.  Anyways, we'll see, eh?

 It's a slower pace here, in the Netherlands.  On Sunday's, everything is closed (IMO how it should be) and it's a day to sun-bathe, do yard work, rest inside, whatever you like.  We were going to go to Leeuwarden today and hit up the city (or a museum or something), but with everything closed, we decided to stay home and save money (I want to see the city when everything's open).  Today, for us, is taking it easy, minor things around the house, create a grocery list for the coming week and maybe kick back with a movie or two.  Oh!  And go for a walk.  I'm making a (whole) chicken for dinner tonight.  Okay, chicken, btw, is WAY cheaper than back home.  We bought I think, 5 pieces of boneless/skinless chicken breast yesterday for just over 6 euros.  Back home, that nearly would have cost almost $20.  The whole chicken, free-range btw, was close to 7 euros.  Seven.  wtf?  And wine is cheaper, so I don't know if we're over-pricing or they're under-quality.  I've tasted the wine and it's quite nice, so.. I don't know.  

To show you how liberal the country is, we took a picture of a poster/advertisement of an exhibition at the Groningen Museum (contains language, sorry if this offends anyone).  For the fact I have to apologize that it contains language, shows how different our cultures are.  They're not apologetic and see it as every-day language, but don't mis-understand that it gets used often.  It doesn't.  Right, well, W. took it with his phone (I didn't have mine on me at the time) and hasn't shared it with me, so I'll just have to tell you.  Sorry :/  It's called "Fuck Off 2".  It's this HUGE poster, like, building-size.  It's crazy.  

Okay.. best I move on to other things.  Will try to write more through the week with the differences I've noticed.  I really should write things down.  Hope y'all are having a great week!  Tot ziens!

Appearances

Yeah... so... hi.

Been a while, I know.  I think this is how it's going to be for a while.  I apologize in advance.  My distractions have been elsewhere and I hope to do a bit of explaining just where they've been.  I'm quite tired though (is it sad I'm this tired at 8:30 at night?), so forgive me for keeping this short.

My new love is treating me well.  So well, that it's most of the reason I haven't been here to talk to you.  We are in a habit now of Skype'ing every night (which is a luxury I'm daily thankful for), for either an hour.. or four.  It's nice and it makes me happy :)  Every day I'm learning something about him and it makes me smile.  I'm a very lucky girl to find someone so understanding, patient and loving.  It's nice to be accepted *with* your faults (not despite them) and encouraged to grow in them.  Yup, he's a special one.  I still don't want to say too much publicly for now, but all you need to know is things are going very, very well :)

Which is why I'm tired at night and shut down early.  After our talks (which can end anywhere from 5:30pm to 8-8:30) I'm done.  I've committed energy to Skype'ing which is a bit more involved than an actual in-person visit because special attention is given to shitty connections (across an ocean, of course) and making sure you hear everything the other says, if not repeat.  We also talk about a lot of in-depth things, so that also takes attention.  So after our calls, I don't feel like doing much else.  He's gone to bed (he's 6 hrs ahead) and I have an hour or three to get my stuff together for the next day.  Which means not writing you here :(  But I haven't forgotten about you!  I promise I'll write anytime something comes up.

Like bake sales!

I'm entering yet another table at work of my baked goods.  It's an annual November Fair we have that's mostly a craft show, but some people put in food items.  I'm stressing with what to make, how much to make (it's very high traffic).  I have a good idea, but not everything is finalized and it's driving my OCD a bit nuts.  I know I'm a last-minute person, but this is crazy.  Anyways, the sale is this Friday (eek!) so wish me luck!!

I started the fourth season of Doctor Who (newer series; the tenth Doctor) tonight.  Exciting :)  Enter: Donna.

Can't think of much else to tell you.  Babu is doing well and driving me nuts on a daily basis.  I've been mostly healthy aside from usual tummy-troubles made worse from a virus a couple months ago.  When you already have a weak system, it takes so long to bounce back from something like that.  I'm almost ready to throw in the towel.  Dude, if you have a healthy digestive system...BE THANKFUL.

I hope everyone is doing well.  I think of you, even if we haven't spoken in a while.  Once the craziness subsides, I will be in touch.  These days, I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and it's almost getting to be a little too much, yet I can't think of a way ahead or how to dig my way out.  I said last Christmas winter will quiet down and I'll finally be able to get to mundane things that I once liked doing.  So far?  It hasn't stopped.    In a year.  Is this how life is now?  Where did I go wrong?  Did I go wrong?  How have I committed myself in so many ways that I'm leaving nothing left for...nothing?

*faint*

That's what tonight was for; Doctor Who lets me chill out for an hour.  Did I feel guilty the entire time because I know there's things I need to be doing?  Absolutely.  And I ignored it, cause, I need to stay sane, yo.  So.. I chilled.

Me, lately, in a nutshell.

P.S - How have I not had a Doctor Who tag?!  Now, a Doctor Who tag.  Just 'cause.

Relax, I Cannot

I'm hating my body right now.  I'm absolutely, invariably physically exhausted; my brain, on the other hand, not so much.  I can barely keep my head up, but the rest of me is fidgety.  Napping today has been impossible and something that happened to other people (or Babu).  I've even gone to far as to bring my laptop to the bed tonight (my battery is toast so I have to plug in and it's a real PITA).  I need to stay IN BED so this is how I'm forcing myself.  I'm even writing this in stages.. I just don't have the energy otherwise.  Part of me wants to clean, the other part.. can't.  Besides, when one lives alone, one has to feed one's cat, clean the litter box, make something resembling a meal, lots of teas and water so there's often not a choice.  Okay, so I'm not as cranky today... but no less whiney :P

I ran an errand today to test my energy to see if I can handle work tomorrow.  Meh.  Not great but not horrible.  Once I got over the exhaustion from just putting on my boots, as soon as I got out and going I wasn't too bad.  And it was beautiful weather.  I wish I was better to enjoy it more.  So.. I will attempt work tomorrow.  I hate that I have to; I believe if you're sick you should stay home (especially if one works at a hospital, in contact with those who's immune systems are also taking a beating), but staying home doesn't pay the bills.  This is when it sucks to be a part-timer; no paid sick time.  In fact, this is one of those, "I hate working at the hospital" days; there's no leniency with time off (and getting it can be very difficult).  I tried arranging to work only half a shift, but I was refused, saying they'd prefer me to work it or not at all, offering the shift to someone for the full 7.5hrs.  Who gives a rats ass as long as it's worked?

Anyways, with some of the forced rest the past couple days, I've done a lot of thinking.  Good thinking, y'know, working out stuff.  I won't write it all to you yet, but I'll tell you how interesting it is how much we carry around our past with us.  And I mean, how much it has the potential to weigh us down without us realizing how much.  I've had depression since I was 16; 98.5% of the time I've dealt with it medication-free and I'm confident to say the older I get, the easier it is to deal with.  It never goes away, but one develops particular coping strategies.  So yeah, it's easier for me to look at the 'darker' side of things most of the time; it's sort of instinctual.  If you see this in me, have patience with me please - know it's something I'm working on; but with the new things I've unearthed the past couple days, might help alleviate that even further.  I'm kind of excited.

Babu's sleeping on the pillow beside me and he's snoring. He's so cute.  His legs are going into little spasms.  He must be dreaming.

Well, I'm going to go have dessert (homemade applesauce), figure out how to breathe better and warm up some (also homemade) chai tea... then I'll think of something I can do with my eyes closed (besides sleep, which will happen in about an hour).  I wrote half of this with my eyes closed.  Woo!  Look at me and my mad typing skillz (yes, I proof-read) ;)    Maybe listen to music?

Hope y'all are having a good weekend and enjoying the weather, wherever you are :)  Stay healthy!

Quiet Weekend

It's my last weekend off for a little while.  I kind of got used to this.. having weekends off.. thing.  I often found myself twiddling my thumbs once in a while unsure of what to do and how to fill time, but it was quickly filled with reading, knitting, movie-watching (btw, Red State, by Kevin Smith?  Wow) and today.. baking.  GF Dark Chocolate Brownies.  They're baking as I speak.  Mmmm.  I was going to do laundry, but it's being used.  Ah, the joys of communal facilities; these days, I soon hope will end.

I've hit a bit of a wall in my self-work.  I'm at a pinnacle of, "What am I afraid of?" but I have no answer (or I have an answer and my subconscious isn't ready to voice it yet).  Am I afraid to truly be happy (pertaining to relationships (or not))?  Am I afraid of success?  Am I afraid of branching off with a sort-of new career?  Ugh.. this all sends knots in my stomach, so I'm going to say yes.  Perhaps not fear, but definite anxiety.  There's a lot more I can say here, but it's a bit too personal just yet and not ready for publication.  I know, this blog is a bit of a bare-all, but, this will have to wait.  *breathes out the anxiety and remembers to re-visit it later*

Mmm.. I smell chocolaaaate...

Was referred to and visited a Dermatologist last week; had a mole removed my doctor was concerned about (my third).  On my back - so it's impossible for self-care.  Thank goodness for nurse friends :)  Stitches come out and results obtained in a few days.  Melanoma, I'm told, spreads fast and is one of the cancers that can actually kill you, so we're swift to stay on top of things.

Choir has been going well, but I'm not at all pleased with my voice.  I start out alright, but my voice gets worse with use (read: not one constant range, not strong, wavers).  It was suggested I might be developing a cold and I have been coughing a bit more than not lately, so possible.  I just wish I knew how to sing *properly*.  Vocal lessons, I *cannot* afford.

~Wow~  Whoever said GF food has to be dull and tasteless has NOT tasted these brownies.  God, I'm a fabulous baker.  See?  This is why I need to move and obtain a larger kitchen.  The space I have now does NOT suffice.

Alright.. the rest of the evening calls and I think I'm going to kick back with a movie on TV, some knitting, dinner and brownie-eating :)  Hope y'all have had a great weekend and got to relax before a new week begins.  If it's cold where you are - stay warm!

Fix Me

I've got the PGA Tour on today.  Had it on yesterday too and will likely have it on again tomorrow.  I like watching it, but also like having it as background noise.  I find it very calming.  I'm a little sad McIlroy's out (from what I understand), though tendon injuries will do that to ya.  Not sad Tiger's out; he's lost his game and needs to take a break, I think.  Also, keep an eye on Keegan Bradley; slowly turning out to be a sure thing, I think.  This one's a tricky course; lots of sand and water hazards.

I'm a bit down after my previous posts.  Didn't go to Mass tonight; partly tired from work, part didn't feel like it, part a voice telling me I should stay in.  So I stayed in.  Might sit back with a movie, a comforting tea, and God help me if I can find any, some chocolate.

I'd like you to understand (since I've bared my soul ~ why stop there?), that it may appear I'm being overly hard on myself.  Sure.. a bit.  It's important to me, though, which is why it's taking such a tole on my soul.  This was the ONE thing I was proud of myself on, was not judging people.  It's not my job.  I leave all that stuff up to our Maker.  Yeah, I know I can be a control-freak, I just didn't realize how much, or how much I really listen to the little voices inside my head (read: how much they conform/suggest my actions).  However I move forward, I don't want to rush any change; I'd like to be cognizant of my actions.  Anyways, that's all for now.

I'm gonna forget about all this (or try) and pop in a movie, sit back with some munchies and have a quiet night.  Hope your having a great weekend so far!

The Day After

You're still reading?  Wow, you're brave.  It seems they haven't locked me up, after all.

Going through inner change feels like an Olympic event.  I'm in good spirits today though, despite last night's.. catapult into some devoid hole.  Maybe I'll decide to not care and get my rocks off anyways.  Who knows.  But that's the devil playing his hand, isn't it.  So we'll see how that battle goes.

I hope you're having a good weekend so far.  At some point I have more French cooking in mind; I'll be attempting Blackberry Butter Cake.  Yum.  I'm re-arranging my bedroom today.  I realized it's not very "Feng Shui".  Maybe that'll improve things.

Well..whatever your plans are.. try and get out and enjoy the weather at some point (if it ever stops raining).  Do something special for yourself; shop, walk, bake, cook, get out for some gardening, top up that bird feeder, have coffee with a friend, read, or do nothing.  And smile :)

I Broke It

I broke my Lent.  I had bacon today with brunch.

And it was glorious.

To be fair, today's a Feast day, so if I understood CZ yesterday, I am allowed.  I wanted to try it, really, because my stomach has not been doing well still, for the past couple weeks and I've been wondering if it's per lack of protein.  Today I'll make a heavy protein day and see what happens (so far it's been positive!).  I've already had half my usual protein.  CZ reminded me that sometimes we do things for ourselves even though we have the best of intentions of doing it for ourselves or for other people (me: giving up meat for dietary reasons, dedicating it to T.) but perhaps what I needed to give up was my pride (realizing I may not be able to go without meat because it's hurting my system too much.  Did any of that make sense?).  That was a hard pill to swallow (what? I'm human to a fault).  Today had been 16 days without meat.  If today continues to go well, I'll have to experiment if I can keep high protein without meat and have the same results, or if I will in fact have to program meat back in.  We'll see!

What else do I need to write about...

I'm finally starting to detox, de-stress and relax.  Of course, the time I do this, my vacation week is almost over and it's back to work Monday.  I will do my best to adapt to a laisez-faire sort of attitude and relax with what time I have left.  There might even be baking today!

Yesterday was nice catching up with a couple of friends I haven't seen in a while, and brunch with one today. I wonder if that's what started to help me unwind - human connection.  Good 'ol girl time.

Today will be filled with bookkeeping and finances.  I need to get my taxes done and do some budgeting and figure out what I really can afford to take on as far as vehicular expenses go.  Wish me luck.

Doctors.  Bloody, bloody doctors.  I hate them all.  I went to see my obgyn yesterday to discuss screening for endometriosis (per my app't with the GI thinking we may need to investigate that).  Well, she doesn't go "looking for it" and she threw me in the classification of "well, everyone has pain during their cycle" and "everyone's bowels are affected by their cycle".  Really?  I must not be the same cause when I gave her an analogy of the pain I'm having, she was a bit taken aback.  So, I can see this is going to go well.  Can you imagine?  My IBS as a result of stupid endometriosis?  The con: treated with hormones, which I DON'T want.  Anyways, I can rant forever about this and I don't want to right now, so... sorry 'bout that.

Canada will be going into election territory in May.  We're displeased.  The current government is toppling and we don't want Mr. Harper in power anymore, yet no one wants to go to the polls (they're far too frequent here, I fear).  So this will be interesting.

Well, daylight's burning so I better get my shit done.  It's Friday!!  For some of you, that's a blessing, for those who work this weekend, sorry :(  Hang in there.  It's sunny here (though very cold), so try and enjoy the day!

Laissez-Faire, I Am Not

I'm looking outside at the nice snowfall.  The temperature is supposed to rise and rise to a balmy -2C overnight. Joyous.  I won't be freezing my ass off whenever I walk somewhere.

I think I'll make a tea; I'm feeling something in my throat.  Serves me right; I haven't taken orange juice or my vitamin C or D for a few days, I think.

I was sitting back reading my French cookbook and I've found another recipe to tackle - Tarte au Citron.  I can't wait.  It causes me to buy a zester and a tart pan (with removable bottom, that I was going to use for another chocolate tart recipe anyways).  Oh, darn ;)

It got me thinking more; everything that interests me isn't of things around me or of things that SHOULD interest me.  For instance, I'm naturally drawn to Italian language, French cooking/baking & decorating and both lifestyles.  Neither are Canadian (though I dare you to define 'Canadian') and neither are traditionally Dutch (father's side) or Scottish (mother's).  I do have a slight affinity for some things Scottish/Celtic, but it's minimal.  My ex was intensely German, but I don't know if that counts for anything (I tried the language with success, but not keeping it up it lost its luster).  The only thing geographically correct about me is my location!

Bleh.  I've had a few things to write about, but I've got an awful lot on my mind lately and since I've started this post, I've gotten sidetracked several times.  I've been completely absent-minded today and not with it at all (forgetting things, not seeing things I need that are right in front of me).  I had a bit of an emotional time on the mat this morning so.. maybe I just need to not do anything the rest of the day.  I'm going to a movie soon (The King's Speech) so I'll just chill until then.

The Art Of Doing Nothing

The past week has been glorious.  I've had a few days off and afternoon shifts at that, so every day has been relaxing.  I've vowed to adapt to a French or Italian way of living, if you will (however temporary, I'm sure).  Relaxing, napping, reading, knitting, doing up the few dishes after a couple of meals (instead of letting them sit for a day or two).  A lot of work has been done around the apartment; (much needed) cleaning, organizing, throwing away of things old.  I feel a little more at peace and a little less OCD.  I'm not rushed.  Doing things when I need to do them, not putting them off, concentrating on the effort at the task at hand and not on anything else, then resting.  As quoted in Eat, Pray, Love, "The art of doing nothing".

Which isn't to say my mind is taking example.  I'm still thinking and over-thinking things.  I find it's easier to be mad at someone else, than yourself (which isn't at all proper and I recognize this).  That's all I'll say about that.  Maybe I should write a post, 'The Art Of Letting Go'.  Ugh.  I swear it's a daily battle.

I've been practicing my yoga semi-daily; it has also helped me slow down.

Stopping the hectic that is life will hopefully help my stomach.  Not that I ever scarf down food or eat like it's going out of style, but practicing slow digestion re-trains the system to recognize itself again, notices upsets (thus perhaps prevent said upsets).  Not my goal, but hopefully a positive by-product.  This is also adapted after French or Italian ways, non?

Which brings me to say.. and this is very odd perhaps to hear.. but have you ever felt like you're living where you're not meant to live?  Ever since I was a child I've felt like a foreigner in this country.  I've ALWAYS felt I should be in Europe.  Always.  I'm first generation Canadian on my fathers side (Dutch) so maybe it's just cause it's...literally... in my blood?  I don't know.  But I don't feel I belong here.  This is the first time I've made that thought public.  I've adapted, but only because I've had to.  My head and heart have always been overseas.  Perhaps a subconscious reason for picking foreign men.  Interesting reason, that.

And I think I'll depart on that note.