The River Again..

I finally uploaded that other river picture.  I hope you can see it okay; the top is kind of dark. That big tree in the middle is new; must have fell during one of our storms in the winter.  There's another couple of trees that fell down river; must not have been able to take the weight of the snow/ice.  It's a very relaxing spot :)

Quiet Weekend

Remember the picture I posted not long ago of the river from the footbridge?  This is it last Friday....

And this next picture is a spot down the river (as viewed in the above picture) where there's a railing to stand to just.. well.. watch the river, I guess.  I find it very peaceful, listening to the rumble of the water as it rushes down...

There was a third picture, but it didn't copy over to my email and I'm too tired at this point so it'll have to wait (it's just an extended shot from here, of the rest of the river).  I'll take new pics when things start to turn green again.

Weekend was good.  Quiet.  Some socializing.  Chores.  Studying.  You know how some Sundays can be; you clean everything up, then you make a big dinner and everything's dirty again (I'm saving THAT mess for tomorrow).

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Quotes

People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.
~ George Bernard Shaw

The Awe of Space

Biomes posted a link to Saturn pics, when Saturn had its Equinox last summer.  These pictures are amazing, even if you're not a space person.  But... am I reading them correctly?  That the rings are hundreds of km's across?  Someone needs to confirm that for me, cause that's crazy.  That means Saturn is HUGE if the rings alone are that wide.  And if it's that big, why the heck can't we see Saturn from earth?  And who knew it had so many moons.

Just amazing.

A Fun Evening

Warning: sensitive topic ahead.

Tonight was a (pleasant) break from the ordinary.  C.Z asked me to come to the university to meet up with her to see a movie the university's Right to Life group was putting on about euthanasia/end of life care.  I thought, since my opinions haven't been fully developed in this area especially where faith is concerned, I'd give it a go.  So I met up with her in the room (I didn't get lost!) and we saw said movie and had a discussion afterwards.  I think I left more confused than I was going in.  For some reason I can't wrap my head around the fact that suicide is legal and assisted suicide is not.  I don't know why this sticks out, it just does.  I am very much pro-choice about a lot of things in life...but...I guess I'm having a problem with "where do I get to keep my independence yet do what is "morally" correct?"  We always want to do what the right thing is, but what if those "right things" are different from my personal thoughts/values/opinions on subject?  How do we stay at peace with our decision?  There are a million ways you can argue why it's right and there are a million ways you can argue why it's wrong.  Yes it's hard for the family to watch someone suffer (who are often doing worse than the person, because that person is usually wrapped up in survival).  Yes it might not seem like a good 'quality' of life (though we could even extend it and define 'good').  That person may want to die because they don't feel they don't have any dignity left - but what are *we* doing to aid in that dignity?  That compassion.  That supportive role that we can play in helping that person feel better and more positive about themselves and their situation.  No one likes to suffer, but we must do it.  We can question it, but we may not get any answers.  Lets say if I'm dying, suffering may not necessarily teach me a (life) lesson, but it may teach...insert person connected to me here....something.  I don't think it's that I'm for euthanasia, I just don't want anyone to tell me I can't do it.

On a brighter note.....

After said discussion we parted ways.  I was to meet up with C.Z afterwards, about an hour later.  I walked around campus a little, grabbed something to eat and plopped myself at a table in the caf and people-watched :)  Visiting a university is good for the soul.  It's got a good energy, a younger vibe to it.  Wakes you up if you've been sleepin' a while, if you know what I'm sayin' ;)  My friend arrived avec des amis (2, in fact) and we sat and talked and had VERY random conversations.  It was great.  I haven't had laughs like that in a while.  What a great start to the week!  I met new people, got to talk to someone else a little bit more that I'd previously met a few weeks ago.  Part of me is sad that they're not a little older.  Listen, I'm not age-discriminating, but there's a difference of demeanor when there's 13 years difference.  I need to meet more people my age.  But, I am happy with these friends - they're very intelligent people that I'm proud to associate with.

Thank God for friends.

My Weekend So Far

It's been a quiet, dreary weekend.  Nothing but rain, save for the snow/sleet we had last night.  That was a surprise.  You know when temps start to warm up you're going to get that "one last snow", you just never know when it is.  Hopefully that was it.

I just went to put my heat pad/bean bag thing in the microwave to heat it up to put on my shoulder, where I found the coffee I'd re-heated this morning for breakfast.  Oops.  And I just made a tea.  I'm re-heating the coffee again :)  I can have tea later.

Mass was interesting last night.  Not interesting so much as the service, but the things that were going through my mind during it.  I know, not paying attention, bad me.  It happens to the best of us.  Anyways, the gospel was about the Prodigal Son*.  I'm really not entirely sure what started this thought process, but I came to realize I don't really know my father and my heart sank and I felt...well, I can't really say.  Sort of a combination of alone, isolated, lowly.  My parents split when I was 3 and I went and saw him every-other weekend (but it was just weekends and I was a kid and I was busy hanging with my siblings, not talking to my father).  Then, when I got older, it became less.  Now, we just see each other a few times a year, even though we're only 20 min apart.  When he was diagnosed with cancer a year or two ago (he's in remission now, no worries), it became very clear very quickly I won't always have him around.  I want to get to know my father.  We don't talk much.  Emails are short, phone calls are even shorter and awkward.  We don't quite know what to say to each other (we're both quiet, reserved people, so it doesn't help).  We've always had a sort of distance between us; sort of a wall.  We don't mean for it to be there, it just is.  So... I'd like to overcome that wall.  I just.... don't know how.  If you've ever had to do anything like this, suggestions are more than welcome.

Also during service, during some announcements, I heard one of my old patients passed away.  My heart sunk again and I sat in a few silent tears.  Audrey was an older lady, say around.. 80-some.  Sweet as pie.  She was in for a while and I got to know her a little.  I knew she liked ice cubes with the drinks I brought her in the evening and made an effort to do so (and she was always very thankful).  We got to talkin' and she was a very devout Catholic (she was transported to a different room one day and I'd asked her where her beads were and she'd mis-placed them, so I went to the Chapel in the hospital and got her a new rosary.  It made her really happy).  We talked about prayers, minor things going on in our lives.  She told me she was being transported to another local hospital for palliative care.  I wasn't sure what was wrong with her but "the news isn't good," she said.  So we'd pray for each other.  She knew bad things were happening and although you could tell she was sad about it, sort of internally dealing with it all, she kept her strength in her faith and I believe that carried her through.  So I'm going to use Audrey as an inspiration.  I'll try to keep my head up and I'll try to remember to lean on my faith when times get tough.  If she can do it after everything she's been through at 80, I can do it now.

*The Prodigal Son is a story of a man who had two sons.  The oldest stayed and cared for his part of the (divided) land.  He remained responsible, obedient, etc.  The youngest took his share, sold it and spent it on dissolute living. When he'd spent everything he had and reached the bottom, he decided to return home back to his family, realizing he'd sinned against his father 'and against heaven'.  The father welcomed him with open arms and there was a party.  The older son was angry and couldn't understand why, if he'd been so obedient, he didn't receive 'the best robes' and 'fatted calf' (feeling hurt and indignant). The father explained he is family and 'what's mine is yours' but they had to rejoice with the younger son coming back because he 'was dead and came back to life and what was lost is found' (he's a valued and treasured member of the family).

Vaccines, Revisited

Below is a rant.  Please accept any opinions are mine alone and may not be popular and I'm okay with that.  I just ask you respect them.  I read something today which sparked 'something' inside that caused said rant and I couldn't seem to shut up about it.  It may or may not make sense........

There was an article today in The Globe and Mail discrediting vaccines as a reason for autism.  It states they found no connection between the additive thermerisol and autism.  At the end of the article, they mention Dr. Andrew Wakefield had done a study connecting autism and bowel disease to the measles vaccine*.  The mention of 'IBD' caught my attention.

Did you know you were vaccinated just under 25 times, by the age of 15 months?  30 times, now with the H1N1 influenza vaccine.  Your first shot is at 2-3 months!  It turns my stomach.  The body hasn't even *begun* to develop yet and already we're sticking chemicals and manufactured synthetic medications in it.  We haven't even won the right to learn to fight diseases, illnesses, colds off ourselves (actually, we have, but that's another argument for another time).  If I keep relating it to IBD, our intestines haven't even had the change to develop themselves and stabilize their unique intestinal flora that helps us fight off illness (a healthy bowel has proven to protect us against the common cold, etc, but again - an argument for a later time).  We're manipulating nature.

I Googled Dr. Wakefield and came across a slew of articles.  His main argument was to isolate the MMR into separate vaccinations.  He wanted to hold off the measles vaccination until further research could be done and wanted the mumps and rubella vaccinations separate, a year apart (a patent was started for this but never completed), thinking the MMR was too much stress for the body to handle at one time.  His paper in The Lancet (a British paper) was discredited and pulled for numerous reasons (allegations against how (by process) he obtained his information.  He's opposed as often as he is supported).  But I kept reading.  I found a couple of pages worth checking out (I was hoping to find a copy of his paper, but no one seems to have record of it, post-retraction).  I'm still not finding a lot of correlation between the vaccination and IBD except here (they keep referring to the mental connections) but I did find a great paper written by him and his colleagues here, in their research defense (I think it's a good read if you have the time).  You can find an abridged version here.

I don't know if all these articles are correct.  They're theories.  Everything's a theory, everyone's got an opinion.  Group A thinks there's a link between vaccinations and autism, Group B thinks there's no correlation and Group C thinks something entirely different (i.e environmental factors).  And you know what?  No one's wrong.  It just makes me think because MY interest is in the G.I tract; what caused my IBS?  No, I don't have autism, though I was never 'quick' or bright as a child, but I do have minor learning disabilities.  And you know what, I'll have to accept it's a cause I'll never find the answer to.  Everything's a theory.

I can't read anymore.  My brain is going to start seeping out of my ears.  Science is a field/career I never got into for a reason - and I respect those who did.  I doff my hat to you.

*The measles vaccine was introduced in 1967.

Can't Win For Losin'

Well, had a more of a down day today.  Frustrated.  Sore.  Just when I think I'm starting to get better, I get worse.  If I take the Naproxen (NSAID), it increases upset stomach, if I don't, I get achy and sore and cranky.  With my already-IBS, it's too much.  Do I live with the pain or do I live with not being able to leave the house because I'm too sick?

Just sayin'.

Human Nature, Pt. II

I was doing some studying tonight (okay, I still am - just taking a break) and while reading my Communications course, I came across this.  I think it kind of ties in with my last post.  We avoid confrontation to avoid conflict, but there doesn't always have to be *conflict*.

Eight Techniques To Find Common Ground

~ Put their case first
~ Build two bridges
~ Offer a choice
~ Give to get
~ Defuse conflict
~ Find something to admire
~ Don't make quitting an option
~ Keep them involved

Okay, so maybe they're more business-oriented, but it doesn't hurt to try to apply some of them to your personal relationships, rather than just your relationships at work.  You end up practicing empathy, assertiveness, compassion, understanding whilst creating options - and that's never a bad thing.

*side note: Re: "don't make quitting an option" - When in personal relationships/friendships, I believe this *can* be an option. Sometimes it's just time to quit - and you both know it.  I'm just a girl who likes to give it her all, is all.  If I try 110%, then I can walk away knowing I did my best and my conscience can be at ease.