He did not say: "You will not be troubled - you will not be tempted - you will not be distressed." But He said: "You will not be overcome".
~ Julian of Norwich, 15th Century Mystic
Monday, July 12, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Rant
Please excuse the following rant. I'm not censoring language. Read at your own peril (or at least, for entertainment).
DON'T MESSAGE ME ON A FUCKING DATING SITE WHEN YOU CAN'T FORM A COMPLETE FUCKING SENTENCE. ALSO, USING "KOOL", "U" OR "i'm" (yes, in lower caps) IS NOT A WAY TO ENTICE A PROSPECTIVE MATE. Hey. Here's an idea. SHOW HER YOU HAVE A FUCKING BRAIN.
*huff*
/rant.
I've lost all complete hope.
Edit: Wait, I'm not done. I forgot something. WHEN YOU'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION, LISTEN TO WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY. DON'T ASK ME A QUESTION, PRETEND TO LISTEN, THEN ASK ME THE SAME QUESTION AGAIN! AARRRGGGGHHHH! *headdesk* This has to be my biggest pet peeve.
Okay, I think I'm done now.
DON'T MESSAGE ME ON A FUCKING DATING SITE WHEN YOU CAN'T FORM A COMPLETE FUCKING SENTENCE. ALSO, USING "KOOL", "U" OR "i'm" (yes, in lower caps) IS NOT A WAY TO ENTICE A PROSPECTIVE MATE. Hey. Here's an idea. SHOW HER YOU HAVE A FUCKING BRAIN.
*huff*
/rant.
I've lost all complete hope.
Edit: Wait, I'm not done. I forgot something. WHEN YOU'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION, LISTEN TO WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY. DON'T ASK ME A QUESTION, PRETEND TO LISTEN, THEN ASK ME THE SAME QUESTION AGAIN! AARRRGGGGHHHH! *headdesk* This has to be my biggest pet peeve.
Okay, I think I'm done now.
Garbledegook
I don't have much to write about these days.
I've shut the air off, opened the windows and listened to what was left of the rain. The Weather Network says there's a north breeze, but I beg to differ (that's how my windows face and I would feel it coming in).
I've completed my assignments for my courses and just have finals to complete and hand it. It's worse because I don't even feel like touching them with a ten-foot pole. No desire. At all. So the next two weeks will be interesting (that's when they have to be in). I still haven't received my midterms back yet. I'm contemplating taking more courses in the fall, but I'm just not sure yet.
Work has been fine. Two times in the past week when I've put on a clean uniform it gets dirty the same day. Clean uniforms just aren't meant to be. One day I spilled cream soup all over the front of my uniform, the other was tea, I think. I'm contemplating going for a full-time position, but it's out of my specialty/career path. Do I take it and not be as satisfied but have the money, or stay where I am with less money but more job satisfaction? Ugh.
"The plan" I had for the fall? Circumstances have occurred and... yeah, I don't feel it happening. Which has me slightly panicked. I have one other option I'd like to consider and look into, so we'll see what happens with that. Much praying will be done on this.
I have lost the hope of finding my equal.
Oh! I baked cookies earlier in the week and dropped them off at physio. It was nice to see everyone again.
Oh yeah, the date I went on with S.? Not happening. I dropped him so fast I started running before I said "see youlater never". Total effing lunatic. I swear I could turn this blog into any current and future dating disasters (there's a few I'm not mentioning..lol). I've just been messaged by a guy now who, although can't seem to put a full f'g sentence together despite his profession (sort of a prerequisite for me..y'know.. shows me you have brains), he's cute, so I'm gonna chat him up.
Such is life.
I've shut the air off, opened the windows and listened to what was left of the rain. The Weather Network says there's a north breeze, but I beg to differ (that's how my windows face and I would feel it coming in).
I've completed my assignments for my courses and just have finals to complete and hand it. It's worse because I don't even feel like touching them with a ten-foot pole. No desire. At all. So the next two weeks will be interesting (that's when they have to be in). I still haven't received my midterms back yet. I'm contemplating taking more courses in the fall, but I'm just not sure yet.
Work has been fine. Two times in the past week when I've put on a clean uniform it gets dirty the same day. Clean uniforms just aren't meant to be. One day I spilled cream soup all over the front of my uniform, the other was tea, I think. I'm contemplating going for a full-time position, but it's out of my specialty/career path. Do I take it and not be as satisfied but have the money, or stay where I am with less money but more job satisfaction? Ugh.
"The plan" I had for the fall? Circumstances have occurred and... yeah, I don't feel it happening. Which has me slightly panicked. I have one other option I'd like to consider and look into, so we'll see what happens with that. Much praying will be done on this.
I have lost the hope of finding my equal.
Oh! I baked cookies earlier in the week and dropped them off at physio. It was nice to see everyone again.
Oh yeah, the date I went on with S.? Not happening. I dropped him so fast I started running before I said "see you
Such is life.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
I Like To Be Cryptic
There are times when you get really down. You get so caught up in something and reality hits... and you drop. And it hurts. And you feel lost. But then you have those friends that come along, reach their hand down and offer to pull you up. They dust you off, give you a consoling rub on the back reassuring you there's reason in this. There's a continuation; it just seems jaded 'cause it's not what you had in mind. Follow the reason. It was always there to begin with, you just ignored it.
You know who you are. Thanks for pulling me up tonight.
You know who you are. Thanks for pulling me up tonight.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Since I Can't Clean....
The water's been shut off for whatever unknown reason, so I have to take a break from some cleaning. Thought I'd throw a few pictures your way since it's been a while. You can always click them to make them bigger.
I wish I was joking, but the proof is in the picture; he did this himself. I told you he likes to sleep under the covers!
Awww. And he didn't even mind me taking his picture. Yes, he has a (pseudo) diamond-studded 'B' on his pseudo black leather collar. He's cool enough for a little bit of bling.
Zzzzz. As you see, he doesn't do much else (sorry the picture is grainy, not sure what setting I had it at).
I ran across this fellow on my way home from work one night this week.
He was collared, but his fur wasn't very well taken care of, lots of mats :(
Random Babu shot on the counter.
.... because every now and then you just need to sit in the tub.
As I was walking along.....
...and found some ducks!
There's mom.
And....one, two, three, four... Oops, you're out of sync!
Looking down stream.
This is momma. She was real close, with the babies.. about a meter away! She kept an eye on me the entire time, but didn't seem to feel threatened.
Symphony in the Park
Well, that's quite a lot, but it catches me up to the pics I've taken the last little while. Hope you enjoyed :)
Everything And Nothing
I have a lot to talk about today, so get comfortable. I might even add some pictures!
Health: Lets get this one over with. I went for my Methacholine Test and... ta da!.. I don't have asthma. In fact, she was surprised I didn't have any problems breathing given my condition (to which she guessed my sleep apnea must be 'light'). This is a good thing. I was thankful not to receive yet another diagnosis. Onward to the stress test at the end of the month. My local drugstore just called to set up an appointment for a CPAP machine (the trial) and I go for that next week. Good times. A higher-protein diet is still aiding in my digestive issues so this is also a good thing.
Work: Nothing much to talk about here. Though I heard some not so good things yesterday. I was dropping off an H.S nour. last night and I heard a visitor say to their friend/relative (patient), "Alright, don't eat it. Starve. Don't get better. See if I care". Gah. My blood curled. I understand the motive (it was used on me by my parents when I was younger. It didn't help then and I imagine it doesn't help anyone now) although grossly mis-taken. Please don't ever say this to anyone, out of spite... or out of anything. Someone in the hospital needs compassionate care, not idle threats. I also ran into one of my patients out of the hospital and I asked her how she was feeling and she still has bad days, given her illness and told me about how she had to go to the ER last week. "I didn't want to go," she said, "but my doctor made me". I said, "Good, better to be safe than sorry" to which I got a reply, "I didn't want to go! Not after spending a week in there". A week. A WEEK!?! You're bitching about A WEEK when people are in there for MONTHS!?! *sigh* *facepalm* I better shut up while I'm ahead. /end rant.
Onto more cryptic things; the universe has been teaching me a lot lately, I think, about my connection with people. Certain people. And that's all I'm going to say about that.
Well, I need to get moving. Feeling fidgety lately. It's hotter than hell and I've got the air on, so I'm going to putter around and do some work. I'll be posting pictures later :)
Health: Lets get this one over with. I went for my Methacholine Test and... ta da!.. I don't have asthma. In fact, she was surprised I didn't have any problems breathing given my condition (to which she guessed my sleep apnea must be 'light'). This is a good thing. I was thankful not to receive yet another diagnosis. Onward to the stress test at the end of the month. My local drugstore just called to set up an appointment for a CPAP machine (the trial) and I go for that next week. Good times. A higher-protein diet is still aiding in my digestive issues so this is also a good thing.
Work: Nothing much to talk about here. Though I heard some not so good things yesterday. I was dropping off an H.S nour. last night and I heard a visitor say to their friend/relative (patient), "Alright, don't eat it. Starve. Don't get better. See if I care". Gah. My blood curled. I understand the motive (it was used on me by my parents when I was younger. It didn't help then and I imagine it doesn't help anyone now) although grossly mis-taken. Please don't ever say this to anyone, out of spite... or out of anything. Someone in the hospital needs compassionate care, not idle threats. I also ran into one of my patients out of the hospital and I asked her how she was feeling and she still has bad days, given her illness and told me about how she had to go to the ER last week. "I didn't want to go," she said, "but my doctor made me". I said, "Good, better to be safe than sorry" to which I got a reply, "I didn't want to go! Not after spending a week in there". A week. A WEEK!?! You're bitching about A WEEK when people are in there for MONTHS!?! *sigh* *facepalm* I better shut up while I'm ahead. /end rant.
Onto more cryptic things; the universe has been teaching me a lot lately, I think, about my connection with people. Certain people. And that's all I'm going to say about that.
Well, I need to get moving. Feeling fidgety lately. It's hotter than hell and I've got the air on, so I'm going to putter around and do some work. I'll be posting pictures later :)
Friday, July 2, 2010
Patient Stories
I thought I would share a couple patient stories with you that have happened over the past week that have been poignant for me in some way.
When I returned to work after having a long weekend Tuesday, Mr. W. was gone :( I was sad. At the same time, I'm glad because it was hard on Mrs. W. to come to the hospital all the time. She can probably rest a little easier knowing her husband is being better taken care of adequately in a rehab facility.
I was collecting dinner from an older gentleman last night who I could see wasn't quite lucid (he was having conversations with himself; I'm not sure what tipped me off). I went to take away his tea cup and he damn near bit my hand off. Boy I had to move fast. I said in a calming voice, "Okay, you can keep your cup" and took the rest of his tray. When I dropped off his H.S nourishment, I said, "Can I take your cup now?" ever so cautiously. From a distance. I could :)
I came across a new patient this week (or was it last?). I first came across him in The Unit (what we call ICU) when I worked on a different floor, but he's since come down to mine. Super nice; a nice old Italian fellow (in case I haven't mentioned, my community is almost half Italian which is why I'm starting to take up Italian). Anyways... he's on my floor and his daughter was visiting him and they're super nice people. We got to chatting. Funny thing seems to be about this old Italian man.. he wouldn't stop talking! lol. But near the end I got sage advice. "First!" he says holding up his index finger, "Respect". "Second, take care of yourself" (if I understood his context correctly, he meant health wise because, obviously, he isn't doing well (having 3 attacks). Not in a 'selfish' sort of context). I smile and relay 'Yes, I agree' and 'thank you' in Italian and carry on with my job.
Said goodbye to one of my other regular patients last night. We got to talking and she'd been in the hospital for 8 weeks. She's being transferred to a rehab facility out of the city (you go where the government sends you where there's room, which is unfortunate because her daughter won't be able to visit her as much now). Incidentally, she's also Italian and we just started speaking Italian a little towards the end (you'd think I'd be proficient at this point, but I'm not, at all). So we said our goodbyes.
To be honest, I know I get disappointed when patients leave without being able to say goodbye, but I think it's easier. Saying goodbye is more difficult and more sad.
I'll end on a positive note. I was dropping off a dinner tray to another one of my older patients who was sitting up in her chair, which was a nice surprise since she's usually in bed. Even had her house dress on. I dropped off dinner, opened a couple things for her and left. I dropped off the tray to the other lady in the room, went to go back to my NC but turned around and came back and asked her if she'd like to me to cut up her meat. Her daughter wasn't there and I know she wouldn't have eaten it, not having the mobility to do it herself. She was so happy. "That's very nice of you," she says. I smile, continuing to cut up your meat. "You're a very kind woman, wanting to help someone out," she says. I smile (and never know what to say) and ask if there's anything else I can do for her (which involved pulling her sweater over her shoulders for her) and off I went.
So just remember... for every 'horror story' there is about mis-treatment in hospitals or nursing or retirement homes, remember there *are* people that care. I love my job.
When I returned to work after having a long weekend Tuesday, Mr. W. was gone :( I was sad. At the same time, I'm glad because it was hard on Mrs. W. to come to the hospital all the time. She can probably rest a little easier knowing her husband is being better taken care of adequately in a rehab facility.
I was collecting dinner from an older gentleman last night who I could see wasn't quite lucid (he was having conversations with himself; I'm not sure what tipped me off). I went to take away his tea cup and he damn near bit my hand off. Boy I had to move fast. I said in a calming voice, "Okay, you can keep your cup" and took the rest of his tray. When I dropped off his H.S nourishment, I said, "Can I take your cup now?" ever so cautiously. From a distance. I could :)
I came across a new patient this week (or was it last?). I first came across him in The Unit (what we call ICU) when I worked on a different floor, but he's since come down to mine. Super nice; a nice old Italian fellow (in case I haven't mentioned, my community is almost half Italian which is why I'm starting to take up Italian). Anyways... he's on my floor and his daughter was visiting him and they're super nice people. We got to chatting. Funny thing seems to be about this old Italian man.. he wouldn't stop talking! lol. But near the end I got sage advice. "First!" he says holding up his index finger, "Respect". "Second, take care of yourself" (if I understood his context correctly, he meant health wise because, obviously, he isn't doing well (having 3 attacks). Not in a 'selfish' sort of context). I smile and relay 'Yes, I agree' and 'thank you' in Italian and carry on with my job.
Said goodbye to one of my other regular patients last night. We got to talking and she'd been in the hospital for 8 weeks. She's being transferred to a rehab facility out of the city (you go where the government sends you where there's room, which is unfortunate because her daughter won't be able to visit her as much now). Incidentally, she's also Italian and we just started speaking Italian a little towards the end (you'd think I'd be proficient at this point, but I'm not, at all). So we said our goodbyes.
To be honest, I know I get disappointed when patients leave without being able to say goodbye, but I think it's easier. Saying goodbye is more difficult and more sad.
I'll end on a positive note. I was dropping off a dinner tray to another one of my older patients who was sitting up in her chair, which was a nice surprise since she's usually in bed. Even had her house dress on. I dropped off dinner, opened a couple things for her and left. I dropped off the tray to the other lady in the room, went to go back to my NC but turned around and came back and asked her if she'd like to me to cut up her meat. Her daughter wasn't there and I know she wouldn't have eaten it, not having the mobility to do it herself. She was so happy. "That's very nice of you," she says. I smile, continuing to cut up your meat. "You're a very kind woman, wanting to help someone out," she says. I smile (and never know what to say) and ask if there's anything else I can do for her (which involved pulling her sweater over her shoulders for her) and off I went.
So just remember... for every 'horror story' there is about mis-treatment in hospitals or nursing or retirement homes, remember there *are* people that care. I love my job.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
You Wouldn't Believe I'm Alive, But I Am
Blog FAIL.
Sorry guys. I've been around and a little busy but also in a bit of a different world lately. My priorities have shifted, but I'm trying to shift them back again. Or at least, join the two different worlds. It's so easy to get caught up in things sometimes, isn't it? Especially when they're full of happy-making.
All my jars have set. Apparently setting them in the fridge expedites the process. Who knew. I took a picture (yet to download.. or is it upload?) and have yet to post it, but I fear this year's batch isn't going to be as good. They've separated (remember how I crushed, then saved for the next day? The end result is what I feared) and when I say separated, I mean berry from juice. But I gave a jar to J.H yesterday and she said it was quite tasty. Even with half the sugar.
I'm struggling on my midterms with a couple questions and I realize I have to snap to it if I'm going to finish them on time.
I guess I haven't been writing because I have a lot of internal stuff going on in my head. Health stuff, you know about that. But there's also been a lot of internal struggle.. about what I think I deserve (relationships, career, etc) and raising the bar on these. Also trying to accept more of certain parts of who I am instead of fighting it (that's been the most difficult struggle. One tries to shut out negative talk that has been implanted for years upon years and you realize it's all just..... perception). I've been walking a little taller with my head a little higher. Co-workers have noticed I'm smiling more (and it's weirding them out.. heh). I've been feeling really good lately.
Having said that, things at work are a little stressed; they're cutting back our hours. I can't remember if I've written about this, so I apologize if I have. They're taking out our cafeteria people and bringing in a new company to run the retail side of things. Those people are being distributed throughout the department. My shift is being cut 30min/day. This is NOT happy making. I have a plan come the fall which I'm going to start implementing soon. God willing.
Well, I've got to get on with stuff for my day. It's almost Friday! .... which means nothing for me because I work the weekend. But many of you don't, so I hope you have a great end to the week :) And Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canucks ;)
Sorry guys. I've been around and a little busy but also in a bit of a different world lately. My priorities have shifted, but I'm trying to shift them back again. Or at least, join the two different worlds. It's so easy to get caught up in things sometimes, isn't it? Especially when they're full of happy-making.
All my jars have set. Apparently setting them in the fridge expedites the process. Who knew. I took a picture (yet to download.. or is it upload?) and have yet to post it, but I fear this year's batch isn't going to be as good. They've separated (remember how I crushed, then saved for the next day? The end result is what I feared) and when I say separated, I mean berry from juice. But I gave a jar to J.H yesterday and she said it was quite tasty. Even with half the sugar.
I'm struggling on my midterms with a couple questions and I realize I have to snap to it if I'm going to finish them on time.
I guess I haven't been writing because I have a lot of internal stuff going on in my head. Health stuff, you know about that. But there's also been a lot of internal struggle.. about what I think I deserve (relationships, career, etc) and raising the bar on these. Also trying to accept more of certain parts of who I am instead of fighting it (that's been the most difficult struggle. One tries to shut out negative talk that has been implanted for years upon years and you realize it's all just..... perception). I've been walking a little taller with my head a little higher. Co-workers have noticed I'm smiling more (and it's weirding them out.. heh). I've been feeling really good lately.
Having said that, things at work are a little stressed; they're cutting back our hours. I can't remember if I've written about this, so I apologize if I have. They're taking out our cafeteria people and bringing in a new company to run the retail side of things. Those people are being distributed throughout the department. My shift is being cut 30min/day. This is NOT happy making. I have a plan come the fall which I'm going to start implementing soon. God willing.
Well, I've got to get on with stuff for my day. It's almost Friday! .... which means nothing for me because I work the weekend. But many of you don't, so I hope you have a great end to the week :) And Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canucks ;)
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