Today Dave Brubeck passed away. I blogged before about seeing his son, Matt Brubeck, play at the Jazz Festival here; he does take after his father.
RIP, Dave. Thanks for the music and inspiration.
"You can't understand American without understanding jazz. And you can't understand jazz without understanding Dave Brubeck."
~ President Barack Obama, in honour of Dave Brubeck in 2009
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Catch Up..
Yup. Late. Again. Sorry 'bout that.
You see, I *want* to blog, but my time management lately has been a bit poor as, of course you know, part of my day is spent on Skype with my love (which is going fantastic, btw. Can I tell you how ridiculously in love I am?). And one of these days I'll stop apologizing for not writing, assuming that you'll get used to the fact and forgive me anyways.
So, let me go a bit backwards and catch you up on what I last wrote about....
We had gramma's service; it was typical services (I guess?). Scripture reading, memories, life timelines and events. I even learned a couple things about my gram that day (well, her and grandpa both). And it was nice to visit after with family and socialize a bit. I got to see relatives I haven't seen in years (that I used to be close to; cousins, etc). I got to tell one of my uncles (gram's brother) that I'm moving overseas. This conversation was interesting; I felt compelled to tell a man I haven't been close to at all that I was moving back "home". I felt he had to know this. I don't know why. I haven't been close to that side of the family; not by choice, but by geography, difficulty of visits, etc. I've always missed them, though. Like a strange void that has constantly wanted to be filled. The memories of my visits with them when I was a child are still vibrant in my head. I've clung onto them. They were the most... stress-free, family-filled, feeling-whole times of my childhood (I think I just realized why I've clung onto them). They were times I.. got to be a kid. So perhaps my need to tell my uncle a significant life moment is my attempt to tie myself to that side of the family more.
Twelve of us went out for a family dinner after. That was nice, too. Casual, nothing fancy.
I received a couple items from my aunt that evening that were my gram's; a Dutch bible (even more reason to learn the language), a teacup and saucer (that so reminds me of having tea with them when I was younger) and a couple of silver spoons (one with pretty scroll work with the letter 'E' for grandpa's name, and one with a Dutch.. monument/important land build of sorts). You can tell they've been well used for said tea in teacup :) I'm already thinking how to pack the china when I go, as I'll take it with me.
Baking has been next to non-existent. Bleh. I have no excuse for this. I have no reason to bake, really, hence the no baking. I should be experimenting with recipes.. but.. I'm not. I do have one Christmas order to do that I should be working on and pricing. /procrastinating
Oh, the aforementioned conversation with my parents about W. went really well. They were supportive. They listened. They offered opinion.
The language. Oh, the language. *sigh* I'm struggling. Have I mentioned this? I don't remember. I am, to be fair, making it more difficult than it is. I'm not sure why. 'Cause so much is at stake, I think. Learning past languages has been fun because I've wanted to learn them out of curiosity and enjoyment. This I have to learn not just out of curiosity and enjoyment, but necessity. So.. I'm fighting it. And it's ridiculous, because I know it's all in my head. I know. I've read or heard that other people struggle with it, so I think I have to struggle with it. This is crap, because I know I'm intelligent enough to absorb the language. There are times I find myself relaxing about it and it goes a bit more with ease, but those moments are still too far and few between. If you have any experience learning a new language, I'd love to hear your stories.
Also, I just unpacked today (even though it arrived a few days ago) a parcel I bought online for Black Friday sales; luggage. I just unpacked it out of the box; almost as if I've created certain processing times for it in my head. It's sitting out all pretty and red in my living room.
Luggage.
For Europe.
Yeah....
You see, I *want* to blog, but my time management lately has been a bit poor as, of course you know, part of my day is spent on Skype with my love (which is going fantastic, btw. Can I tell you how ridiculously in love I am?). And one of these days I'll stop apologizing for not writing, assuming that you'll get used to the fact and forgive me anyways.
So, let me go a bit backwards and catch you up on what I last wrote about....
We had gramma's service; it was typical services (I guess?). Scripture reading, memories, life timelines and events. I even learned a couple things about my gram that day (well, her and grandpa both). And it was nice to visit after with family and socialize a bit. I got to see relatives I haven't seen in years (that I used to be close to; cousins, etc). I got to tell one of my uncles (gram's brother) that I'm moving overseas. This conversation was interesting; I felt compelled to tell a man I haven't been close to at all that I was moving back "home". I felt he had to know this. I don't know why. I haven't been close to that side of the family; not by choice, but by geography, difficulty of visits, etc. I've always missed them, though. Like a strange void that has constantly wanted to be filled. The memories of my visits with them when I was a child are still vibrant in my head. I've clung onto them. They were the most... stress-free, family-filled, feeling-whole times of my childhood (I think I just realized why I've clung onto them). They were times I.. got to be a kid. So perhaps my need to tell my uncle a significant life moment is my attempt to tie myself to that side of the family more.
Twelve of us went out for a family dinner after. That was nice, too. Casual, nothing fancy.
I received a couple items from my aunt that evening that were my gram's; a Dutch bible (even more reason to learn the language), a teacup and saucer (that so reminds me of having tea with them when I was younger) and a couple of silver spoons (one with pretty scroll work with the letter 'E' for grandpa's name, and one with a Dutch.. monument/important land build of sorts). You can tell they've been well used for said tea in teacup :) I'm already thinking how to pack the china when I go, as I'll take it with me.
Baking has been next to non-existent. Bleh. I have no excuse for this. I have no reason to bake, really, hence the no baking. I should be experimenting with recipes.. but.. I'm not. I do have one Christmas order to do that I should be working on and pricing. /procrastinating
Oh, the aforementioned conversation with my parents about W. went really well. They were supportive. They listened. They offered opinion.
The language. Oh, the language. *sigh* I'm struggling. Have I mentioned this? I don't remember. I am, to be fair, making it more difficult than it is. I'm not sure why. 'Cause so much is at stake, I think. Learning past languages has been fun because I've wanted to learn them out of curiosity and enjoyment. This I have to learn not just out of curiosity and enjoyment, but necessity. So.. I'm fighting it. And it's ridiculous, because I know it's all in my head. I know. I've read or heard that other people struggle with it, so I think I have to struggle with it. This is crap, because I know I'm intelligent enough to absorb the language. There are times I find myself relaxing about it and it goes a bit more with ease, but those moments are still too far and few between. If you have any experience learning a new language, I'd love to hear your stories.
Also, I just unpacked today (even though it arrived a few days ago) a parcel I bought online for Black Friday sales; luggage. I just unpacked it out of the box; almost as if I've created certain processing times for it in my head. It's sitting out all pretty and red in my living room.
Luggage.
For Europe.
Yeah....
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Not What I Thought...
Well, if you're partial to my Facebook status this week, you know (or maybe you don't) that my gramma passed away. I was planning on sitting down and writing to you about her, but I just can't get my thoughts straightened out yet to tell you. It's something I'd like to do, but I'm not as ready as I thought. I hope to soon though, because you should know how awesome she was :)
This was the hardest death for me to deal with, aside from someone else close to me that passed when I was 15. I have no interest in rushing the grieving process. I hate that part about death; it's (in this case) sudden, you have shock, you grieve/mourn, and life goes on. I don't want life to go on. I don't want to acknowledge the last and most-loved (and last remaining) grandmother I had is gone. I don't want her to be a memory. I hate that life is getting back to normal and I just want it to hold still and...not move. I know it's inevitable, but I still don't want it. Not yet.
I knew her death, whenever it would happen, would hurt. So, channeling my (what felt like) inner 6-year old one time, I said to her about a year back, "Gramma, you're not allowed to die." :) A bit taken aback she paused, thought for a second and said, "Well dear, someday I have to." "I know," I said, "but you're not allowed to." Gramma's are supposed to live forever, aren't they? The warm, compassionate, unconditional love they give is irreplaceable. Who else does that? Not usually anyone else like gramma's do.
And this is where I get stuck. I write a sentence, erase it, try again, erase again. I'm not ready. Talking about her will have to wait.
Babu has been pretty awesome for the most part, sticking close by. He slept with me last night and this morning after I woke up and went back to bed. I sat on the couch eating breakfast this morning and he sat beside me, a paw extended on my leg. W. has been nothing but supportive and upstanding in dealing with gram's death. I can't say how special he is.
I won't go without mentioning.... the bake sale I had this week? I sold out.. completely. All gluten-free items! It was fantastic. A day of such mixed emotion: difficult while in grief, high on adrenaline and 'customer service mode', exhaustion, elation. I had repeat customers, and new ones. I sold everything right down to the last bag of cookies. I lost a lot of baking time with the death, but what I made was enough to sell out and give me some extra cash for my Europe Fund.
Today I had a day just for myself. I got my hair cut, had a relaxation massage, a nice lunch out and some friend time. It was perfect.
Tomorrow I'm (finally) having the conversation with my (other) parents about W. Cross your fingers. I can use all the positive thought that this conversation goes well.
I think I'll call it a night. I hope everyone's having a good weekend :)
Goedenacht.
This was the hardest death for me to deal with, aside from someone else close to me that passed when I was 15. I have no interest in rushing the grieving process. I hate that part about death; it's (in this case) sudden, you have shock, you grieve/mourn, and life goes on. I don't want life to go on. I don't want to acknowledge the last and most-loved (and last remaining) grandmother I had is gone. I don't want her to be a memory. I hate that life is getting back to normal and I just want it to hold still and...not move. I know it's inevitable, but I still don't want it. Not yet.
I knew her death, whenever it would happen, would hurt. So, channeling my (what felt like) inner 6-year old one time, I said to her about a year back, "Gramma, you're not allowed to die." :) A bit taken aback she paused, thought for a second and said, "Well dear, someday I have to." "I know," I said, "but you're not allowed to." Gramma's are supposed to live forever, aren't they? The warm, compassionate, unconditional love they give is irreplaceable. Who else does that? Not usually anyone else like gramma's do.
And this is where I get stuck. I write a sentence, erase it, try again, erase again. I'm not ready. Talking about her will have to wait.
Babu has been pretty awesome for the most part, sticking close by. He slept with me last night and this morning after I woke up and went back to bed. I sat on the couch eating breakfast this morning and he sat beside me, a paw extended on my leg. W. has been nothing but supportive and upstanding in dealing with gram's death. I can't say how special he is.
I won't go without mentioning.... the bake sale I had this week? I sold out.. completely. All gluten-free items! It was fantastic. A day of such mixed emotion: difficult while in grief, high on adrenaline and 'customer service mode', exhaustion, elation. I had repeat customers, and new ones. I sold everything right down to the last bag of cookies. I lost a lot of baking time with the death, but what I made was enough to sell out and give me some extra cash for my Europe Fund.
Today I had a day just for myself. I got my hair cut, had a relaxation massage, a nice lunch out and some friend time. It was perfect.
Tomorrow I'm (finally) having the conversation with my (other) parents about W. Cross your fingers. I can use all the positive thought that this conversation goes well.
I think I'll call it a night. I hope everyone's having a good weekend :)
Goedenacht.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Appearances
Yeah... so... hi.
Been a while, I know. I think this is how it's going to be for a while. I apologize in advance. My distractions have been elsewhere and I hope to do a bit of explaining just where they've been. I'm quite tired though (is it sad I'm this tired at 8:30 at night?), so forgive me for keeping this short.
My new love is treating me well. So well, that it's most of the reason I haven't been here to talk to you. We are in a habit now of Skype'ing every night (which is a luxury I'm daily thankful for), for either an hour.. or four. It's nice and it makes me happy :) Every day I'm learning something about him and it makes me smile. I'm a very lucky girl to find someone so understanding, patient and loving. It's nice to be accepted *with* your faults (not despite them) and encouraged to grow in them. Yup, he's a special one. I still don't want to say too much publicly for now, but all you need to know is things are going very, very well :)
Which is why I'm tired at night and shut down early. After our talks (which can end anywhere from 5:30pm to 8-8:30) I'm done. I've committed energy to Skype'ing which is a bit more involved than an actual in-person visit because special attention is given to shitty connections (across an ocean, of course) and making sure you hear everything the other says, if not repeat. We also talk about a lot of in-depth things, so that also takes attention. So after our calls, I don't feel like doing much else. He's gone to bed (he's 6 hrs ahead) and I have an hour or three to get my stuff together for the next day. Which means not writing you here :( But I haven't forgotten about you! I promise I'll write anytime something comes up.
Like bake sales!
I'm entering yet another table at work of my baked goods. It's an annual November Fair we have that's mostly a craft show, but some people put in food items. I'm stressing with what to make, how much to make (it's very high traffic). I have a good idea, but not everything is finalized and it's driving my OCD a bit nuts. I know I'm a last-minute person, but this is crazy. Anyways, the sale is this Friday (eek!) so wish me luck!!
I started the fourth season of Doctor Who (newer series; the tenth Doctor) tonight. Exciting :) Enter: Donna.
Can't think of much else to tell you. Babu is doing well and driving me nuts on a daily basis. I've been mostly healthy aside from usual tummy-troubles made worse from a virus a couple months ago. When you already have a weak system, it takes so long to bounce back from something like that. I'm almost ready to throw in the towel. Dude, if you have a healthy digestive system...BE THANKFUL.
I hope everyone is doing well. I think of you, even if we haven't spoken in a while. Once the craziness subsides, I will be in touch. These days, I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and it's almost getting to be a little too much, yet I can't think of a way ahead or how to dig my way out. I said last Christmas winter will quiet down and I'll finally be able to get to mundane things that I once liked doing. So far? It hasn't stopped. In a year. Is this how life is now? Where did I go wrong? Did I go wrong? How have I committed myself in so many ways that I'm leaving nothing left for...nothing?
*faint*
That's what tonight was for; Doctor Who lets me chill out for an hour. Did I feel guilty the entire time because I know there's things I need to be doing? Absolutely. And I ignored it, cause, I need to stay sane, yo. So.. I chilled.
Me, lately, in a nutshell.
P.S - How have I not had a Doctor Who tag?! Now, a Doctor Who tag. Just 'cause.
Been a while, I know. I think this is how it's going to be for a while. I apologize in advance. My distractions have been elsewhere and I hope to do a bit of explaining just where they've been. I'm quite tired though (is it sad I'm this tired at 8:30 at night?), so forgive me for keeping this short.
My new love is treating me well. So well, that it's most of the reason I haven't been here to talk to you. We are in a habit now of Skype'ing every night (which is a luxury I'm daily thankful for), for either an hour.. or four. It's nice and it makes me happy :) Every day I'm learning something about him and it makes me smile. I'm a very lucky girl to find someone so understanding, patient and loving. It's nice to be accepted *with* your faults (not despite them) and encouraged to grow in them. Yup, he's a special one. I still don't want to say too much publicly for now, but all you need to know is things are going very, very well :)
Which is why I'm tired at night and shut down early. After our talks (which can end anywhere from 5:30pm to 8-8:30) I'm done. I've committed energy to Skype'ing which is a bit more involved than an actual in-person visit because special attention is given to shitty connections (across an ocean, of course) and making sure you hear everything the other says, if not repeat. We also talk about a lot of in-depth things, so that also takes attention. So after our calls, I don't feel like doing much else. He's gone to bed (he's 6 hrs ahead) and I have an hour or three to get my stuff together for the next day. Which means not writing you here :( But I haven't forgotten about you! I promise I'll write anytime something comes up.
Like bake sales!
I'm entering yet another table at work of my baked goods. It's an annual November Fair we have that's mostly a craft show, but some people put in food items. I'm stressing with what to make, how much to make (it's very high traffic). I have a good idea, but not everything is finalized and it's driving my OCD a bit nuts. I know I'm a last-minute person, but this is crazy. Anyways, the sale is this Friday (eek!) so wish me luck!!
I started the fourth season of Doctor Who (newer series; the tenth Doctor) tonight. Exciting :) Enter: Donna.
Can't think of much else to tell you. Babu is doing well and driving me nuts on a daily basis. I've been mostly healthy aside from usual tummy-troubles made worse from a virus a couple months ago. When you already have a weak system, it takes so long to bounce back from something like that. I'm almost ready to throw in the towel. Dude, if you have a healthy digestive system...BE THANKFUL.
I hope everyone is doing well. I think of you, even if we haven't spoken in a while. Once the craziness subsides, I will be in touch. These days, I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and it's almost getting to be a little too much, yet I can't think of a way ahead or how to dig my way out. I said last Christmas winter will quiet down and I'll finally be able to get to mundane things that I once liked doing. So far? It hasn't stopped. In a year. Is this how life is now? Where did I go wrong? Did I go wrong? How have I committed myself in so many ways that I'm leaving nothing left for...nothing?
*faint*
That's what tonight was for; Doctor Who lets me chill out for an hour. Did I feel guilty the entire time because I know there's things I need to be doing? Absolutely. And I ignored it, cause, I need to stay sane, yo. So.. I chilled.
Me, lately, in a nutshell.
P.S - How have I not had a Doctor Who tag?! Now, a Doctor Who tag. Just 'cause.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Quotes
"I walked along the edge of the lake and was treated to the crunch and rustle of the leaves... The acoustics of this season are different and all sounds, no matter how hushed, are as crisp as autumn air."
~ Eric Sloane
~ Eric Sloane
Friday, October 5, 2012
Quotes
Overheard when I was in a diner the other day. A sign?
"Don't look hard for an answer when a simple one is available."
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Farmer's Market to... Pastry Chef?
Well, I'm happy to report today was a success.
....At least, as far as successes go. I count anything as a profit a success, so by my standards, I wasn't asking much. Whatever I made I considered a bonus; I'm doing what I enjoy. Now, I was anxious as hell for getting my baking out in the public for the first time, I'm not gonna lie. You know when things just sort of...roll in succession and happen naturally and fall into place? That's what this was. It was suggested I put in a table, I automatically made business cards without thinking much about it and baked my ass off for 3 days. I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about things or deliberating if this is what I should do.
Now, having said that, I know what I would do differently next time. I need to get on the ball more and I'd make a few changes.. but that's a learned experience and all hindsight now. I'm making notes for next time (I need a designated notebook!).
The weather was.. tolerable. It was drizzly today and damp - so the girls and I were a bit chilled to the bone. I should have a bath tonight; that's a sure remedy.
There were 2 girls at a table next to me who took care of the produce (there was a lot!) and they were super nice. In fact, one of them is a manager at a boutique grocer down the street and suggested I look into getting my product in there (did I just hear myself say someone wanted me to sell my stuff in a store.. professionally?). I'll keep her as a contact. Also, the manager for the cafeteria in the hospital would like to sell my items at Christmas (wow!), but we're not sure if that's feasible yet. I'm not a registered business for all this so it poses problems - but not impossible ones.
I sit back and look at my life as it stands and... I'm so happy and so thankful. You and I know I've wanted things to turn around for a long time now. And if you really know about things, you know I worked hard for this and it's about damn time. I don't feel bad saying I deserve this (something I never would have been able to say in the past; I was a different person then).
How do I feel now besides happy? Tired as hell. I'm exhausted. I can barely keep my head upright. Baking over a hot oven for 3 days and socializing for one & trying to make an adequate impression and future contacts, takes a lot out of a girl. And apparently I'm doing this again in November!?!
Well, I'm going to take a night for myself and get to bed early (back to reality - work!). I can't leave without saying thanks to you for all your support. And you know I can't leave without thanking the Big Guy upstairs. Last but never least, W.; I hate to sound cliche but my rock and my strength. Without your love and support (and endless patience for my craziness; God love you) I wouldn't have had the strength for today. You are my life.
....At least, as far as successes go. I count anything as a profit a success, so by my standards, I wasn't asking much. Whatever I made I considered a bonus; I'm doing what I enjoy. Now, I was anxious as hell for getting my baking out in the public for the first time, I'm not gonna lie. You know when things just sort of...roll in succession and happen naturally and fall into place? That's what this was. It was suggested I put in a table, I automatically made business cards without thinking much about it and baked my ass off for 3 days. I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about things or deliberating if this is what I should do.
Now, having said that, I know what I would do differently next time. I need to get on the ball more and I'd make a few changes.. but that's a learned experience and all hindsight now. I'm making notes for next time (I need a designated notebook!).
The weather was.. tolerable. It was drizzly today and damp - so the girls and I were a bit chilled to the bone. I should have a bath tonight; that's a sure remedy.
There were 2 girls at a table next to me who took care of the produce (there was a lot!) and they were super nice. In fact, one of them is a manager at a boutique grocer down the street and suggested I look into getting my product in there (did I just hear myself say someone wanted me to sell my stuff in a store.. professionally?). I'll keep her as a contact. Also, the manager for the cafeteria in the hospital would like to sell my items at Christmas (wow!), but we're not sure if that's feasible yet. I'm not a registered business for all this so it poses problems - but not impossible ones.
I sit back and look at my life as it stands and... I'm so happy and so thankful. You and I know I've wanted things to turn around for a long time now. And if you really know about things, you know I worked hard for this and it's about damn time. I don't feel bad saying I deserve this (something I never would have been able to say in the past; I was a different person then).
How do I feel now besides happy? Tired as hell. I'm exhausted. I can barely keep my head upright. Baking over a hot oven for 3 days and socializing for one & trying to make an adequate impression and future contacts, takes a lot out of a girl. And apparently I'm doing this again in November!?!
Well, I'm going to take a night for myself and get to bed early (back to reality - work!). I can't leave without saying thanks to you for all your support. And you know I can't leave without thanking the Big Guy upstairs. Last but never least, W.; I hate to sound cliche but my rock and my strength. Without your love and support (and endless patience for my craziness; God love you) I wouldn't have had the strength for today. You are my life.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
It's Heeeeere... (Farmer's Market)
Hey folks. Sorry I've been AWOL; life is changing pace and I'm doing my best to keep up. My attention these days lies elsewhere (the new love is treating me very well, btw; I couldn't be happier!) and I'm doing my best to balance everything.
Well, that time went by fast, didn't it? This coming Wednesday is the Farmer's Market we're holding at work. Turns out there's not many of us, only 3 or so tables (but they're very large tables) and I was not quite volentold.. but.. coerced into putting my baking for sale (it turns out it didn't need much arm twisting). I decided to go for it and put any sales towards my Europe Fund, as stated. What the hell, right?
Well, it's caused me a bit of stress. First I messed up the days and got that wrong, so it took 2 days off of planning that out (same questions as before; what will I make? Will I have enough variety? Will I produce enough?)... and ever since last night, I've been baking when I'm not at work. Thankfully I have tomorrow off, so I will finish it all up then. Oh right, and I'm entering my French baking and gluten-free baking as previously decided. I've never put my baking out in public before, so I'm very anxious. It's one thing to please friends, it's another to please a stranger. But.. we'll see what happens. Think positive!
Well, I'm going to keep this short cause um... time is money. I need to clean up between cookies in the oven and I might even refrigerate some dough and do the rest in the morning. I'll keep you posted!
Well, that time went by fast, didn't it? This coming Wednesday is the Farmer's Market we're holding at work. Turns out there's not many of us, only 3 or so tables (but they're very large tables) and I was not quite volentold.. but.. coerced into putting my baking for sale (it turns out it didn't need much arm twisting). I decided to go for it and put any sales towards my Europe Fund, as stated. What the hell, right?
Well, it's caused me a bit of stress. First I messed up the days and got that wrong, so it took 2 days off of planning that out (same questions as before; what will I make? Will I have enough variety? Will I produce enough?)... and ever since last night, I've been baking when I'm not at work. Thankfully I have tomorrow off, so I will finish it all up then. Oh right, and I'm entering my French baking and gluten-free baking as previously decided. I've never put my baking out in public before, so I'm very anxious. It's one thing to please friends, it's another to please a stranger. But.. we'll see what happens. Think positive!
Well, I'm going to keep this short cause um... time is money. I need to clean up between cookies in the oven and I might even refrigerate some dough and do the rest in the morning. I'll keep you posted!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)