Catch-Up

Hey.  I thought I would attempt sitting and writing you to fill you in on what's been going on, progress, etc.  I'm not sure how I'm finding the patience to sit here; I have a million other things to do and only 2 days to do it.  I work every single day next week (an 8-day stretch) and I'm going to need all the energy I can get, which means my house has to be spotless because I'm not going to have time to clean it through the week.  Regardless, I've been wanting to write you for a while so here I am!  Now we just need to multiply me so I can be doing 5 things at once!

It occurred to me yesterday my paperwork is almost done.  Bittersweet, that is.  You put in so much concentration, effort and money that you're happy it's over, it's what you've been working towards...but...you get a drop from all that effort/energy.  And then you wait.  For what seems like forever.

Here's a basic overview of the process I've had to endure...
The Dutch consulate needs various information before processing my application for citizenship and my passport (passport is a helluva lot more simple than the citizenship, I'll tell you that off the bat).  They need basic information from me: proof of address, ID, Canadian passport, birth certificate (long form, please, not the card; filed for), etc.  What they needed from my father was a lot more complicated.  Well, not so complicated, but tedious and time-consuming.  I needed to file to Thunder Bay for a long-form marriage certificate of him and my mom, his Canadian passport, his record of citizenship papers which as I speak are rushed on their way to some government offices in Nova Scotia (and can take a looooong time to process, so please pray!!), a de-registration certificate that I had to file with the Dutch government in The Hague (I'm also waiting for his paper back; it's in lieu of an old passport that we couldn't find used to emigrate), and the birth cert. and marriage cert. had to be sent to Ottawa to be authenticated (yes, my legal papers have to be legalized).  Aaaaaall of this paperwork, when it returns to me, will be taken in person to Toronto, back to the consulate and handed in.  With, of course, a photo for my potentially-acquired Dutch passport.  Did any of that make sense?  Probably not, and don't bother trying to understand.  I'm still trying to after a month ;)

With what I've had to do and the money involved, I really can't complain and am very thankful.  I know other people have cases that are much worse, more time involved and more expensive.  You hear the horror stories.  Thankfully it's been fairly painless, barring a couple breakdowns and random "Oh my God it's really happening" reality checks.

And it's almost done.  I'm waiting for paperwork to return to me and as soon as I get everything, I go to Toronto.  And then I wait.  Excruciatingly, painstakingly wait.  It'll be out of my hands at that point and I have to give it all up to God.  I keep trying to trust in the plan, but it is challenging at best.  Ah well, what doesn't kill me...............................

 So, not much else to say.  Health-wise I've been on a completely whole-food diet (no sugar, no caffeine, no grains) and as far as my digestive tract, I feel fantastic.  I haven't used my meds in almost two weeks.  It's unheard of.  I'm really happy about that!  It's getting challenging at this point to come up with food and menu ideas, I'm *really* limited, so I'm trying to hang on and not get too frustrated.

Anyways, best to get to the chores.  Hope you have a great weekend.  It's supposed to be warming up a bit (FINALLY) in this part of the world, so try and enjoy the day!

Quote

Jesus said, "Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find it; knock, and the door will be open for you."

Quotes

"Be who God meant you to be, and you will set the world on fire."
~ St. Catherine of Siena

What Just Happened?

I opened an email from the lady I've been speaking to at the Dutch consulate.

In it, contained an application for a Dutch passport.

Me.  Applying for a Dutch passport because I am entitled to Dutch nationality.

Me.

*speechless*
*need time to process*
*a little freaked out*
*will try to write more later and not be so vague*

I've had 3 drinks (1 scotch, 2 brandy) aaaaand.. I need to go to bed.  I'll try to write soon!  Bear with me if I don't, I'm overwhelmed!

:)

Quotes

"Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do it take a complete rest."
~ Ashleigh Brilliant

A Quiet Christmas

Well, the plague 'o death slightly lessens as I attempt to feel human.  Or at least, dress and try to disinfect this place so it doesn't linger any longer than necessary.  Still very tired, but don't want to over-sleep or I won't sleep at night.  Will nap before attempting Midnight Mass tonight.

So.. let's back up to the consulate visit last week.  It went very well!  And.. quite easy.  I didn't have to ask a single question; she intuitively knew I wanted to know if I was still a Dutch national.  And set my pants on fire... I am!  BUT.. I have to do paperwork to keep it.  Before Mar. 27/2013, cause that's when they change their laws.  Again (I've never met a country so finicky).  Did I mention in the 3 months some of that paperwork takes 2 months?  I stressed out just a little with that.  I've already started some paperwork, so we'll see what happens.  If this is the case, it would make a WHOLE lot of things easier.  So.. let's think positive :)

Christmas.  Bah.  It hasn't been a very joyous one for me this year.  Away from W., not being at the church (sick) and let alone can't sing (per said sickness).  It feels very lacking.  I asked my family if we could get together since this would be my last Christmas here, but they failed at that.  We aren't getting together until New Years, if even then.  That's not Christmas.  It's New Years.  Fail.  So, a friend and work colleague invited me to help her in the kitchen with her family Christmas, but it all depends how I'm feeling.  It wouldn't be fair to go like this, infect everyone and not have the energy to socialize.  So, I don't know.  But I really don't want to spend it alone.

I've felt really bad for not sending out Christmas cards, but as I look at my Christmas card holder I only have 3 on it (when it's usually full and brimming over), so I see I'm not the only one feeling busy or overwhelmed this time of year.  I wonder what it is.  That makes it universal, I mean.

I had 3 cats in my apartment today.  My neighbours across the hall are away and I'm looking after the boys. I felt so bad for not spending time with them (being sick, staying in) that I brought them over.  It's not their first time over, but it's their first extended stay.  It went well!  Everyone got along and they hung out.  It was fun.

Well, I think I've run out of things to talk about.  I hope everyone's Christmas plans are going well and you're spending the holidays with those you love.  Merry Christmas to your and yours.. and keep it a safe one :) xoxo

P.S - I can't close out, of course, without attaching the Hallelujah chorus, which I WILL be singing tonight.  Deathbed or no deathbed.  Oh.. good 'ol Andre Rieu..

Blessings.

Ugh..

I have the plague.  Please pray for me.  I might not make it.

#woeisme
#whatdidIdotodeservethis
#ohyeah,workinahospitalwith200sickpeople
#FML

Eek!

I have my appointment with the Dutch consulate in Toronto tomorrow morning.  Please pray for me!  Send good luck wishes.. whatever ya got!  I'm a bit anxious, although prepared; all my questions are written down in my book and will bring legal documentation.

Wow.  That much closer......

Vent #2

As read on the Huffington Post front (online) page: "Very remote.. one of the goths."  I believe they were quoting someone, but the fact is they posted that statement to appear on their front page.

Okay, now it's personal.  

One of the goths?!  Listen, I'll be the FIRST to tell you goths have been some of the nicest and sweetest people I've known.  Having been one, I was immersed in this circle and have created some fantastic, positive memories with them.  Don't stereotype.  

*sigh*  They are trying to figure out a motive.  They are trying to "understand him" to find a reason for erratic behaviour.  No one will ever understand.  No one will get in his head.  No one can ask him to confess what was troubling him.  Yeah, he probably was a genius!  Cause it's the genius fucking kids that are put under so much pressure to perform, you almost can't blame them for cracking.  

Dammit.  

Conneticut

Warning: Possible expletives NOT deleted..

*sigh*

I hate having to voice an opinion about this.  I hate that this even happened that I have to feel so passionate to voice an opinion about something so evil.  Opinion won't be accepted by everyone, all depends what your views are, y'know?  Take what I say with a grain of salt.

First, please don't believe everything you read in the news.  I learned this years ago being the partner of someone in the military.  That's the #1 golden rule.  The news makes everything seem so concrete - but they're only reporting for their angle and with the information they've been given.  Much can be taken out of context.  And you don't know the context because *you weren't there*.  So please, be cautious.

Which leads me into..Second, please be careful what you hear/read/believe about mental illness.  Already being coined with mental illness, personality disorder, autistic, it's situations like this that give a negative stigma to real but (usually) passive disorders.  I'm no expert but I don't know a single autistic (granted, I don't know many) who wants to go around killing people.  No.  There was something else there going on.  I have a good friend who deals with these personalities on a daily basis and she'll be the first to back me up.  Please remember there's more going on behind the scenes than we know.  Mentally ill?  Perhaps.  Didn't feel enough love from those immediately around him to express the anger, hurt, rage that was bothering him?  I'm sure that's guaranteed.  They say he was an honour student.  I'm going to guess he knew what he was doing. He took himself out because he knew if he didn't he'd be spending a lifetime in prison.  I'm not sure which hell is better.  Or worse.

Third, I can't identify as a parent, but it still pulls at my heart.  Kids.  KIDS.  *sigh*  Fucking hell.

Last.. and the positive.. Yes, hug your kids tighter.  Yes, love and appreciate those who surround you.  But remember..*you are alive*  Rather you or those kids, your time will go when you're meant to go.  Give thanks and gratitude for the life you have and that you're able to give it to begin with.  Filter what you read.  Don't put anymore sadness or negativity of the news in your head or household than you need to.  Enjoy the day.  Really enjoy it.

Christian?  Pray for his soul.  Pray our Lord hears his cries and comforts him on the rest of his very painful journey.
Not?  Be thankful that whatever misery he found himself in, he's now out of and isn't a threat anymore.  Keep the victims in mind and heart and surround them with light and love.
Go do a Random Act of Kindness.

/soapbox

Now go out and love!!  :)