Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Out Of Sorts

It started with an odd dream last night.  Very familiar people doing very unfamiliar things.  That's all I'll say about that.

I woke up early (an hour earlier than normal), my stomach was upset (I'm not entirely sure what from, but I have a guess).  So instead of coffee I had a mint tea.  It's just not the same.  In fact, I can't blog any further until I've finished brewing the coffee (just enough for one cup).


*returns with coffee*  *sips*  Ahh, much better.  I have a few calls to make, but I'm not making them.  Perhaps after I finish the coffee.  I'll probably pay for it with my stomach later.

So, there's a guy at work I might like to ask out.  'Might' depends on nerves.  He seems about my age, good looking (in a very cute, boy-next-door sort of way), very, very nice (in a seemingly sweet, gentle sort of way).  He's not the type I'd usually go for.  He's better.  But I'm a bit conflicted in my head/heart.  I still think of my ex often (daily), I miss him (sometimes) and I wish any day now he'd pull his head out of his ass and act on what he wants for once, but, I can't wait.  Maybe he never will.  Maybe he really doesn't want me after all.  I don't know what life has in store for me so I'm just trying different things.  I'm trying to find what fits right.  Even if it's trying on what doesn't fit a couple times.  Don't know unless you try, right?  But why do I hesitate?  Why do I care if he'll say no?  It's just a word.  No.  I guess it all comes down to wanting to be wanted by someone.  Loved.  Cared for.  Thought of.


hydra said...

Can't you wangle it so he does the asking? Do you know that he's free and single? Good luck!

Perovskia said...

I would love to waggle it so he does the asking, but I'm not sure how (I'm usually much more craftier than this). Don't know if he's single - I've got a co-worker finding out (though from his Facebook pages I see 2 kids and another woman..so...).

Strangely enough, I heard from a blast from the past last night.

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