Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Out Of Sorts

It started with an odd dream last night.  Very familiar people doing very unfamiliar things.  That's all I'll say about that.

I woke up early (an hour earlier than normal), my stomach was upset (I'm not entirely sure what from, but I have a guess).  So instead of coffee I had a mint tea.  It's just not the same.  In fact, I can't blog any further until I've finished brewing the coffee (just enough for one cup).

......waits......

*returns with coffee*  *sips*  Ahh, much better.  I have a few calls to make, but I'm not making them.  Perhaps after I finish the coffee.  I'll probably pay for it with my stomach later.

So, there's a guy at work I might like to ask out.  'Might' depends on nerves.  He seems about my age, good looking (in a very cute, boy-next-door sort of way), very, very nice (in a seemingly sweet, gentle sort of way).  He's not the type I'd usually go for.  He's better.  But I'm a bit conflicted in my head/heart.  I still think of my ex often (daily), I miss him (sometimes) and I wish any day now he'd pull his head out of his ass and act on what he wants for once, but, I can't wait.  Maybe he never will.  Maybe he really doesn't want me after all.  I don't know what life has in store for me so I'm just trying different things.  I'm trying to find what fits right.  Even if it's trying on what doesn't fit a couple times.  Don't know unless you try, right?  But why do I hesitate?  Why do I care if he'll say no?  It's just a word.  No.  I guess it all comes down to wanting to be wanted by someone.  Loved.  Cared for.  Thought of.

2 comments:

hydra said...

Can't you wangle it so he does the asking? Do you know that he's free and single? Good luck!

Perovskia said...

I would love to waggle it so he does the asking, but I'm not sure how (I'm usually much more craftier than this). Don't know if he's single - I've got a co-worker finding out (though from his Facebook pages I see 2 kids and another woman..so...).

Strangely enough, I heard from a blast from the past last night.

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